Lois Lane : [sees Oliver and Chloe] Hey guys! Come here. Sit with us.
Clark Kent : [speaking to Chloe] Quiet weekend at home, huh?
Chloe Sullivan : Trust me, we had no idea the two of you would be here.
Lois Lane : And we had no idea there was even a "you two," which I think is perfect. I think fate has brought us together.
Oliver Queen : Well it's ah...
[everyone exchanges awkward looks]
Oliver Queen : It's a little less fate, actually.
Chloe Sullivan : More fame.
Oliver Queen : [agreeing with Chloe] Fame.
Chloe Sullivan : This is so far off the beaten path that even the society pages couldn't find Star City's most eligible bachelor here.
Lois Lane : You mean *ex-bachelor*.
Chloe Sullivan : Okay, enough about that. How did you guys manage to find the road less traveled?
Clark Kent : Well, I found their brochure at the apartment. I figured Lois wanted to come here.
Lois Lane : What brochure?
Chloe Sullivan : That wasn't Lois' brochure, Clark. That was mine.
[awkward looks are again exchanged]
Clark Kent : How was I supposed to know that Oliver...?
Chloe Sullivan : You weren't. That's the point.
Oliver Queen : [Clark looks over at Oliver for help] Oh, don't look at me. I learned long ago not to assume what belongs to who in that apartment. You gotta use context clues.
Lois Lane : Yeah, speaking of clues let's talk about Mr. Green, in the bedroom, with my cousin.
Oliver Queen : There it is.
Clark Kent : Lois, I think they came here for brunch.
Lois Lane : Good point.
[smiles some what threateningly at Chloe]
Lois Lane : Look Chloe, there's food.
Chloe Sullivan : [Lois grabs Chloe by the arm and drags her outside] Woah!
Oliver Queen : [Clark and Oliver are at a loss for words] There's little jellies.
Clark Kent : [singing in the shower] I can't tell you, Lois.
[Chloe, possessed by the Silver Banshee enters, wearing only a towel. Clark throws back the shower curtain]
Clark Kent : Chloe?
[quickly wraps himself up in the shower curtain]
Clark Kent : What are you doing in here?
Chloe Sullivan : Well, I thought I would join you.
[drops her towel]
Clark Kent : [instantly averts his eyes] Yeah, I can see that.
[grabs a towel]
Clark Kent : At least, I'm trying not to see that. Um... you know, I'm done here, so the shower is yours.
[grabs another towel and tries to cover Chloe up with out actually looking at her]
Clark Kent : Chloe, how much wine did you have to drink at dinner?
Chloe Sullivan : Why? You wanna share another bottle?
[moves in very close to Clark forcing him to drop his towel]
Chloe Sullivan : Or we could just go for a moonlit walk in the woods.
Clark Kent : I don't think that Oliver would appreciate it.
Lois Lane : [Lois enters the bathroom dressed up like a scottish lass complete with kilt and is holding a bottle of bubble bath] Okay I just...
Clark Kent : [shocked at Lois' attire yet completely entagled with a naked Chloe] Lois?
Lois Lane : Oh, my God.
Clark Kent : I can explain this, sort of.
[tries to get free from Chloe but she won't let him go]
Clark Kent : Chloe?
Lois Lane : Shh. You do that. Try to explain it over breakfast maybe next century.
[looks her bubble bath]
Lois Lane : This, I won't be needing.
[hands it to Chloe and as their hands touch the Silver Banshee transfers to Lois and leaves the room]
Clark Kent : Lois?
Clark Kent : [Chloe faints and Clark catches her] Chloe. Chloe? Chloe?
Chloe Sullivan : [Chloe wakes up and realizes they are both naked] Clark? What are you doing?
Clark Kent : What are *you* doing?
Chloe Sullivan : Where are my clothes?
Clark Kent : I don't know.
Chloe Sullivan : What's going on?
[shoves the bubble bath into Clark's hands and runs out of the room]
Maggie McDougal : [after Lois accidentally scratches a painting] If you ask me, great-great-great-uncle Bevan had it coming.
Lois Lane : So, what did he do to deserve getting his face scratched off?
Maggie McDougal : Usurped his sister Siobhan's birthright, took her crown and castle, and then killed her.
Lois Lane : For a country that prides itself on men wearing skirts, you'd think they'd be a little more progressive than that.
Chloe Sullivan : Oliver and I are not a couple.
Lois Lane : Okay, sure. Then what are you?
Chloe Sullivan : We're having fun. And we're not complicating things by using labels and definitions.
Lois Lane : This is a relationship, Chloe, not a spelling bee.
Chloe Sullivan : Look, I'm glad that you have found someone that makes you happy, but we're not all cut out for coupledom. And with Ollie, I don't have to worry about that, okay? We're no flowers. We're no presents, no pressure, no strings.
[Lois opens her mouth]
Chloe Sullivan : And with you, we're no comment.
Lois Lane : I know it's called a bed and breakfast, but missing dinner is a definite bust. I'm starving. And I already ate the granola bar that's been at the bottom of my bag since... I don't know when.
Clark Kent : Lois, we wouldn't be late if we hadn't driven 40 miles out of our way to see the world's largest ball of yarn.
Lois Lane : You'll thank me later.
Lois Lane : [surprised to see Chloe and Oliver at the same B&B] Twist.
Lois Lane : [returning to the Talon] Well, as incredible as that R&R attempt was, I think we should skip the old B&Bs for a while.
Clark Kent : Lois, for our first weekend away together, it could have been worse.
Lois Lane : I was possessed by a 300 year old Scottish banshee and I almost killed you, Clark.
Clark Kent : But we did get to see the world's largest ball of yarn. That made the whole trip worthwhile.
Lois Lane : All thanks to my stellar sense of direction. Let's face it, Clark, without me, you'd still be lost.
Zod : [calling on the encrypted phone Clark uses as the Blur] Hello, Lois.
Lois Lane : It's you. I was wondering, hoping, that you'd call again.
Zod : I need your help.
Lois Lane : Anything.
Zod : I need you to get information on Tess Mercer.
Lois Lane : Well, you've come to the right girl. Just give me the question. I'll find you an answer. No matter what it takes, I'll do it. I wanna help. I will get you the information you need.
Zod : But you can't tell anyone about it. Promise me you won't.
Lois Lane : [glancing at Clark] I promise.
Zod : I wouldn't ask, Lois, if it weren't a matter of life or death.
Lois Lane : [her phone buzzes while she and Clark kiss] Just let it go to voicemail.
Clark Kent : Yeah, well, um, why don't you answer it, Lois? What if it's important?
Lois Lane : Okay. A little privacy, please?
Clark Kent : Just pretend I'm not here.
Lois Lane : I can't do that.
Clark Kent : Well, I guess I'll just have to get used to sharing you with the world.
Oliver Queen : Who told Chloe to go walk in the woods, anyway? Was it Hansel and Gretel, do you suppose?
Silver Banshee : It's not much farther.
Oliver Queen : Well, I hope she left a trail of breadcrumbs, 'cause if she didn't, we might never find our way out of here.
Silver Banshee : Oh, I'll be leaving these woods.
[pushing him up against a tree]
Silver Banshee : But you won't.
Oliver Queen : Well, Lois... you got any bagpipes to go with that outfit there, lassie? That means you guys are having a little fun. It's cute. Uh, listen, I-I'm looking for Chloe. She took a walk a while ago, she hasn't returned, and I'm getting a little worried about her.
Silver Banshee : I was just with her, actually.
Oliver Queen : You were? Okay.
Oliver Queen : Oh, right. Yeah, okay. So, just lay it on me.
Silver Banshee : Why don't I take you to see Chloe instead? You will never win a woman's heart by waiting for her to come to you.
Maggie McDougal : According to legend, Siobhan felt so robbed of her life on earth, she wanted to return from the underworld and live again. She was granted her wish, at a price. Since she was betrayed by a man, she was cursed to kill men. Any that crossed her path.
Lois Lane : Oh, murder, misogyny, and mayhem. I can see why you left that out of the brochure.
Maggie McDougal : How about a cup of tea while you wait for your boyfriend?
Lois Lane : [glancing at a couple nearby necking] How about... we just take Mr. and Mrs. PDA's room, because, you know, they obviously don't need it?
Maggie McDougal : [nervously] Um...
Lois Lane : Just kidding.
Maggie McDougal : Oh.
Lois Lane : I'll go check on Clark. He is used to baling hay, but I'm sure he's just bailing buckets to stay afloat.
Maggie McDougal : Yes, can I help you?
Lois Lane : Hey.
Clark Kent : Sorry about that. Uh, we're late. The reservation's under Kent.
Maggie McDougal : Oh, I apologize, but thanks to the storm, the room you reserved sprang a leak. I tried to call, but the line wouldn't connect. Cell reception is horrible around here.
Clark Kent : [Lois subtly hits him] Well, that's f-fine. We'll, um, take any room that you have available.
Maggie McDougal : Uh, there... isn't one. Before I realized the pipe had burst, I gave the last room away.
Lois Lane : Okay, well, um...
[checking the sign-in log]
Lois Lane : ...let's, uh, hope that, uh, Mr. and Mrs. Green didn't quite finish unpacking, because the only inn they're gonna be staying at is called Holiday.
Lois Lane : Ah, perfect timing. Articles are in, phone calls have been returned, and I am officially ready for our magical mystery weekend.
Clark Kent : That's great, so let's escape before Randall sends you on an assignment. Where's your bag?
Lois Lane : Well, since you insisted on being a man of secrets, I had to cover all my bases.
[showing him three different suitcases]
Lois Lane : There's a snow angel, surfer girl, city chic.
Clark Kent : How about countryside bed and breakfast?
Lois Lane : Good choice. But since I'm assuming you don't mean the French countryside...
Clark Kent : No. It's kind of Scottish. Some place called the McDougal Inn.