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Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
Ever Hear of a Nanny, Dustin?
Until you get some help or experience with children, get a professional nanny. Problem solved. stupid.
The only reason to watch this TV show is to spot younger actors who went on to better things later in life. I came in late after watching 'Frasier' and as far as I am concerned, every episode of 'Cheers' is pretty much exactly the same. I hate the stories and I hate the SAMENESS of Carla, Cliff and Norm, et al. No one should give a crap about people who act the same way every episode. In a real bar, Carla would be out on her ass after a month. Cliff and Norm would be outcasts. I don't know how Kelsey Grammer sprouted from this steaming pile of excrement but his spin-off far outweighs this garbage. The only reason to tune in is to see how a young Frasier and Niles look alike. Maybe a dozen episodes from ten or more years of this crap are worth watching. End of rant.
Seinfeld: The Smelly Car (1993)
What actor played the smelly valet? I have searched for years and still no answer! The actor must be ashamed because he smelled so terrible.
This is one of the worst episodes of the show because: 1. It's got only one joke played out for almost the entirety of the episode. 2. The smell keeps changing strength from bad to horrible to just bad to intolerable. 3. The valet did not smell bad when Jerry asked for his car at the beginning. 4. The valet did not stink up any other cars during the episode. 5. Elaine's elaborate treatment didn't work at all but her boyfriend barely noticed when she first got out the car after the valet and to his apartment. 6. The maitre' d didn't stink after he sat in Jerry's car for a few minutes. 7. The car wash guys didn't stink after they detailed his car all afternoon.
I know. It's all one very long unfunny joke after about three minutes.
Back to the Future Part II (1989)
Stupid plot altogether
So to start: What was Doc's hurry to bring Marty to 2015? They could've taken months to devise a real plan, WITHOUT BRINGING JENNIFER. They had a time machine for god's sake. Second: why did they go all the way back to 1955 to retrieve the almanac from Biff. Just go back to 2015 an hour before Marty bought the almanac and either stop the purchase or buy it and burn it then. So you say, "It's a different, altered 2015 by then, so they can't." If it's THAT different then Biff never could take the almanac back to give it to younger Biff in 1955, so that alternate timeline could not exist. And Doc makes such a big deal about someone interacting with their past/future selves. Well, Biff gave himself (in 1955) the almanac and explained what it would mean to younger-self Biff. Nothing bad happened with that scenario. Or go back to 1955 a day earlier than they did, slash Biff's tires or otherwise hinder the meeting with his older self. They have a TIME MACHINE! If one plan fails, go back and try again. Plus, old 2015 Biff immediately works the time machine perfectly to go to 1955 and give his young self the almanac. Then, he brings it back! Why? Let Doc and Marty be trapped and try to figure something out. Maybe they could build another time machine in the dystopian 1985 but they would need money and probably new jobs and it would take years. And how did Biff get back to the same 2015 since he altered all future events back in 1955? This sequel script has more holes than a Swiss cheese. Turn off your brain and enjoy this complete mess. I only gave it five stars because I love ripping it apart.
My Favorite Year (1982)
All that yelling
I tried this movie twenty years ago in the 90s and I thought I just wasn't in the proper mood for it then, because I did not like it much. Now I watched it again because everybody else on IMDb seems to like it, if not love it. Everyone in this film overacts horribly and the only one who should be doing that is Peter O'Toole because of his flamboyant character. Not only that but every other person in this thing is almost constantly screaming their lines. The pacing is all off and the jokes stink; and most are recycled from better sources anyway. I could not watch five minutes at a time without muting it or pausing it. O'Toole getting drunk, horny and silly every other scene gets old after about ten occurrences. I cannot believe all the stellar reviews on here, unless all the critics were tipsy or high when they first saw it back when it first came out. Avoid if you like funny comedies that are more subtle, like "The Three Stooges." Also, I don't think Jessica Harper (K.C.) is pretty or talented as an actress.
76th Golden Globe Awards (2019)
Andy Samberg... Sandra Oh... THE END. Classic.
Andy Samberg... Sandra Oh... THE END. Classic.
Andy Samberg... Sandra Oh... THE END. Classic.
Andy Samberg... Sandra Oh... THE END. Classic.
The Titan Games (2019)
Totally Staged Vanity Project for 'The Rock'
The outcome is already known from the production standpoint beforehand, just like wrestling. Fun to watch but it's all total BULL."DJ" (ha!) rooting for one contestant is never done normally. All flash. Behind the scenes, the competitor's kids are asking Daddy if he will be the next Titan. This is the first season and those clips must have been filmed weeks/months ago. Leave your brain at the door.
One woman blew her knee out on 01/10/19, but she won that round. Lots of fun that she may never compete again, let alone walk. Bet she had to sign a waiver first to participate so she cannot sue the network. Next!
Show Boat (1936)
I don't mind corn but...
This is one of the worst musicals I have ever seen. I don't mind old-timey racism a la "Gone With the Wind" or "Song of the South" but no one ever mentions this pile of garbage and the talk of "darkies" throughout. The only decent song was "Old Man River" and I enjoyed that small part. The women shuffling during "That Man of Mine" were embarrassing. I defy anyone to watch this for the first time and enjoy it. After all the four-star reviews I have heard for many years, I cannot believe I had to force myself to watch the whole thing. I am now still watching it and am now at the blackface part. Kill me now. Gallivanting around.
Seinfeld: The Junk Mail (1997)
One of the worst.
This episode seems like it was written by children. Every aspect is weak. The only reason I am giving it two stars is because Toby Huss (as Jack) was funny doing his, "I'm the Wiz," voice while walking silly in front of Elaine at Monk's.
Kramer's story was stupid. If he doesn't want Pottery Barn catalogs, just throw them in the recycle bin. Or the garbage. Who cares? George should've been delighted that his parents wanted to finally leave him alone. Throughout the entire series George hated the burden of his parents. Totally asinine. Jerry's stupid friend and the free van was idiotic. Sell the van and get a few thousand. Or raffle it off for charity. People digging holes? George dating his ugly cousin? George's parents constantly in the sack every free moment? Please pass me the revolver. I will pull the trigger. One of the worst and weakest episodes of the entire series.
Going in Style (2017)
Stick With the Original
Compared to this, the 1979 original is Shakespeare. This remake is an embarrassment for all concerned. Four icons of acting entertainment wasted, and made to look idiotic for our amusement. Not even sure why they called it "Going in Style" when they could have named it "Four Morons End Their Careers in the Toilet." Arkin is a crank. Caine just walks through his lines. Freeman is tap dancing as we throw nickels. Ann-Margret is trying to be a 25 yr-old minx yet again. I cringed from the supermarket robbery onward. No sane person would rob a store where they go every week to shop. There is no reason to write more here as it just gets worse and worse. Go watch the original and see how it should be done!
Fun escapist fare; Nothing more
If you like to turn off your brain for three hours, watch this. I am not saying this in a negative way because sometimes you just need a sappy movie to take to bed. Not everything has to be Shakespeare to be enjoyable. So get some chocolate ice cream and a glass of red wine and don't think for an evening. Trust me, it will be fun.
Patton Oswalt: Annihilation (2017)
Five Stars Because it Was Half a Great Set
This is my first Patton Oswalt stand-up experience. There were some good observations and bittersweet stories about his late wife. I did not know he was a widower and that his wife died in her sleep about a year ago. Some bits went on too long so this really needed fifteen minutes trimmed from certain gags. The Polish woman unintentionally traumatizing his young daughter went on way too long. A few stories were too long because they really had no point. The fight he once observed is a perfect example. The ending bit with the porn references was also too long and smutty, maybe because I was eating lunch at that particular spot by pure chance. Then when he said it was his late wife's favourite bit, I told myself that at least he had a reason for including it. I gave him the five pity stars because he showed great courage in getting back on stage and opening his heart.
How Dare They Make Me Cry at This Schmaltz?
Yes, it's a carbon copy of the original. But some people watch the original over and over again anyway. So they might as well make another adventure in the exact same vein. So every beat they hit is the exact same. Vacation time at Christmas. Kevin is left by himself. He is scared, sure, but soon accepts his fate and enjoys everything to the fullest. The two crooks threaten the kid, but then he proves how stupid the bad guys are by setting intricate traps for them, and they fall into each one. Harry and Marvin go to jail. Mom reunites with her son. The old weirdo that befriended Kevin earlier smiles at the end.
Boom boom boom. Every box checked. I don't really care for either movie but I see them all the time on TV and it's hard to resist such brain candy. Damn thing still chokes me up but I don't understand why. Sappy music. Christmas themes. Culkin's acting. It should add up to nothing. Bah, humbug. Merry Christmas. All that malarkey.
When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
"It Had to Be You..." ...Woody Allen
Thinking about death a lot. - "Annie Hall"
"Casablanca" references. - "Play it Again, Sam"
The girl ordering in a specific anal way in a restaurant. - "Annie Hall"
Lead female dressing in men's clothes. - "Annie Hall"
Singing with a bad unprofessional voice in public. - "Annie Hall"
Putting your name in all your books in case of a breakup. - "Annie Hall"
Calling a platonic guy friend to come over late at night. - "Annie Hall"
Split screens. Ugh. - "Annie Hall"
Trying to re-create fun times while not with your true love. - "Annie Hall"
Flashbacks of the whole story. - "Annie Hall"
Running the streets of NYC at the end. - "Manhattan"
Carrie Fisher - "Hannah and Her Sisters"
The best parts of this movie were cribbed from other better films.
Marc Maron: Too Real (2017)
There was only one clever observation, but I didn't smile even once during the entire performance. One routine about buying a hat was lousy and yet he repeated it again right after the first time. I took a chance watching this on Netflix because it had a high rating. Don't be fooled. This is a nice enough guy, around my age, but he doesn't tell any jokes. Everything is a very long, drawn-out tale from his own life I guess. Every story just crawls to a disappointing conclusion. The audience must have been all friends and family because they laughed and applauded at every damn thing this guy said. I am not sure how long Marc Maron has been doing comedy but I will never, ever attempt another one of his sets. I never heard of him before tonite and if his name ever comes up in casual conversation, I will do my best to dissuade anyone from sampling this waste of time. One star for his charisma. I only wish he knew how to be funny and write real jokes. Please keep away from this, and warn others.
Herbie Fully Loaded (2005)
Ruins the Spirit of the 60s/70s Herbie
I saw all the Herbie/Love Bug movies as a kid and they did not insult my intelligence as this one did. Believe it or not, the special effects were better in the 60s/70s films because they were not as obvious. Just seeing Herbie pull a sad "face" every time someone insulted his looks or ability to race was enough to make me want to vomit. After the "sad headlights" eyes effect was shown for the tenth time, I was tasting my breakfast rise up my throat, ready to puke it up and out.
Just as a contrast, in the 1968 Dean Jones original, Dean buys a souped up race car halfway into the movie after Herbie wins some race(s) for him first. Later that night Herbie slams the crap out of the new racer out of jealousy and contempt. It was actually kind of frightening as a youngster to see that scene where a car can "kill" if it is pushed too far, like in a horror film.
This incarnation is Herbie as a brat who pees oil on anyone who dares to question its ability to perform and win. After a third of this movie, I would have taken a blow torch to Herbie until his "sad eyes" stopped functioning. I don't care if Herbie wins the race. This is not the same love bug from almost 50 years ago. They even give Herbie a "girlfriend" car who also drives on her own. Give me a break. Avoid at all costs, unless you swallowed some poison by accident and need to throw up quickly.
Becoming Cary Grant (2017)
If you are not compelled to keep watching, then the biography is a failure. This is a steaming pile of dung. I only stuck with it because it's freaking Cary Grant. They focus on the crappiest aspects of his life. The phony narration was very off-putting. God, what a torture chamber of missteps. Avoid at all costs. The sombre music really brought the story down. What a crappy biography of one of the most iconic actors in movie history. Made me sick to finish this.
Game Changers (2016)
A Gem from a New Talent
I went into this film to support its writer, director and editor, Rob Imbs. I certainly did not know what to expect because I wanted to go in cold, with no expectations or knowledge of the plot/story. What I got was a very professional film from beginning to end with a quite engaging and entertaining story. This film, made for a mere $30K from an independent film- maker, looks like any Hollywood or Weinstein production. From the opening credits to the fun outtakes over the end credits, you would never know it wasn't made for ten times that amount. Except for the presence of unknown actors, this could pass muster at any cinema in the country, maybe the world.
The plot had me interested even though the world of gaming and fantasy playing cards are not something I know anything about. The visuals and dialogue made it pretty clear to a person like me what was going on without talking down to the audience.
We start with a story of two young boys, Bryan and Scott, who spend their adolescent years playing popular video games from 20 years ago. Their skill level is so high, they actually play nationwide with others, and they win three tournaments in the US and Bryan gets his face on magazines, alas, without Scott. Fast forward to today and they are young adults working at a tech support facility owned by Bryan's father. Bryan, frustrated and older, is now reflecting on his past glory and convinces Scott that they are wasting time gaming with friends every evening and should, instead, go back on the circuit once again. Scott reluctantly agrees and they seek out the best of the best to have a new four-man team built from scratch.
The story includes Bryan's hot, blonde, smart, co-worker girlfriend, Natalie who is tired of Bryan spending more time gaming than with her. Scott, meanwhile, who is a heavy-ish nerd with no confidence, packing a constant face full of stubble, has eyes for a new co-worker, Kim, who seems to also like flirting back at him. Also Bryan's dad, who is getting fed up with Bryan's lackadaisical attitude towards his real-life daily work duties, decides he is ready to retire and sell the company.
The writing, direction and editing is superb from Imbs. I watch a lot of films and I was floored that this was made by an old friend of mine with whom I used to discuss movies. There are a handful of references to some other classic movies from the past 40 years and it was fun to find them and count them. In short, you may never have the opportunity to see this anytime soon, but it will hold up for quite a few decades and you will just have to catch up with it. You will be amazed that this is an early effort from a new-comer who will definitely be dazzling us with his work in the future. Good luck, Rob!
Seinfeld: The Muffin Tops (1997)
Worst episode of a great show
I give this episode a try every now and then, and it still stinks as badly as the first time it aired. Every story was a loser. Jerry shaving his chest hair? It makes no sense that he would do that and then hide it from a woman he will obviously be in bed with, so she will see him naked eventually and see the stubble of new chest hair growing. Kramer has a bus for tours of the city? Nobody would pay $37.50 to see the life of a nobody. Even Peterman himself wasn't that well-known to warrant a tour. And Kramer sure got a lot of paying customers rather quickly. Elaine spends the show trying to dispose of muffin stumps? Lippman wants a Muffin Top shop so he has one up and running the next day. I don't even have to say that it's stupid and impossible that all the dumps near Manhattan would (or could) refuse them as garbage. Kramer could have tossed them on the side of any road he was on. George pretends he's an NYC tourist to get a girlfriend? So preposterous and unfunny, even before he gets traded to a chicken company in Little Rock, Arkansas for some fermented chicken drink. Ugh. The whole thing would be laughable if it wasn't so virtually free of actual laughs.
Took me THREE attempts to get through this!
I really wanted to like this. I really and truly did. It started out so well, in the bleak snow and cold of the Arctic wild. The rote and robotic teaching of young Hanna to the ways of hand-to-hand combat and her eventual mission was mesmerizing. Then the stupidity started.
I won't repeat the plot-holes I have read in other posts and reviews, but if you saw this, you know the ones I mean. What I need to mention is the Cate Blanchett tooth-hygiene scene. I don't understand why she was cleaning her teeth to the point of blood gushing from her gums, and down the the bathroom drain. To show her relentlessness to even the most mundane of daily rituals? Sigh, ho-hum. Okay, she is focused in her chores and in her job. She will get what she wants eventually, I guess.
Someone mentioned here that a lot of the action was just filler for the sake of it. I could not agree more. She and her father could dispatch all the bad guys quite handily if they wanted to, yet they sometimes run away when there is no threat other than more hand-to-hand combat, which they establish early on they have more than enough experience handling.
My only guess is they were trying to make the father and daughter more sympathetic as the film went on, and they somehow felt bad about snapping necks and throwing knives into the hearts of their unknown attackers. If they just killed off any threat right away, there wouldn't be much of a plot. So they decide to draw it out and let the weakest assailants live longer so they can be dispatched later, or not at all. Also, the ending stunk. Almost like they planned a sequel that will never happen. Here's to hoping.
Seinfeld: The Finale (1998)
I recorded it and saved it...
Although I pull this tape out about twice a year to watch, it is not perfect by any means. There are several hilarious set-pieces but as the last two seasons proved, it never returned to its cohesive best after Larry David left.
The best scenes are as follows:
-The new head of NBC played by Boone from Animal House
-The conversation deciding where to vacation anywhere in the world
-The judge's name being Arthur Vandaly
-The stand-up routine in prison over the closing credits
The worst scenes are as follows:
-George picking on the fat victim even though George is not slim either
-The fact that many past characters showed up in Latham, none were shown defending them
-George's mother offering Judge Vandaly sex to help George
-George admitting to cheating in the 'Contest' was unnecessary
However the good far outweighs the bad compared to many episodes from season eight and nine.
I had this on tape after it first aired
Before VHS came along, I used to tape the audio off the TV with a Panasonic recorder that probably cost $200 at the time. I had this on cassette tape after it first aired and listened to it over & over. But now it's long gone and I imagine it will never be resurrected. Any help from out there would be greatly appreciated! I am hoping with all the junk out on DVD that maybe this will be found. Thanks!!
This says I cannot submit this without more text, but I have no more to say. Instead I will recommend a few things off IMDb from my generation:
1) WKRP in Cincinnati 2) Miracle Mile 3) Death Weekend 4) Bugs Bunny/Road Runner cartoons
Viva Shaf Vegas (1986)
I bought the VHS tape
I had seen this when it first aired on Cinemax and I loved it, so I eventually taped it off the TV. I watched it so many times and showed it to so many friends that I eventually wore the tape out! Then when one of my local video rental stores was selling off some overstock, I was able to purchase this for $3.00, used! Well I still have that tape and I watch it a few times a year when I need a break. I think it is the funniest thing Paul Shaffer has done outside of the Letterman Show. The dark humour and biting wit was way ahead of its time back then. If you ever get a chance to see this, please do. I like it more each time I watch it. The jokes, the characters and the music are all effing great! Watch it with friends and find out who played Donna. She looks so familiar...
EDIT: Donna was played by Kimberly LaBelle (later Kates) and she played Diane on a 1990 episode of "Seinfeld" as a masseuse.
It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)
A Movie Possibly Out of Its Time
I have been watching this wonderful, amazing movie once every few years or so. It was one of the first DVDs I had to have in my collection. It is a movie of another era. As the technology of movies changes ever more rapidly, the special effects are more streamlined nowadays and the story suffers and takes a backseat. I don't care how funny some parts of 'Rat Race' or 'Million Dollar Mystery' or 'Scavenger Hunt' (see it if you can find it) are, this movie did it first. A cross-country search for a fortune (well, $350,000, anyway) awaits the lucky folks who get to the loot before the others is now a movie genre all its own. [Aside to other posters: its possessive; and it's = it is; there is no plainer way to put it.] But this was the film that did it before anyone else, crudely edited as some people say. I disagree that it was edited poorly. I think the editing achievement for its time is remarkable. There can never be such a cast of famous actors assembled these days that could cost under a million dollars because too many egos would be involved, so 'MMMMW' is a time capsule in addition to being a lot of fun. The impatient, low attention-span viewers born after 1987 or so are too hopped up on caffeine (since Starbucks has taken over worldwide) to sit and enjoy a movie that takes some thought. Yes, I said thought. If you really pay attention to the dialogue instead of just getting the gist of the exposition, you'll hear that there is more to what's being said than on the surface. I know this seems at first glance like a throwaway, goofball movie, but there is a lot of commentary about how life in middle-class America was in the early '60s. To those who find the movie repetitive and boring and long and unfunny, please give it another try. Some day when you are laid up in bed with a cold or a broken leg and you have nowhere to go in a hurry, pop this in and give it a second chance. The secret to enjoying it is to have the time available to watch it, without your cell phone or pager going off and without thinking about the film's running time. After reading the negative comments here, I felt obliged to stick up for this raucous, side-splitting film that you shouldn't have to struggle to watch. Let it wash over to you, like the event that it is. If you don't have three hours to devote to its viewing, go watch 'My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding' instead. It's half as long. In these modern times, it is nearly impossible to keep your thoughts focused on something like a silly movie without your mind bouncing synapses off the inside of your skull to distraction. But you have to remember that this movie was made forty years ago when there wasn't as much need to worry and plan and react to that which is not immediately in front of you. As I said earlier, if you project yourself back in time to when life was a bit simpler and the world was slightly less complicated, you will laugh. It is now especially when we most seem to really need it.
Hollywood Ending (2002)
Poor Woody Allen. He still feels that he has to churn out a picture every year whether or not it's any good. This one had promise, but it badly needed a polishing. The main plot points are repeated over and over for no reason except that it is Woody who is repeating them, making it seem like he has Alzheimer's or something. Also, there's an ongoing gag that has Woody (temporarily blinded) not able to know where a person is when he is talking to them. You see, he is pretending to be able to see in front of most of the characters because he will lose his job is he's found out. So he is always looking off to one side. This goes on many more times than is actually funny and it's not realistic. He should still be able to look at where someone's voice is coming from and face their general direction, I would think. It feels like Woody actually directed this wearing a blindfold because most of the 'sight gags' are poorly executed and Woody is not too swift at conveying physical humor. I did like his Oscar appearance last month though. He still has it in him to be funny. I also liked that they filmed some scenes at the Carlyle, where Woody plays clarinet on Mondays. Someone should have had to guts to challenge him on a few of his other choices, though. He's got to grow up! Yeah, I'm being rough. But you can take it, Woody. Woooody! No one's out to get you Mr. Paranoid. Let's see you out on the town a bit, huh? And someplace besides Elaine's, too, okay? Alriiiiight, there's the Woodman I know and love. Get outta here, Woody!