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Deck the Halls (2006)
Why are these actors in a Christmas film anyway?
OK...so creating a cliché comedy at Christmastime is solely for making money. Even so, why do we have to have a nearly all-Jewish cast in a Christian themed holiday show? I'm not religious anyway and don't want that to be the issue here aside from showing the greed involved by those who put this film together only for money. All that aside, the acting was simply horrible and the big show-off ending (Spoiler) where the house finally can be seen from space....it's a scene where it's SNOWING for Pete's sake!!!! How in the world can ANYTHING be seen from space if it's snowing outside? DUH?! Did anyone else even catch that? Matthew Broderick can't act his way out of a paper bag, and Danny DeVito is at his worst. The twins were hot, but predictably played to be shallow and stupid...and were topped by being bad actors. Direction is awful, reaction to situations is not even remotely laughable, and nowhere near what an abnormal human would do even do if they had a zero I.Q.. I can only imagine anyone from outside of the U.S. looking at this movie and finally realizing why every other country hates us and thinks we're a bunch of morons. Someone in Hollywood has to start directing to a level that is not the lowest common denominator...please!!! And by the way, I have driven by light shows where there were serious accidents caused by the distraction...so let's not make this something we should all relish as a new tradition, eh?
The Village (2004)
One of the most stupid "thrillers" I've seen lately
OK....nice premise to this and clever advertising. I finally saw this movie on one of the movie channels and am glad I never wasted any money either seeing it in the theater or renting it.
I certainly understand that there is some suspension of belief involved in watching movies, but this is worse than even some of the Jason movies where people just act dumb and beyond what is normal behavior.
First and foremost, the village people seem to be all a bunch of non-thinking brainwashed weaklings. No dignity in facing death or scary things...just shrivel up and hide. C'mon...how many of you are there? Can't you gang up on just ONE alien and kick the snot out of it? Where are your guns? Even older societies and Amish people had guns. Where are your rebellious teens? We all know teens think they're invincible, so why don't a bunch of them gang up with wooden planks and go after this monster thing? Stooopid.
Next....a BLIND girl walking around in the forest finding her way out AND back into this place? Oh...right...her other senses must have made up for the MILES of non-directional sounds of squirrels, deer and other creepy-crawlies out there in the woods. Why don't deer and bears set off those alarms or get the monsters angry? After finding out what the monsters are (SPOILER) you would think that those who walked out into the woods just once would have done that while all of them were sleeping and not dressed up as one. How did the people dressed up know when someone walked past "the line"? Motion sensitive cameras? Infrared heat-seeking alarms? No...where would they have been hidden? Then...when the girl does find out it's all a sham and even goes so far as touching the costume to know it's all a crock...why then is she afraid when she confronts the monster in her walk out of the woods? Secondly...WHY (please tell me) would the crazy idiot dressed as the monster spread red flower petals (or feathers or whatever they were) around wherever he was to try to scare a blind person with a visual effect? Clearly that was an effect to make US think a monster was coming...it would and should have no effect on the blind person. Why did he have to dress up to scare her? She couldn't see the costume anyway. Stooopid.
How also does she know it's a monster, not a deer, possum or even a monkey? SHE CAN'T...and this is a bit beyond my ability to suspend disbelief. Why doesn't the "monster" just walk right up to her and slash her or whatever it was he wanted to do with her? She couldn't have seen him coming? Maybe she could have heard him...but then there's no way she could have outrun him. Stoopid again! Instead running and falling into a pit that she really had no idea how deep it was...but somehow she knew right when to duck out of the way. I think they stretch the Helen Keller abilities of this blind person into more comic book superhero for what this movie was all about.
Lastly, wasn't it just SO convenient that she walked out of the woods and just happened to have the boy scout of boy scouts find her and then not ask too many questions. And then happen to have the right medicine and get by the incompetent and supposedly bad guy park ranger dude who sorta knows what's going on. By the way, just how much would you have to pay or bribe...and to whom...to arrange all air traffic to avoid the area.
Sorry if this spoiled it for you...it was ruined for me as soon as the opening music came up. What a waste of time. By far this is one of the more worthless efforts of this director ever.
Back to School (1986)
Classic Rodney about to be Cut to Ribbons
This is as classic (though campy) as Rodney gets. I just had to comment ahead of time that any remake of this, especially one involving Cedric the Entertainer, cannot possibly live up to the original.
I'm really tired of Hollywood trying to win over the hip-hoppy, shallow culture by instilling Cedrick the Entertainer in this remake-to-be when the original was done by a classic entertainer. What's next...a remake of Animal House with P-Diddy as Bluto (or whatever he calls himself these days)? Rodney is already turning over in his grave knowing how bad the remake is going to be. Somewhere up there I hope he can convince God to strike the set with thunderous bolts of lightning and 14 inch hailstones. Can't Hollywood leave well enough alone? Rodney, now that you're dead....they give you even less respect!
Fever Lake (1997)
Was on set when filming this horrible horror flick
This film, in addition to being filmed in Lake Mary, Wisconsin was also filmed at Carthage College in Kenosha, WI. At the time they filmed this I was the student center manager there and basically acted as property manager.
In the credits near the end are two names "special thanks to" and I'm one of them.
I think the funniest thing about this film was that it came out shortly after ShowGirl did...and when I asked Mario Lopez what he thought about the her in that film he just alluded to her looks and that she's as dumb as a box of rocks...but hot! Scenes were filmed all around the campus, including in the gymnasium, locker room, track and cafeteria. One specific scene is outdoors from the cafeteria on a deck that, in reality, is never used for anything by the students in general. I suggested they use that with a nice view over Lake Michigan and they took me up on it since they needed a scene where Corey walks up on it.
The track scene filming was hilarious in that everybody there was faster than Corey was in running. They yelled at anyone who even came close to keeping up with him to fall back and make it look like that little guy could actually keep up and win. Interesting angles they take on that to make him look taller than he is....he's really short. I was in the background also in the stands as they ran buy...I can only see my legs in the shot as they run by them. It took all day just to film that short segment and the one leading up to it with people walking down a hill toward a fence near the track.
There was supposed to be a nude shower scene, but that must have ended up on the cutting room floor. They were pretty tight as far as letting anyone in to the locker room when filming that one...other than that you could walk up anywhere they were shooting it very easily. The director was a decent guy too...really down-to-earth.
Also, I've never realized Corey was such a "yes man", always seeming to really kiss up to the director like if he didn't, he'd get fired or something. "Yes, sir", "right away, sir"...really formal and brown-noser like. Maybe that's why he is mostly in straight-to-video flicks like this...which is was the intent was. This was to be released only in Europe where he has a bigger fan base, and was straight to video (if you can even find that) in the US.
I've seen a lot worse movies than this one, and do wish sometime that Corey would start to act his age and get into another real movie. Even when this one was just released, it was next to impossible to find it. I watched it once...that was enough.