Lois Lane : [sees Oliver and Chloe] Hey guys! Come here. Sit with us.
Clark Kent : [speaking to Chloe] Quiet weekend at home, huh?
Chloe Sullivan : Trust me, we had no idea the two of you would be here.
Lois Lane : And we had no idea there was even a "you two," which I think is perfect. I think fate has brought us together.
Oliver Queen : Well it's ah...
[everyone exchanges awkward looks]
Oliver Queen : It's a little less fate, actually.
Chloe Sullivan : More fame.
Oliver Queen : [agreeing with Chloe] Fame.
Chloe Sullivan : This is so far off the beaten path that even the society pages couldn't find Star City's most eligible bachelor here.
Lois Lane : You mean *ex-bachelor*.
Chloe Sullivan : Okay, enough about that. How did you guys manage to find the road less traveled?
Clark Kent : Well, I found their brochure at the apartment. I figured Lois wanted to come here.
Lois Lane : What brochure?
Chloe Sullivan : That wasn't Lois' brochure, Clark. That was mine.
[awkward looks are again exchanged]
Clark Kent : How was I supposed to know that Oliver...?
Chloe Sullivan : You weren't. That's the point.
Oliver Queen : [Clark looks over at Oliver for help] Oh, don't look at me. I learned long ago not to assume what belongs to who in that apartment. You gotta use context clues.
Lois Lane : Yeah, speaking of clues let's talk about Mr. Green, in the bedroom, with my cousin.
Oliver Queen : There it is.
Clark Kent : Lois, I think they came here for brunch.
Lois Lane : Good point.
[smiles some what threateningly at Chloe]
Lois Lane : Look Chloe, there's food.
Chloe Sullivan : [Lois grabs Chloe by the arm and drags her outside] Woah!
Oliver Queen : [Clark and Oliver are at a loss for words] There's little jellies.
Clark Kent : [singing in the shower] I can't tell you, Lois.
[Chloe, possessed by the Silver Banshee enters, wearing only a towel. Clark throws back the shower curtain]
Clark Kent : Chloe?
[quickly wraps himself up in the shower curtain]
Clark Kent : What are you doing in here?
Chloe Sullivan : Well, I thought I would join you.
[drops her towel]
Clark Kent : [instantly averts his eyes] Yeah, I can see that.
[grabs a towel]
Clark Kent : At least, I'm trying not to see that. Um... you know, I'm done here, so the shower is yours.
[grabs another towel and tries to cover Chloe up with out actually looking at her]
Clark Kent : Chloe, how much wine did you have to drink at dinner?
Chloe Sullivan : Why? You wanna share another bottle?
[moves in very close to Clark forcing him to drop his towel]
Chloe Sullivan : Or we could just go for a moonlit walk in the woods.
Clark Kent : I don't think that Oliver would appreciate it.
Lois Lane : [Lois enters the bathroom dressed up like a scottish lass complete with kilt and is holding a bottle of bubble bath] Okay I just...
Clark Kent : [shocked at Lois' attire yet completely entagled with a naked Chloe] Lois?
Lois Lane : Oh, my God.
Clark Kent : I can explain this, sort of.
[tries to get free from Chloe but she won't let him go]
Clark Kent : Chloe?
Lois Lane : Shh. You do that. Try to explain it over breakfast maybe next century.
[looks her bubble bath]
Lois Lane : This, I won't be needing.
[hands it to Chloe and as their hands touch the Silver Banshee transfers to Lois and leaves the room]
Clark Kent : Lois?
Clark Kent : [Chloe faints and Clark catches her] Chloe. Chloe? Chloe?
Chloe Sullivan : [Chloe wakes up and realizes they are both naked] Clark? What are you doing?
Clark Kent : What are *you* doing?
Chloe Sullivan : Where are my clothes?
Clark Kent : I don't know.
Chloe Sullivan : What's going on?
[shoves the bubble bath into Clark's hands and runs out of the room]
Clark Kent : Chloe, what possessed you to come into the bathroom like that?
Chloe Sullivan : I don't remember. I just completely blanked out.
Clark Kent : You don't remember seeing?
[gestures towards his body]
Chloe Sullivan : No, God, I definitely don't remember seeing that. Wait a minute. Was I? Did you see?
[realizes Clark saw her naked]
Chloe Sullivan : Oh, God. This is our last couples vacation together.
Clark Kent : If I don't find Lois, this will be the last vacation I take with anyone.
Chloe Sullivan : Okay, so not that I haven't seen enough of Clark Kent's private life tonight...
Clark Kent : I don't like where this is going.
Chloe Sullivan : You took Lois on a romantic getaway to some sort of bed and breakfast. And while I doubt the breakfest part poses problems, correct me if I am wrong. I seem to recall you having some kind of concern about the beds, and non-powered people, and what would happen in the beds with the non-powered people if...
Clark Kent : Okay, stop.
Chloe Sullivan : Thank you.
Clark Kent : My training with Jor-El has helped me to manage my powers better.
[Chloe looks confused]
Clark Kent : Let's just say that I'm in control. Of everything.
Lois Lane : I know it's called a bed and breakfast, but missing dinner is a definite bust. I'm starving. And I already ate the granola bar that's been at the bottom of my bag since... I don't know when.
Clark Kent : Lois, we wouldn't be late if we hadn't driven 40 miles out of our way to see the world's largest ball of yarn.
Lois Lane : You'll thank me later.
Lois Lane : [returning to the Talon] Well, as incredible as that R&R attempt was, I think we should skip the old B&Bs for a while.
Clark Kent : Lois, for our first weekend away together, it could have been worse.
Lois Lane : I was possessed by a 300 year old Scottish banshee and I almost killed you, Clark.
Clark Kent : But we did get to see the world's largest ball of yarn. That made the whole trip worthwhile.
Lois Lane : All thanks to my stellar sense of direction. Let's face it, Clark, without me, you'd still be lost.
Lois Lane : [her phone buzzes while she and Clark kiss] Just let it go to voicemail.
Clark Kent : Yeah, well, um, why don't you answer it, Lois? What if it's important?
Lois Lane : Okay. A little privacy, please?
Clark Kent : Just pretend I'm not here.
Lois Lane : I can't do that.
Clark Kent : Well, I guess I'll just have to get used to sharing you with the world.
Maggie McDougal : The legend of Siobhan McDougal is just a ghost story. It's not real.
Clark Kent : You've got a confused co-ed in your living room and a dead body in your yard. Now, we need to hear the rest of Siobhan's story.
Maggie McDougal : You really think a centuries-old spirit has come back for revenge?
Chloe Sullivan : We've seen weirder things.
Maggie McDougal : After Siobhan was killed, her soul was sent to the underworld, where she was given great powers.
Chloe Sullivan : What kinds of powers?
Maggie McDougal : Uncommon strength, and... the ability to slay any man that hears her wail. Superstitious villagers also gave her a new name: Silver Banshee.
Chloe Sullivan : Okay, the last time I checked, the underworld was still underground. So how is it that this wailing wonder has gotten topside?
Maggie McDougal : Legend tells of a portal through which her spirit could return to this world. It was said to be a relic created in Siobhan's own image. But after several deaths in the village, Bevan feared that he would soon be Silver Banshee's next victim. So he conducted an ancient Scottish ritual and covered the relic in Siobhan's spilled blood, sealing the portal shut.
Clark Kent : A relic in her image? Like a statue or an engraving?
Chloe Sullivan : Or a painting.
Clark Kent : [x-raying the painting] There's another portrait painted under this one. Bevan didn't just use blood to paint over his sister's image. He used it to paint his own portrait over hers.
Chloe Sullivan : And then Lois must have accidentally opened the portal when she scraped it.
Clark Kent : Chloe, you need to figure out how to close that portal. I'll find out who Siobhan inhabited next.
Chloe Sullivan : This is the lantern I brought from the inn. I must have dropped it here.
Clark Kent : [spotting the body on the ground] Unless something made you drop it.
Chloe Sullivan : Oh, god. This is so not the weekend I had in mind.
Clark Kent : You were out here, Chloe. Do you think you could have...
Chloe Sullivan : Gone Norman Bates?
Chloe Sullivan : Wait a minute. I wasn't the only one out here. There was a-a face, like a phantom.
Clark Kent : What did it look like?
Chloe Sullivan : Black, white, and weird all over. And since this is where my memory hits a roadblock, I'm guessing that spirit started driving this dune buggy. I must have been possessed.
Clark Kent : Well, you obviously aren't now. But if that spirit is responsible for this murder, we need to find it before it kills again.
Maggie McDougal : Yes, can I help you?
Lois Lane : Hey.
Clark Kent : Sorry about that. Uh, we're late. The reservation's under Kent.
Maggie McDougal : Oh, I apologize, but thanks to the storm, the room you reserved sprang a leak. I tried to call, but the line wouldn't connect. Cell reception is horrible around here.
Clark Kent : [Lois subtly hits him] Well, that's f-fine. We'll, um, take any room that you have available.
Maggie McDougal : Uh, there... isn't one. Before I realized the pipe had burst, I gave the last room away.
Lois Lane : Okay, well, um...
[checking the sign-in log]
Lois Lane : ...let's, uh, hope that, uh, Mr. and Mrs. Green didn't quite finish unpacking, because the only inn they're gonna be staying at is called Holiday.
Lois Lane : Ah, perfect timing. Articles are in, phone calls have been returned, and I am officially ready for our magical mystery weekend.
Clark Kent : That's great, so let's escape before Randall sends you on an assignment. Where's your bag?
Lois Lane : Well, since you insisted on being a man of secrets, I had to cover all my bases.
[showing him three different suitcases]
Lois Lane : There's a snow angel, surfer girl, city chic.
Clark Kent : How about countryside bed and breakfast?
Lois Lane : Good choice. But since I'm assuming you don't mean the French countryside...
Clark Kent : No. It's kind of Scottish. Some place called the McDougal Inn.
Chloe Sullivan : Okay, cowboy, looks like we're all clear on the Western front, for now.
Clark Kent : Then I'm handing over the reins to John Jones. He's gonna patrol while I'm out on the town with Lois.
Chloe Sullivan : Don't worry, I think Metropolis can handle one weekend without the Blur. Now, the real question is can the Blur handle two nights with Lois?
Clark Kent : I think I'm up to the challenge. But I'll have my cell, so if anything comes up...
Chloe Sullivan : Clark, it's one weekend. Enjoy it.
Clark Kent : I heard Bart's in town. You two should hang out.
Chloe Sullivan : Thank you for the not-so-subtle contribution to the Chloe Sullivan charity case, but Lois already made a kind donation in your name. I'm hanging up now.