Neighbors (I) (2014)
Pete: He puts his dick in your mouth while you were asleep, bitch!
Assjuice: Uh-uh, I wasn't asleep.
Pete: Do you think maybe we've gone too far? I'm a child of divorce and I sympathize with them.
Teddy Sanders: My parents love each other, and I think it's hilarious.
Teddy Sanders: We're throwing a Robert De Niro party.
Pete: You call the cops, you violate the circle of trust, Focker.
Mac Radner: Who are you?
Garf: I'm Sam Jackson from Jackie Brown.
Scoonie: [pause] Hoah!
Kelly Radner: That's actually Al Pacino.
Garf: The Path of the righteous man.
Mac Radner: That's the wrong Sam Jackson speech.
Teddy Sanders: You make the store more approachable.
Mac Radner: Like, I'm more of an attainable goal?
Teddy Sanders: Yeah, you're like Relaxed Fit.
Pete: Bros before hoes
Pete: Junk before Trunk
Teddy Sanders: Balls before dolls
Pete: Padres before I sleep with two Madres
Teddy Sanders: Brad Pitt before Grab Glit
Pete: These nuts before skinny sl***
Teddy Sanders: M********* before ask her to date
Pete: Beef stew before watching The View
Teddy Sanders: Male erection before One Direction
Pete: Mario and Luigi before Thelma and Laweezie
Teddy Sanders: Bert and Ernie before Squirt and Spermy
Pete: Man purses before regular purses
Teddy Sanders: Sports before genital warts
Pete: John Madden before Jasmine from Aladdin
Officer Watkins: You called about your neighbors?
Mac Radner: No.
Officer Watkins: We have caller ID, we're cops, everybody has caller ID.
Assjuice: Do you know how many bj's they promised me?
Assjuice: Infinite bj's. They promised me infinite bj's
Mac Radner: I'll call my mother she'll know what to do.
Kelly Radner: Do not call your mother! Jesus, you Jews and your fucking mothers!