Joffrey and Margaery's wedding has come. Tyrion breaks up with Shae. Ramsay tries to prove his worth to his father. Bran and company find a Weirwood tree.
Sansa still hasn't recovered from the death of her family and refuses to eat despite Tyrion's requests that she do so. She receives a gift from an unexpected source. It's time for the royal wedding and King Joffrey is on his worst behavior with Tyrion the object of his dislike. He adores the sword given to him by his grandfather but uses it to chop up a book given to him by Tyrion. At the reception after the wedding ceremony, a drunken Joffrey ridicules his uncle and orders him to become his cup bearer. Tyrion does as he's told but Joffrey gets his comeuppance. Meanwhile, Lord Bolton returns home to find what his bastard son did to Theon Greyjoy.
In Dragonstone, Melisandre sacrifices three men that are tied to stakes and offered to the Lord of Light. Roose returns to Dreadfort and finds that Ramsey has tortured and flayed Theon and he is furious with his bastard. At King's Landing, King Joffrey humiliates Tyrion during the feast. Out of the blue, he is poisoned and the guards arrest Tyrion, accused by Cersei of poisoning Joffrey.
- "Game of Thrones" - "The Lion and the Rose' - April 13, 2014
Ramsey Snow, Theon, and Ramsey's girlfriend hunt a young human girl with dogs. Her crime was that she thought she was pretty, which offended Ramsey's girl Miranda. She is shot with an arrow and the dogs bark viciously around her. Ramsey lets the dogs rip her apart. Theon watches with disgust. Miranda notes the girl is not very pretty now.
Tyrion and Jaime eat, well Tyrion does. Jaime isn't hungry. Tyrion toasts the proud Lannister children: the dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness. Tyrion compliments Jaime's hand which he promptly uses to knock over a goblet of wine. Jaime worries he can't fight. Tyrion tells him he must train then. Jaime worries someone will discover. Tyrion says he has a discreet swordsman for him. Bronn meets him at a secluded spot by the water and they begin to train so Jaime can get his skills strong with his left hand. Bronn gets right to it and doesn't hold back.
A group of men rides toward a castle. It's Roose Bolton returned home. Bolton asks after Theon and says he'll have a look at him. Bolton's man reminisces about cutting off Jaime's hand with Ramsey.
Ramsey presents the severely shell-shocked Theon, who is now called Reek. (He flayed him and cut off his penis.) Bolton is annoyed his bastard son did these things with a bargaining chip. Ramsey said he already offered to trade him and Bailon Greyjoy refused. Ramsey said Bolton put him in charge. Bolton says he needed Theon. Ramsey says Theon was their enemy but Reek will never betray him. Bolton thinks he places much too much trust in Ramsey and Ramsey in Theon.
Ramsey asks Theon to shave him with a straight razor. This makes Bolton nervous but Ramsey taunts him maliciously and Theon never moves to slit his throat. He is tamed. Theon explains that he didn't kill Bran and Rickon but two farm boys and he knows the Stark boys are out there. Ramsey thinks the country will rally to their side now that Robb Stark is gone. Theon is sad to hear the news of Robb but again the razor stays steady. Bolton tells his main man to go find Bran and Rickon. Theon tells them to check Castle Black and Jon Snow. Bolton says if he wants to prove himself he should go conquer a strategic moat for him.
Varys tells Tyrion that Shae has been discovered and they have to get rid of her. He says he has friends across the sea who can help. Tyrion says she's been told it's dangerous so often she no longer believes it.
There is a fancy rehearsal-type dinner where people present gifts to Joffrey including his future father-in-law. Cersei tells Tywin about Shae. Tywin says he will kill her. Tyrion catches the drift of this exchange. Tyrion gives Joffrey an important book. He seems unimpressed but Tywin shoots him a look and Joffrey thanks Tyrion. Tywin gives Joffrey the other Valyrian steel sword he had forged along with Jaime's. Joffrey promptly starts whacking the table with it, slicing Tyrion's book to pieces in the process. He tries to think of a name and reminisces about beheading Ned Stark much to Sansa's dismay.
Shae comes to Tyrion and he brutally pushes her away, is mean to her so she'll want to leave. He says he needs to do right by Sansa. She says she is not afraid of Tywin and Cersei. He calls her a whore and is mean to her. He gives her money and tells her that across the Narrow Sea she'll have a house and servants. She cries and he has her taken out forcibly by Bronn who she slaps. He, understanding, takes the slap.
Crazy Melisandre burns alive several people, one of whom is the brother of Stannis' wife, the queen. She thinks their souls have been claimed and seems very happy. Melisandre is hardcore. She's giving an offering to the Gods. Davos is worried that Stannis killed his brother-in-law. Stannis says he was an infidel who refused to tear down his false idols. Stannis threatens Davos for challenging him. Stannis, the queen, and Melisandre eat. The larders are almost empty. Times are getting rough. The queen reminisces about another time they were poor and ate grilled seagull. The queen worries about their "stubborn" and sinful daughter. Stannis says to not to strike her. The queen suggests that Melisandre speak to her.
Melisandre goes to see the princess in her room. She says she heard the ceremony on the beach and is sad about her uncle and the screaming. The princess is not afraid of her. Melisandre says she was like the princess when she was young. They talk about the Gods. Melisandre says the books she's read of Gods are lies and that there are no seven gods, heavens, and hells. There are only two gods and one hell, the one they live in now.
Bran wakes from a Warg-sleep. Jojen says it's dangerous to spend so much time in his direwolf's body. He says he knows it must be glorious to run, leap, hunt and be whole, but Bran could get trapped in his direwolf and forget what it is to be human and forget all his memories of Winterfell and himself. Meera says if they lose him they lose everything. They come upon a large tree with a face in it and red leaves like the one at Winterfell. He touches the bark and has flashes of visions: the three eyed raven, his dad, and hears a voice that says "look for me beneath the tree." He feels himself fall again out of the window. The voice says "North." He breaks contact and says "I know where we have to go."
Margaery and Joffrey are wed. Sansa grouses to Tyrion, "We have a new queen." He points out, "Better her than you."
Tywin and Olenna chat after the wedding. He grouses about how much the wedding cost. She points out she's paying her share. They chat about the cost of the war and the Iron Bank. She grabs his arm and says they should celebrate young love.
The reception is in full swing with firebreathers and entertainment. Bronn assures Tyrion that Shae is gone and safe and tells him to go drink until it feels like he did the right thing.
Musicians play for Joffrey. He throws money at them and chases them off.
Margaery stands and says she and Joffrey have decided to give the wedding leftovers to the poor people of the city. Big cheers.
Oberyn makes eyes at Loras Tyrell across the way. Loras bumps into Jaime who asks if he's looking forward to his wedding to Cersei. He says if he manages to marry Cersei she will murder him and any children they have in their sleep. But this will never happen because Loras will never marry Cersei. Loras points out that neither will Jaime.
Brienne bows before the king and queen and wishes them good fortune and hopes his reign is long and peaceful. Cersei mocks her for bowing instead of curtsying. She approaches her and tells her she's a lady whether she likes it or not. She thanks Brienne for helping Jaime get back safe. Brienne points out that he saved her a few times as well. Cersei says she hasn't heard that story. Brienne says it's not such a fascinating story. Cersei narrows her eyes and sweetly says with dripping acid that it must be nice to flit from camp to camp-- Renley to Catelyn to Jaime- and serve. Brienne says she doesn't serve Jaime. But, says Cersei, "you love him." Brienne looks nervous and bows away. Cersei shoots a look at Jaime. It's clear she's jealous that any other woman has spent time with him no matter how platonic.
Cersei goes and yells at Pycell and tells him to not give to the leftovers to the poor but to the kennels. Pycell tries to argue that it was the queen's wishes. Cersei asserts she is the queen and she is giving him an order.
A man juggles for Margaery and Joffrey and he has people throw food at him.
Cersei and Tywin chat up Oberyn Martell and Illaria. They have a very acidic back and forth with Cersei insulting Ilaria because she's a bastard-- which is more common and not as shameful in Dorne-- and Oberyn continually needling her by calling her the "former Queen Regent" and Lady Cersei and reminds her that her daughter was shipped off to Dorne.
Joffrey stands up and complains a royal wedding isn't amusement , it's about history. Then he said he came up with a special treat. And a big lion's mouth opens and a bunch of dwarves pour out, dressed up like different members of the families who fought in the war-- Joffrey, Stannis, Renley, Balon, Robb Stark-- fighting comically to the death. Sansa has to watch her "brother" die as everyone laughs and shouts. It's all very horrible and humiliating. And of course "Joffrey" wins and then pretends to defile Robb's 'wolf" head. Tyrion calls Pod over and whispers to him to pay each dwarf 20 in gold when this is done and he'll have to find a way to thank the king later.
The show ends and then Joffrey insultingly invites Tyrion to fight with the dwarves. Tyrion say he did his fighting in the war and he'd like to keep the rest of his face. He then ill-advisedly mocks Joffrey and says he should get in there with his new sword and show everyone how a true king wins his throne. Joffrey decides to put him in his place by pouring his wine on Tyrion's head. He then tells him he wants Tyrion to be his "cup bearer." Tyrion calls it an honor. Joffrey says it's not meant as an honor. Tyrion comes to retrieve the cup and Joffrey drops and kicks it, embarrassing him in front of everyone. Sansa picks it up. Tyrion fills it with wine. Joffrey demands that Tyrion kneel. Tyrion refuses, and the two engage in a tense staring contest. Then Margaery distracts everyone and breaks the tension by noting the huge wedding pie has arrived. Joffrey whacks it with his sword and doves fly out, or at least the ones he didn't kill who are now bleeding into the pie.
He and Margaery have pie and Joffrey notices Tyrion leaving to change out of his wet clothes. Joffrey says he's fine the way he is and tells him to give him his wine. Angrily, Tyrion picks up the goblet from the banquet table and hands it to his nephew. Joffrey drinks from it, and promptly -- well, not promptly enough -- dies. Horribly. He points out Tyrion with his last breath. Cersei loses her mind. Guards seize Tyrion. A man, the fool who was saved by Sansa, grabs Sansa's arm in the confusion and spirits her away, saying she has to leave now.