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Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019)
An Amazing B-Movie ! Absolutely Worth Watching
Before I start I am somewhat saddened by the low ratings of (I'm guessing here) a younger crowd who can not appreciate the fun of a campy B movie. This movie isn't a blockbuster like The Avengers and it was never supposed to be but it IS an amazingly fun tongue in cheek romp of a lot of sci-fi and cultural tropes. Mild spoilers follow ....
This movie makes superb fun of some cultural icons like the Indiana Jones movies, Putin, Sarah Palin and several cultural archetypes. It's tongue in cheek all the way - and imho - it works.
So it turns out that major world leaders past and present were really lizard-people after all - and they are now living in the center of the Earth which, of course, actually is hollow. The old moon-nazi base is crumbling and the only way to save the last of humanity is to get to the Earth's core and retrieve, what else, The Holy Grail. Hey why the hell not?
The chase scene with our heroes being pursued by alien-Hitler, alien-Margaret Thatcher, and alien- Pope (among others) driving frigging Triceratops's drawn chariots is worth the price of admission alone.
The movie is a lot of damn fun - period. It knows what it is and it does it beautifully. I say all the above as a true sci-fi fan (yeah, I said "sci-fi mofos) who remembers the day when not every movie had to be a multi-billion dollar production and Rodger Corman ruled the Earth.
2036 Origin Unknown (2018)
How badly must you need money to star in this film? Very Badly ...
Origin Unknown answers the long asked question, "What would happen if we decided to make a film using a Commodore 64 and a bunch of Legos for special effects?" This would happen - and it's not pretty and it's not fun.
Cheesy special effects aside let's discuss the writing and direction. Well we're done discussing that because there ISN'T any. A lot of the (un)action takes place in a single room as dialog between Sackhoff and a computer robot head that would do Mystery Science Fiction Theater 3000 proud. Sackhoff needs to fire her agent for booking her this piece of tripe...and maybe her accountant... and maybe she should slap her mother one too as well for good measure.
It;s obvious the six year olds who filmed this were "inspired" by 2001 A Space Odyssey because you see several of the same shots and scenes. They tried to emulate the film but it comes across a bit worse than the "Sweeded" version you might see from "Be Kind, Rewind"
This is a HORRIBLE film and everyone involved in it should be ashamed. I'M ashamed just writing this review.
Day Zero (2011)
The acting is amateurish along the lines of a fan-flick at **best**. The science is non-existent and it took all of nine minutes into the series to make a "girls don't understand science" comment. At 10 minutes in we got some slut shaming - nice.
Also notice the distribution of votes on the IMDb vote page particularly the uneven distribution of "10" votes- the voting has been shilled.
Admittedly the post production cuts are rather well done but it can't make up for the juvenile acting, direction, script and slow moving plot.
Approaching the Unknown (2016)
LIke SeinFeld on Mars ; A Movie About Nothing - On Mars
I had to stop watching 40 minutes in. It was THAT bad. Imagine if someone made a movie just like "The Martian" but with no talented actors, no actual plot, a poor screenplay and no cinematography. What a swell idea - Let's do it ! There is no plot. It's as if the faceless assassin from "A Game of Thrones" decides to make a movie,"A man goes to Mars. A man arrives on Mars". The End.
The acting is not believable. There is NO cinematography to speak of.The special effects are decidedly non-special. The plot is non-existent. There is almost literally nothing to see here. Why even make this stinker in the first place?? Don't waste your time - you've been warned.
400 Days (2015)
Just because you can make a movie doesn't mean that you should.
A perfectly terribly movie with little, if anything, in the way of redeeming value. From a script that portrays characters acting in completely unbelievable ways to the tired old cliché of "let's all split up"this movie is a complete waste of one's time. Four prospective astronauts who in real life couldn't qualify for Walmart greeters get buried in the ground for a year and when they come out the world has changed. Apparently it has all changed into one giant D- grade horror movie cliché. Poorly written dialog, clichéd characters, and a plot written by Dunning Kruger Inc all add up to a completely wasted portion of your life that you will never... never get back.
There is zero resolution to the movie and every single "horror" moment is telegraphed like a 1900's Western Union operator working overtime. A good chunk of the non-action takes place in a post-apocalyptic dive bar which is where I imagine the director and screen writer likely spent much of their misspent cinematic education.
The only real horror here is how a group of people can spend months (days??) of their time producing such a completely worthless pile of steaming celluloid and still have the temerity to put their names upon the completed work.
The Posthuman Project (2014)
UnProfessional Acting and DIrecting Make This Film A Complete Mess
Firstly, that guy above me who wrote one review for IMDb - for this movie - and gave it a 10 - that guy just about admits to being on the crew of the film.
This is a fairly bad movie and most definitely not worth the time to view. The acting is that of a poor high school drama club, the "special effects" essentially consist of occasional blue glowing eyes and the direction is virtually non-existent.
The plot line nothing you haven't seen before, exposure to radiation gives teenagers mutant super-powers. Right.
The movie openly adopts a graphic novel approach with occasional cuts to an comic book overlay of the current scene. Nice but I'm pretty sure we've seen that before too.
We live in an age where almost anyone can make a film because the tools to do so are so easily accessibly. This film once again proves that not everyone should.
The Forbidden Dimensions (2013)
It's not only not worth seeing - it's not even worth reading the reviews
If a group of Junior High School students with no discernible artistic talent decided to create, produce and act in a movie using only a Handicam and a pirated copy of iMovie then this is the movie that they would make.
I would not say that this movie was awful because it would have to really strive for an upgrade in quality to rise to the ranks of awful. Full of rubber Halloween masks, Junior High drama club acting and a heavy handed score that I am absolutely certain had to be ripped off from elsewhere because finding any sort of talent in this movie would be an amazement.
I watched only 15 minutes and that was 14 minutes too many. This piece of crap is a tribute to incompetent people everywhere who have no clue whatsoever as to their true lack of talent. I wish the the writers, actors,directors and film crew well in their future careers in the fast food industry.
EDIT (5-17) I see that one of the actors involved in this train wreck has shown up, identified themselves as such and - unsurprisingly - given the film a 10 star review. 10 stars?? Seriously ???? ! Ugh :( She also mentions that the film was supposed to emulate the camera shooting style of the 1980's. FAIL! I was alive during the 1980's. I know the 1980's and this movie Ma'am has nothing to do with the 1980 - shooting style or otherwise.
I also forced myself to watch the entire movie. If anything it gets worse after 15 minutes - much worse. It's like an interactive horror movie where the real horror is you watching your screen in bored disbelief.
Edit Part Deux: I see that yet another person associated with the production of this unmitigated disaster has come online to call this a "loving homage to 80's films". This is as much a loving homage to 80's films as much as Hannibal Lechter was a loving homage to fava beans. The film has nothing to do with the 80's and is only a homage to horrid film-making everywhere. In that it excels. If you pirated this film be sure to send the makers of this stinker a bill for your bandwidth because they owe you - they owe you bigtime.
Poor Quality on Every Possible Count
My initial review was going to start with "If a couple of high school students decided to make a movie this is the one that they would make." Imagine my surprise when I then read the previous review and found that this movie was actually made by group of Norwegian high school students. Nailed it.
The soundtrack is generic, the acting, dialog and overall screenplay values are that of a high school play. A badly acted high school play. Very. Badly. Acted. The camera work is amateurish and the editing is utterly confusing. I initially wanted to turn this piece of awfulness off within 10 minutes but forced myself to watch almost 30 in the unlikely hope it would get better. It did not.
There is nothing redeeming about this work and it is absolutely not worth watching for any reason save as a case study in how not to make a movie.
We now live in a world where a group of amateurs can create a movie (and I use the term generously) and have it distributed internationally on Blu-Ray presumably through manipulation of SEO. This is not a good thing. Don't waste your time.