Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010 Video)
John DiMaggio: Joker
Jason Todd : Ignoring what he's done in the past. Blindly, stupidly disregarding the entire graveyards he's filled, the thousands who have suffered, the friends he's crippled. You know, I thought... I thought I'd be the last person you'd ever let him hurt. If it had been you that he beat to a bloody pulp, if he had taken you from this world, I would've done nothing but search the planet for this pathetic pile of evil, death-worshiping garbage and then send him off to hell!
Batman : You don't understand. I don't think you've ever understood.
Jason Todd : What? That your moral code just won't allow for that? It's too hard to cross that line?
Batman : No! God Almighty, no. It'd be too damned easy. All I've ever wanted to do is kill him. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about subjecting him to every horrendous torture he's dealt out to others, and then... end him.
Joker : Aw, so you *do* think about me.
Batman : But if I do that, if I allow myself to go down into that place... I'll never come back.
Jason Todd : Why? I'm not talking about killing Penguin or Scarecrow or Dent. I'm talking about *him*, just him. And doing it because... because he took me away from you.
Batman : I can't. I'm sorry.
Joker : That is so sweet!
Jason Todd : Is that what you think this is about? You letting me die? I don't know what clouds your judgement worse, your guilt or your antiquated sense of morality. Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me. But why, why on God's earth...
[smashes closet door open, holding Joker]
Jason Todd : ...is he still alive?
Joker : [cackles] Gotta give the boy points. He came all the way from the dead to make this shindig happen. So who's got a camera? Ooh! Ooh! Get one of me and the kid first. Then you and me, then the three of us. And then the one with the crowbar.
Jason Todd : [puts gun to Joker's temple] You'll be as quiet as possible, or I'll put one in your lap first.
Joker : Party pooper. No cake for you.
Joker : [strikes Robin with crowbar] What hurts more? A? Or B? Forehand? Or backhand?
[puts his ear to Robin's face]
Joker : A little louder, lamb chop. I think you may have a collapsed lung. That always impedes the oratory.
[Robin spits in his face]
Joker : Now, that was rude. The first boy blunder had some manners. I suppose I'm going to have to teach you a lesson so you can better follow in his footsteps. Nah, I'm just gonna keep beating you with this crowbar.
Red Hood : [strikes Joker with crowbar] Tell me, how does that feel?
Joker : You know, it only hurts when I laugh. But hey... I gotta know. Who are you? You said we knew one another. You do seem really familiar. We double at the prom? Or maybe blow up a school bus together?
Red Hood : No. I'm just something you helped make.
Joker : That's pretty cryptic... but interesting. Tell me more.
Red Hood : Sure.
[raises the crowbar]
Red Hood : Listen up.
Joker : [to Batman] You look good. Been working out? You could probably use a little sun. Then again, who am I to talk?
Joker : [to Nightwing] Oh, Bird Boy, you're so much less fun now. All grown up and in your big-boy pants. Still, better off than his replacement, right? Even tougher making with the yuks when you're worm food, huh?
[Batman flings Joker across the room, he angrily picks Joker up by the throat and slams him against the wall as Night wing looks on]
Joker : [smiles] You gonna do it this time?
[Batman releases his grip dropping Joker to the floor]
Joker : So disappointed but back to the matter at hand, do you really think I would go through all that trouble and not make sure you knew it was me?
Joker : [Putting on a coat] Okay kiddo, I've got to go. But it's been fun though, right?
[turns towards Jason who's lying motionless in a puddle of his blood]
Joker : Well maybe a smidge more fun for me than you, I'm guessing, since you're being awful quiet. Anyway be a good boy, finish your homework, and be in bed by nine. And hey, please tell the big man I said... hello!
[laughs manically and locks the shed]
Joker : [playing with a lighter] I'm sorry, could you hold on? I was just in the middle of setting fire to your gang!
Red Hood : Go ahead! You think I care if that scum dies?
Joker : Don't know, I just wanted your attention!
Red Hood : You've always had my attention. But what I really wanted was an audience with you!
Joker : I'm sorry, that seems to imply that YOU organized this little flambé.
Red Hood : I did. Sure, I had lots of plans. But the endgame was getting Black Mask so desperate that he'd cut a deal. He was the only one with the connections to get into Arkham, and get you out.
Black Mask : You can't trust anybody...
Joker : So I've been bamboozled. Oh, my.
Red Hood : I wouldn't undersell it. It took a lot of work to bring about our reunion.
Joker : Reunion? Have we met before?
Red Hood : Yes, we have.
Joker : [finally ignites the lighter] Well, here's to warm memories!
[drops it into the truck]
Joker : I can't believe you got him! You expert, rootin'-tootin', eagle-eyed, Goth-loving marksman! I love it! You managed to find a way to win... and everybody still loses!
[Jason activates a bomb]
Joker : [holds down Batman] No! Don't spoil it, this is better! I'm the only one who's going to get what he wants tonight! Yes! Big-Bang-Boom! We all go out together! Don't you just love a happy ending?
Red Hood : This is what it's all been about. This! You, me, him! Now is the time you decide! If you won't kill this psychotic piece of filth, I will! If you want to stop me, you're going to have to kill me!
Batman : You know I won't...
Red Hood : I'm going to blow his deranged brains out! And if you want to stop it, you are going to have to shoot me, right in my face!
Joker : This is turning out even better than I'd hoped.
Black Mask : I hope you understand the trouble I've gone through to arrange this little get together here. A lot of money, a lot of dead meat. Look, I've got a problem, and you are absolutely the man who possesses the gifts to take care of this problem. I need you to murder the Red Hood. You think you can handle that?
Joker : [Joker is eating a packet of chips and coughs] May I have some water?
[One of Black Mask's agents gets him a glass of water, Joker breaks it over the end of the table and shoves it in the agent's throat, takes his gun and shoots the other agents, Black Mask stares down the barrel of the gun as Joker laughs maniacally, then sobers]
Joker : I'm going to need... something to wear.
[fingers the collar of his prison jumpsuit]
Joker : And a very big truck.
Black Mask : Sure. Anything else?
Joker : I'll need some guys.
Joker : Not these guys, because, well, they're kind of dead.
[the Joker has captured Black Mask and Miss Li and kept them in a truck with some criminals]
Black Mask : This wasn't part of the damn deal, you freak! Get me out of here, right now!
Joker : [dumps gasoline into the truck] I thought you'd enjoy seeing some old faces. After all, most of these guys used to work for you.