As the Battle of the Bulge rages on, an American tank unit gets trapped behind Nazi lines. With just hours before the bombs of Operation Ardennes Fury fall, the tank's commander makes the risky decision to rescue an orphanage.
When giant monsters crawl out of the Atlantic Ocean and attack the Eastern Seaboard the US Government is forced to trust a trio of mischievous soldiers, specialized in piloting gigantic robots, to defend America.
Anthony 'Treach' Criss,
Three companies of paratroopers travel in a deadly mission to France to prepare the drop zone for the airborne attack on the D-Day. They have to install an Eureka transmitter and searchlight to guide the planes in the Normandy invasion.
Curt A. Sindelar
Michael Conner Humphreys,
Philip De Lorenzo
As the Nazis engage their Battle of the Bulge campaign, in late 1944, an American tank unit gets trapped behind enemy lines. The Allies' Operation Ardennes Fury is about to commence when the tank's commander moves to rescue innocent children and nuns from a nearby orphanage.Written by
I'm not usually one to pick on small details or historical inaccuracy, but this was too much. Having wasted 90 minutes of my life, the least I could do now is help spare someone else from the same fate.
A point form summary of why/how this film is awful, in the order I noticed them when I was watching it.
the fireballs from when tanks fire at each other are glaringly obviously CGI animations and look completely unrealistic
the soldiers shoot at each other while standing in front of their respective tanks, while those tanks fire at each other
the Germans are unbelievably dumb and also can't shoot for their life (literally). They're also apparently using Soviet T-34 tanks.
the Germans also speak English. To each other. They may throw in occasional German words, like "Ja, officer" or "Granate". You know, German phrases easily understood by a typical American audience. It's ridiculous. And it occurs repeatedly, constantly reminding you of how absurd this film is.
when three German soldiers (one an officer with an STG assault rifle) see two Americans carrying small tanks of fuel, they prefer to run after the Americans while firing single shots (and missing all of them) instead of just stopping to get a clear shot at the enemy. Oh, did I mention the two groups were running about 5 meters apart?
when kids head loud sounds, they may or may not randomly run away from the protection of their parents and friendly soldiers, out into the woods, getting themselves killed/captured
if a sniper shoots directly at an American in an open field, the bullet somehow manages to ricochet off his helmet.
killing several German fire teams is no sweat, but when you meet another in your way, the Americans decide that the 4 guys standing out in an open road is suddenly too much for them to take.
sneaking around four guys on a road by going around through the forest apparently takes an extra 20 minutes, making that a non-option
Here's the last and arguably most laughable part. I'd almost suggest you get the movie simply for this part simply because of it near- comedic aspect.
hitting someone's head with a small MP40 submachine gun will cause their head to become a pile of gory god knows what. I couldn't even see a face. It looked like the guy's head disappeared and there was some scattered mass blood, brains, and whatever else what where his head used to be. That's the result of an injured man hitting another man with a small metal object 3 times.
That's all I can remember off the top of my head, but there's undoubtedly so much more.
34 of 38 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?
| Report this