"Ah! My Goddess: Bad Goddess The Anime Video Comic" The Dragon Eye Serial: Sayoko at the Goblin Feast (TV Episode 2017) Poster


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Warwick Davis: No, please, come back! Don't cross the Border! You'll kill us all!


Welsper The Demon Child: No... please don't do it, Marller... you cannot run away from these people.

Mara Marller: But what the fuck do you care about these people? This is our chance to get away and make our escape! We'll just find a safe spot, draw out a time travel spell and go home!

Welsper The Demon Child: If you cross the border, you'll kill us all. Can't you see that we're trapped here?

Mara Marller: And what do you want us to do about it? The Dragon Eye is their problem, not ours! That Public Access Time Lord impersonator is more than capable of handling this situation himself! We've all seen him do it before!

Welsper The Demon Child: Marller, The Dragon Eye is everyone's problem... He already KNOWS about the Time Lord. His entire evil plan is BASED ON IT... he performed a spell to bring Doctor What here because he needs the Tardis to escape the time warp! He kidnapped Keiichi's ancestor and me because he knew you couldn't leave us here without erasing Keiichi and Belldandy from existence. You were all sent here to stop him for a reason. It's part of your timeline. It always was. If you leave now, it will unmake everything that you did and there won't be a future to go home to. Well, I guess it makes perfect sense that my spinoff would end us being a musical horror comedy.

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Sayoko Mishima: Doctor, how are we going to get out of this one? They said this place only exists for 24 hours, then it disappears. That means we're going to disappear with it.

Doctor What: No, you're looking at this from the wrong point of view. The town only disappears from the perspective of the visitors in the region. From our point of view, it simply jumps 100 years every 24 hours, and the day repeates itself over and over again like Groundhogs Day.

Sayoko Mishima: But shouldn't that mean that we could just stay put and wake up in the future within a week or so.

Doctor What: We don't have that kind of time. You don't have that kind of time. Besides the Goblin Feast sacrifice, we have to get Welsper and Keiichi's Ancestor out of the time loop, or Keiichi Morisato's bloodline won't exist anymore.

Sayoko Mishima: I don't understand. Keiichi did exist in our timeline. Doesn't that mean that we succeeded.

Doctor What: Yes, that is what gives me hope right now, but that hope can only last for so long. If we don't meet this halfway, the moment will be lost forever. The timeline will become so fucked that we might even get erased from existence.

Sayoko Mishima: Doctor What... The Dragon Eye is coming for me... I can feel myself fading away into the Darkness! DOCTOR!

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Doctor What: Hang on... I'm coming for you! Shit. I forgot I had Skuld's Cicret Bracelet. Skuld, can you hear me? We're in trouble. SKULD! SKULD! CAN YOU HEAR ME? I KNOW YOU LIVED THROUGH THIS CENTURY!

Skuld: That's weird... when most people pray to me, it's blind faith... this guy sounds like he's actually met me... Hello... Who is this...?

Doctor What: No, not Who... What. Doctor What. I'm everybody's favorite Public Access Time Lord.

Skuld: No, not Who... What. Doctor What. I'm everybody's favorite Public Access Time Lord.

Urd: Skuld, are you hearing voices again? You know if you don't learn to drown out peoples' prayers, it'll drive you crazy...

Skuld: Yeah, but... this weird guy appears to be an Actual Time Lord. THAT shouldn't be possible...

Urd: Oh, sure it is... and someday hundreds of years from now, a bunch of idiots in Japan are going to start dressing up like us. And from the 1990s onward, we'll never hear the end about something called Ah My Goddess... isn't that what you've been telling me?

Doctor What: Look, I know how all this works... I know that you can hear me in your thoughts through Yggdrasil's Prayer System. I know you haven't met me yet, but I need your help.

Skuld: Wait a minute... this ISN'T from Ah! My Goddess... This is from a later series that accidentally happened after our show got cancelled.

Urd: Oh, so now Ah! My Goddess gets Cancelled... What are your delusional future visions telling you this time.

Skuld: Somewhere around the year 2017, a Bootlegger that worked on Public Access in Austin, Texas stole Kosuke Fujishima's TV show. And he tried to turn it into a borderline R-Rated satire like South Park meets Doctor Who. It was really weird, too... he changed all of our personalities and had us using extreme foul language and dirty sex humor. I don't think I've ever heard Belldandy say the F-Word before Bad Goddess came into existence. They also deviated from the Manga when they tried to make my Doublet a Gay Porn Star that impersonates Doctor Who. Wait... I don't believe it... I think I know who this guy is now... But... that can't be... it shouldn't be possible...

Urd: Wait... never mind that... go back to the part again where you just said your Doublet was a Gay Porn Star that plays Doctor Who.

Skuld: Urd, I'm not making this up... in the Bad Goddess universe, my Doublet IS a Gay Porn Star that impersonates Doctor Who.

Urd: I'm sorry... just... one more time, please. Just one more time...

Skuld: My Doublet is a Gay Porn Star that impersonates Doctor Who on Public Access... and before that... he was an actor named Charlie Day... and going back even further than that... he was a film director named Lloyd Kaufman... he was almost actor Sean Gunn... but then they FIRED him thirty minutes into the movie in favor of the Gay Porn Star.

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Doctor What: Look Kid, somebody very important to me is about to be killed, and I'm trapped in this cell. I need you to pinpoint my position so Yggdrasil can unlock the door.

Skuld: Whoever you are, I'm sorry, but we don't have the kind of technology to do that right now.

Doctor What: But you're not thinking outside the box. You're just going to have to remember to make it someday.

Skuld: I'm confused. I don't design the technology that we use. How did you hack into our system?

Doctor What: Look, I know this sounds stupid and confusing from your point of view... but look at this from a time traveller's standpoint. If you go to school, and you learn how to do these things, then the you from the future would have the ability to unlock these doors.

Skuld: But I'm not me from the future. I don't know what you're talking about.

Doctor What: I need you to make a note, that will stay in the records for hundreds of years. I need you to find that note someday when you meet me. What I really need right now... what I really wish... is that I could just open all the doors. No more locks. No more closed spaces. And no more closed doors. No more.

Skuld: Is that really your wish?

Doctor What: You're goddamn fucking right it is.

SIRI: Welcome to Locksmith. Your very own digital skeleton key, in the palm of your hand. We are more than happy to assist you. Just touch the lock, and the doors will open.

Doctor What: OPEN SESAME!

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Richard O'Brien: Come forth, little Goblins. Give us one more day, just one more jump into the future.

Sayoko Mishima: You're not going to win this one! Even if you killed me, the Doctor would find a way to come back for me! If Doctor What was able to save Skuld after she was murdered by a Drunk Driver, it stands to reason he'd find a way to bring me back!

Richard O'Brien: I'm afraid you've been preaching to the choir, sister... you might want to tell that to your friend, Mr Nilbog.

Sayoko Mishima: That's funny... I don't recall Mr Nilbog being that... BIG? Now... Mr Nilbog... Sweetie... Can't we talk about this?

Warwick Davis: What did I tell you? Any good deed pays off with a little hard work and determination.

Sayoko Mishima: ...HELP?

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Sayoko Mishima: Mr Nilbog! That's a bad, bad Mr Nilbog! We don't eat mommy for dinner!

Martial Artist: YO, GOBLIN FUCK-HEADS! Why don't you Ugly Cocksuckers pick on somebody your own size!

Sayoko Mishima: Oh, Thank God for You People! You showed up right on time! They almost skewered me like a barbequed pig! Wait a minute. Who the hell are you anyways?

Actress: Who are we? We are...

Martial Artist: ...THOSE WHO HUNT ELVES.

Sayoko Mishima: Those Who Hunt Elves?

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