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"The Cleveland Show" From Bed to Worse (TV Episode 2009) Poster

Quotes

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Cleveland Brown: So, Cleveland Jr., are you all packed for your school trip to D.C?

Cleveland Brown Jr.: I''m not going on that trip.

Cleveland Brown: Not going? This is your chance to visit our nation's capital and see how white people created our country with no help from anybody else.

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Principal Wally Farquhare: [to the kids on the bus] Okay, zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket. This is Tim and Arianna, Raymond's mom and dad.

Tim the Bear: That's Raymond right back there.

[scene cuts to Raymond]

Raymond the Bear: Hello?

Tim the Bear: Yo, watch out, pretty girls. He's going to try to kiss your face.

Arianna: Oh, that's a wonderful message, Tim. Because kissing girls is certainly going to get him into Princeton University.

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Cleveland Brown: [to Rallo] We got a DVR so we could record the programs we wanna watch with the commercials. Your generation needs to calm down. Look, these ad men are doing all sorts of research on what we wanna buy. They're putting descriptions of the products on during the shows they know we're gonna watch. They're going shopping for us. Fast-forward through the commercials. Fast-forward to your bedtime.

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Arianna: [when the kids are going wild on the bus] Tim, why aren't you doing anything? They're going crazy back there. It's like "American Pie 4: Band Camp."

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Donna Tubbs: Cleveland, Rallo had a nightmare.

Rallo Tubbs: I'm far too scared to sleep alone.

Donna Tubbs: [to Rallo] You can sleep with us tonight.

Cleveland Brown: There's no room.

Donna Tubbs: Trust me, there's room for three in this bed.

Cleveland Brown: What?

Donna Tubbs: Uh. I said there's room for Clee in this bed.

Cleveland Brown: You don't call me Clee.

Donna Tubbs: Sure I do. I love you, Clee.

Cleveland Brown: Oh, I love you too, Don.

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Donna Tubbs: [When Rallo continues to sleep in Cleveland and Donna's bed] Cleveland, he's a little boy. Let him get used to our new family.

Cleveland Brown: But he doesn't need to sleep in our bed. That's where we do things to each other. Dirty things, disrespectful things. Things that make it hard for me to look you in the eye the next day.

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Donna Tubbs: Cleveland, can you dry this for me?

Cleveland Brown: Why don't you have your boyfriend Rallo do it?

Donna Tubbs: Please, Cleveland. He's my son and he's adjusting as best he can.

Cleveland Brown: But we promised in our wedding vows that we would have sex every night.

Donna Tubbs: What? No, no, we didn't.

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Roberta Tubbs: I can't believe we're stuck in this motel for another night! Nothing exciting has ever happened at the D.C. hotel!

Raymond the Bear: Didn't Marion Berry get caught smoking crack at a D.C. hotel?

Roberta Tubbs: Okay, yeah, but besides that.

Raymond the Bear: Didn't Reagan get shot at a D.C. hotel?

Roberta Tubbs: Besides that.

Raymond the Bear: Watergate happened at a hotel, I know that.

Roberta Tubbs: I know, I know.

Raymond the Bear: And didn't Elliot Spitzer...

Roberta Tubbs: [cuts him off] Okay, whatever!

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Rallo Tubbs: [after Rallo throws himself down the stairs, injuring his leg]

[to Donna about Cleveland]

Rallo Tubbs: It's his fault. He made me break my leg. And he ate my tater tots and my fish sticks, And he sat in my chair. And he called me the N word.

Cleveland Brown: [Donna glares at him] Well, I'm allowed to, right?

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Transvestite Prostitute: [to Cleveland Jr. and Ernie] You boys wanna party?

Cleveland Brown Jr.: What? Like a pizza party?

Transvestite Prostitute: Let me rephrase that. You wanna see my vaginis?

Cleveland Brown Jr.: No, thank you.

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Cleveland Brown: [to Rallo] All I want is to sleep in the same bed as my wife, but it's not just about the bedroom, Rallo. I married your mother because I love her very much and we are now trying to build a new life for all of us. So, what do you say?

Rallo Tubbs: No.

Cleveland Brown: What? But I'm offering you the head of the table, the newspaper...

Rallo Tubbs: I said no.

Cleveland Brown: The remote, the first bath...

Rallo Tubbs: I love her too and she's mine. And where I come from, you don't share a woman.

Cleveland Brown: Rallo, you're not being...

Rallo Tubbs: Look, old man, I broke one leg to get what I want. Don't think I won't break another one.

Cleveland Brown: Ugh, you broke your leg on purpose? You're... you're crazy!

[backs away from him]

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Rallo Tubbs: [about Donna sleeping without Cleveland] Oh, Sir Thomas, she's laying here with me, but she's thinking about him. I don't mind torturing old Brown, but I cannot bear to see my mama in pain. Well, as Kobe Bryant once said, "I have overstayed my welcome in this bed."

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Rallo Tubbs: [to Cleveland] The crown is heavy, but somebody's gotta wear it.

Cleveland Brown: Yeah, you got a fish stick and a remote control. Have fun living with that pin in your leg for the rest of your life.

[laughs]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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