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SCARY MONTY PYTHON
This is one scary horror and ridiculous flick. Full of really really scary moments and the usual really really stupid moves to build tension.
It reminds me of the Black Knight in Monty Python's Holy Grail. As many arms get bitten off, as many massive wounds and trauma are inflicted by the many many massive alligators, on our heroes, they are never subdued in any way, other than thinking obviously.
Oh and the occasional really really silly dialogue to try develop the characters? Waste of time!
The alligators weren't that smart either.
Das Boot (1981)
DAS IST SEHR GOOT!!
This is a cracking, at times literally, great movie. Please don't ever send me down in one of those crammed cigar tubes. Incredibly brave but not always heroic.
The movie does really really well showing the humanity in amongst the horror of it all. War is not a fun place. So different to your typical Hollywood action/heroic blockbuster.
Great acting, script and direction. Obviously some of the action scenes are not up to today's CGI standards and you can clearly see that the ships are models. But that said, those scenes are really incidental and week done for the age of the movie.
A truly excellent movie. A must watch.
After Life (2019)
A bittersweet little movie that progresses from bitter to sweet without losing its humour, although I preferred the angry Tony to the contrite Tony.
Some pretty funny moments. Worth the watch.
A sweet sad little movie. Close to being sickly sweet but just managed to not be.
Half annoying kid but a tolerably good watch none the less.
The Last of the Mohicans (1992)
THE FIRST SUPERHERO MOVIE
Good fun movie with lovely scenery, huge action scenes and a bit of romance. The acting is solid and script ok. Great score.
My minus 3 stars are for the ridiculous over the top action scenes where basically Danny and his mates can shoot anything from 1000 feet away, at full gallop, whilst dodging bullets, axes and various other deadly missiles all the while killing hundreds of their enemies with arbitrary arm swings and shrugs of their mighty shoulders. Marvel Mohicans!!! 🙄
Diplomatic Immunity (1991)
IN THE TOP TEN WORST MOVIES FOR DANGED SURE!!
This is hilarious. It almost challenges The Room as the worst movie ever made. Seriously, this is so so so bad, it's excellent!!
Shocking acting, side splitting script, crazy arsed plot, appalling score and some of the worst "action" and "stunt" scenes ever. (Charlie Chaplain would have been proud) Bloody hilarious. And the hairstyles... OMFG 😂🤣😂
You have to ask if they really thought they were making a real movie. Filmed on location in Paraguay (Los Angeles looks exactly like Paraguay) 🙄😅
"How do you know?" "Weeeelll, it is my bizness to know"
"Some people prefer a lover without a face so they can concentrate on the body"
"You're the best he can do for a conscience"
"Cancer killed my wife. I couldn't fight that. But this Punk that killed my daughter, I can fight!"
"You part of this?" "I'm all of this. It's my job"
"You're so desperate for love. You inspire nothing but hate"
"We invoke the principle of Diplomatic Immunity!!!" 😂🤣😂
The hero and villain, both shot in the legs, kicking and jumping about like Bruce Lee. 😅
If you liked The Room, this is a must watch!
DEAD CERT ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVES
This is such a fantastic movie. Miller is so courageous to break the Super hero mold with the dirty minded, wise cracking anti hero, Deadpool.
Fantastic, hilarious script, never flagging action and over the top violence and gore. This is seriously ground and bone breaking.
One of my definite go to repeat views if I am ever depressed and need a lift.
The Art of Self-Defense (2019)
THE ART OF THE RIDICULOUS
This is a strange movie. I want to say black comedy but more yellow to be frank.
Definitely unusual. Not Jesse Eisenberg's role nor performance. He is bog standard vanilla, or should I say white, Eisenberg. The plot certainly is unusual. It leads you down a path which is unpredictable for a third of the movie but then becomes totally predictable, even as ridiculous as it is.
An ok movie but really only yellow belt worthy.
GETTING DEWEY COX
Really good parody of the latest musical biopic fad. Some good fun slapstick humour and surprisingly good musical score.
I am guessing not for everyone but worth a watch!
Bullet to the Head (2012)
A BURGER IN MY GUT
When I eat a burger I don't expect a steak. This is clearly a burger. A cheesy burger, but a solid burger.
Good action, some fun jokes, and general mayhem. No thinking required
Enjoy your burger. 😉
The Darkest Minds (2018)
FAILED TEEN SUPERHERO TV PILOT?
This supposed movie appears to be awfully like yet another awful teen superhero TV series. The ones that are constantly clogging our TVs with terrible acting, scripts, PC ethnic cast, even worse CGI effects and brain numbing plots "teens good - adults bad". Except that this one's never made it past the pilot. So they released it as a movie. OMFG!
ALL THAT GLITTERS
A cute, if too long movie that had me reaching for Wikipedia to check the truth.
McConaughey, Ramirez and Howard are all excellent.
A solid watch.
Hotel Mumbai (2018)
This is a really good movie. Well paced, great direction, not overly cheesy and managed to convey a good balance of horror, heroism and pathos.
It really brings home the stark reality of what it must be like to be caught up in a sustained terror attack. Terrifying is the operative word. It makes one think how you would behave in a similar situation.
The fact that so many staff stayed and died protecting their guests was well portrayed.
A terrific movie about humanity and inhumanity.
I WAS HOPING FOR MY OWN HEAD TO BE CHOPPED OFF
This is a loooooong, perhaps not entirely boring as the intermittent torture helps pep things up.
I am not sure if this was intended as a pro Christianity epic, but it merely served to reinforce the sad implications of ignorant masses devoutly following religious doctrines, which they really don't understand, to their deaths. All in the hope of escaping their miserable earthly existence.
This movie is akin to the other religious disaster, The Passion of Christ. I guess if you're a keen flagellant, this movie is a must!!
Oh, and Andrew Garfield is completely miscast!! Adam Driver is great and Liam Neeson, another casting error.
Some nice cinematography, and costumes save this from a 1 star. If you really want to watch an excellent missionary movie, watch The Mission. Oh and it has a real actor in it, de Niro... Nuff said
The Nightingale (2018)
OVER THE TOP UGLY
This could have been a good movie but instead it is a series of really ugly, over the top, scenes mashed together to show that the invasion of Australia by the evil white Brits was extremely horrible. Repeatedly emphasising this over and over like a rifle butt to the face.
The plot is ridiculous and the amount of people wandering through and meeting each other in the wilderness is absurd.
The characters are extreme but perhaps plausible in those times and situations.
Overall an ok, if ugly little movie.
EASY COME, EASY GO - NOT!!
A crazy little black comedy that is both ridiculous and intriguing. I kept expecting twists that never arrived and was delighted by the many many zany twists that did.
Don't expect logic, continuity or a remotely understandable plot. Do expect a pastiche of weird situations and characters and you will have fun.
Enjoy the journey!
After Earth (2013)
SHYAMALAN SHOULD STICK TO TIK TOK
A bit like Tik Tok video where a loser dad films himself with his even more hopeless son in a ridiculous parody intended to make themselves less useless than they are. And fail miserably. Annoyingly. Unwatchably.
Actually I lie. Never seen anything as embarrassing on Tik Tok.
I am kind of expecting M Night Shyamalan's next production to be a 30 second Tik Tok bomb. (Which will probably be better than this). Everything he touches gets worse and worse. I guess the only people who would back him now would be a another father/son ego project.
If you enjoy torture then definitely watch this slow stabbing of your eyeballs by the worst acting of all time. 🙄
The Endless (2017)
LOOPY BUT GOOD
This is a really different little Indi movie that is well worth a watch. A little slow at first, but gets you hooked as the plot unfolds.
My biggest gripe is the casting. I felt it hard to distinguish between the characters except the two brothers who were the least alike of the entire cast.
That said, an enjoyable plot, script and great, understated, special effects.
Could become a cult classic...
ONE OF THE BEST ZOMBIE MOVIES EVER
Honestly, I love Korean movies, and am obsessed with Zombie movies. Parasite showed the broader world how Koreans cab make a great movie, but honestly, I think this is better.
Without a doubt, in the top 3 zombie apocalypse movies ever.
Enjoy the ride!!
SERIES 3 IS A WINNER
It's not often that a TV series of the quality of Ozarks, can sustain the high level through multiple series.
Well done to Bateman and his crew, they have smashed it out of the park with S3!! What a rollercoaster!
Can't wait for S4!!! Please don't be long. 😢🙏
Official Secrets (2019)
REALITY BETTER THAN FICTION
The movie was ok I guess. Keira was so so. I find her unrelateable and really hard to like or feel empathy for. Fiennes was solid. I found the young husband's character very weak.
Overall, the actual true story was way more interesting than the movie.
An ok watch
21 Bridges (2019)
21 TV MOVIES JUST LIKE IT
Lots of stirring music and stirring speaches mixed up with a bit of TV style shoot-em up in a really simple, pedestrian, tepid, facile plot written on the back of a napkin while dropping a particularly nasty load in the crapper. Is my guess anyway...
BORDERLINE CRAZY BUT RIVETING
This is a really really different movie. A thriller, a love story, a coming of age, a fairy tale!!
Wow. A really adventurous plot, script and set of characters.
I don't want to spoil this trip. If you're reading this and are looking to explore new frontiers then this is a must!
Enjoy the trip across the border!!
Spenser Confidential (2020)
This is pretty standard faire. A bit of fun. A few jokes, a bit of action and a little over an hour of self isolation successfully navigated.
Munmo tashi khyidron (2016)
This is not your normal movie. It is slow, mysterious and riveting. I must admit that had it not been in Bhutan I probably would have stopped 10 minutes in, but it was so amazing to be able to get a peek into this mysterious little kingdom. It's people, culture and stunning landscapes.
At no time did I have any sense of where this crazy meandering but enchanting mystery was going. A decent and well meaning but simple detective follows the heroine/villain through out the movie. We and he never really get to grips with what is going on but we all sort of trust her, even though it is impossible to get a straight or even remotely normal response out of her. Is she a witch? We don't think so, but there are certainly signs and many people warning us.
In the end, we discover who the baddies are, the hero find peace and the mystery surrounding the enchanting heroine continues unabated.
A lovely little movie that will leave you feeling content if not enlightened...