Office Christmas Party (2016) Poster

Vanessa Bayer: Allison



  • Josh Parker : Hey, Allison! Is Clay in there?

    Allison : [Talking on the phone to her ex-husband]  You fucking motherfucker! If I hear you let your stripper girlfriend put my children on her motorcycle one more time, I will Gone Girl you so hard.

    [covers the phone and smiles at Josh] 

    Allison : Hey, Josh! You can go right in!

  • Fred : Mummy! I mean, Allison. Don't leave.

    Allison : Save that shit for the fourth date like a normal person!

  • Drew : [speaking with a British accent]  The English band, the Arctic Monkeys? You were supposed to see them with your friend Lindsey, you were like, "I can't go," because you couldn't get a babysitter?

    Allison : Did you hack into my emails? Get the fuck out of here! And never use that British accent again!

    [Drew leaves] 

    Nate : [sees her, stops]  Allison, are you okay?

    Allison : No! I'm not okay. My ex-husband is dating a stripper, Drew is cyberstalking me, and Fred from accounting is like a human fucking AMBER Alert. Don't I deserve to date someone who is nice?

    Nate : Of course you do. Allison, you're an amazing person. You basically take care of this whole office. And you do it every day, even though most people don't seem to notice. So, yeah, you deserve someone nice.

See also

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