Pam: I should have told you that lavender is my favorite color.
Sookie Stackhouse: Pam, I'm in no mood for lesbian weirdness.
Lafayette Reynolds: [to Lettie Mae] Bitch! You, me, bridge ain't gonna never motherfuckin' happen.
Bill Compton: [to the wolves surrounding him] I should warn you... I have fed.
Eric Northman: So what brings you to Fangtasia this balmy summer night?
Sookie Stackhouse: Bill's been kidnapped and I think you did it.
Eric Northman: I didn't. Any other theories?
Sookie Stackhouse: I'm still on this one. Thank you very much.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: We are going to get through this so long as we act like everything is perfectly normal.
Jason Stackhouse: I ain't even sure what normal is anymore.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well for you, normal is goin' out and gettin' tail. So I suggest you start there.
Jason Stackhouse: No, that was the old Jason. I wanna be new Jason.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well, when this thing blows over you can go out and not get laid all you want to. But for now, you gotta be the Jason Stackhouse everybody knows. So conscience off, dick on. And everything's gonna be alright.
Jason Stackhouse: Fine.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Say it with me. Conscience off.
Jason Stackhouse: Conscience off.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Dick what?
Jason Stackhouse: Dick on.
Sookie Stackhouse: [watching Eric with the new dancer] What the s...?
Eric Northman: [stops and turns] Sookie... see anything you like?
Pam: I do.
Eric Northman: I take it Sookie couldn't be stopped?
Pam: What can I say? She overpowered me.
Lafayette Reynolds: You fellin' all floaty yet?
Tara Thornton: [broken] Kinda.
Lafayette Reynolds: Good. Tequila and klonopin, baby girl. A steady diet of that will keep them thoughts away 'til y'alls more equipped to deal with them.
Jason Stackhouse: People are always trying to fuck up other people's lives by telling lies about them. You want to really fuck somebody's life up? Tell the truth about them. They ain't never gonna be the same.
Hoyt Fortenberry: Well somebody musta told the truth about me then. My whole life has gone from happy to hell inside just a couple of days. No girlfriend. I got no roof over my head, unless you count my car.
Lettie Mae: [about Tara] How is she?
Lafayette Reynolds: [going to get in his car] Sleepin' finally. So keep it down. I don't wanna wake her up.
Lettie Mae: Thank you for callin' me.
Lafayette Reynolds: This ain't about you and me building a bridge into our future together, alright? You SHOT a gun at me! But you know what, I don't even have the time. I got two jobs, both of which I need. One of which I already didn't show up for today.
Lafayette Reynolds: [to Lettie Mae] Do everybody a solid. Instead of looking up at a god that let all this shit happen, you need to keep your eyes on your fucking daughter. She ain't right to be alone.
Magister: [entering the Fantasia with the Queen] Mr. Northman. I haven't seen you since the Bill Compton trial.
Eric Northman: Yes, it's been uh too long. May I ask what brings you to Fantasia?
Queen Sophie Anne: We need to talk. You should probably close up.
Eric Northman: You can just use my office.
Queen Sophie Anne: It's bugged.
Eric Northman: How do you know this?
Queen Sophie Anne: Because I'm the one who bugged it... It's how I know I can trust you.
Bill Compton: [entering the house] May I trouble you to use your phone?
Olivia: [pushing her tank back into the living room] I don't have one. I had to chose between my oxygen and my phone. And since no one calls me anyhow, I chose oxygen.
Tara Thornton: The only man I ever loved was just zipped up in a bag.
Sookie Stackhouse: Tell me where I can find Lorena? If you don't have him, she does.
Eric Northman: Solid theory. But given the tenure of your last run-in with Ms. Krasiki, I think it's better if I delt with her instead.
Sookie Stackhouse: How do I know if you will?
Eric Northman: Because if Bill was in fact kidnapped, by human or vampire, I am duty bound as sheriff in the area in which he resides to find him... even if I do want what is his.
Sookie Stackhouse: I take it you heard what happened last night with Bill?
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Kenya told me. She also told me you gotta hint out of line with her.
Sookie Stackhouse: If anyone was outta line, it was her! The man I'd be engaged to right now if I gotta chance to say yes, was kidnapped last night and Kenya wouldn't even file a missing person's report.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Well how the hell can she, Sookie; when the person missing ain't even a real person.
Sookie Stackhouse: Okay, tell me you did not just say that. 'Cause if you did, I might have to forget that I was brought up to respect my elders. We are all suppose to respect our elders. And since Bill Compton has gotta about a hundred years on you, I think he deserves at least a hint of your respect... There's a woman, a vampire actually. Her name is Lorena Krasiki and I think she's the one who took him. I need your help to find her.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: You have to understand, Sookie. I got dead bodies pilin' up on me. Dead bodies and I can't be spending this departments limited resources followin' up on hunches about vampire-nappings.
Sookie Stackhouse: See, I don't think I should have to understand that because I love Bill just like you love your wife and your children and your grandchildrn. So to my mind, that makes him worth following up on.
Queen Sophie Anne: [about the Magister] Is it just me or is he really dull?
Arlene Fowler: I'm sorry you fell in love with a serial killer, alright, but honestly, who here hasn't?
Tara Thornton: Bitch, Eggs wasn't no killer!
Detective Andy Bellefleur: He confessed...
Tara Thornton: I don't care what he confessed to. He ain't responsible for it!
Arlene Fowler: Oh, why? Because of society? Because of slavery?
Tara Thornton: [Tara flips out] You redneck!
Lafayette Reynolds: [Pulls Tara away] I'm gonna take Tara to Sookie's. Bud, if you want to talk to her, you can meet us over there. And we're gonna steal this tequila over here, but I doubt that'd surprise any of y'all.
Tara Thornton: [to Arlene] Stupid-ass racist dyed haired bitch!
Arlene Fowler: I hate when they make everything about race.
Pam: Is there a problem?
Lafayette Reynolds: No, hooker. Look, I can't sell all this sh1t by tomorrow. I got a cousin in trouble. She needs-...
Pam: [Pins him to the wall] I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember, I can rip your throat out if I need to. And also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long time, long time ago.
Tara Thornton: The only man I ever loved was just zipped up in a bag, and you don't even have the decency to pretend you give a fuck!
Arlene Fowler: I give a fuck.
Jessica Hamby: [about the symbol] It says something about Operation Werewolf.
Sookie Stackhouse: Werewolf...?
Audrey: [over the phone] I hope I didn't wake you?
Sam Merlotte: I'm really glad you did, Audrey.
Jen: [about Jason being soft] He's weird.
Missy: What ever. Okay, what's his problem?
Jason Stackhouse: It's... It's not you. It's just... Every time I look at you, I keep seeing these big old bullet holes in your heads.
Jessica Hamby: [to the dying trucker] Hey! What ever your name is, wake up!
Bill Compton: [struggling] You're the one in charge, is that correct?
Cooter: I got vamper juice all over my good touring gloves.
Bill Compton: If you have any kind of orders to keep me alive, you are about to fail. At the rate you're drainin' me, I will die!
Sookie Stackhouse: [comes in, seeing her crying] Tara?
Tara Thornton: [sobbing] It's Eggs.
Sookie Stackhouse: What happened?
Lafayette Reynolds: They shot him.
Sookie Stackhouse: What? Who?
Lafayette Reynolds: Andy Bellefleur said Eggs came at him with a knife, confessing to killing those women and cuttin' out their hearts.
Tara Thornton: The fuck he know any of that?
Sookie Stackhouse: Oh my god. Tara, he came to me earlier today. Said he needed help 'membering what Maryann made him do. So, so I helped him.
Reverend Daniels: [to Tara] This devil woman came to you and introduced you to a man and together they tried to pull you down into the pits of hell.
Magister: [to Eric and the Queen as the club clears out] No humans. I need both of you at full attention.
Eric Northman: There's something I couldn't tell you infront of the Magister. Bill Compton has gone missing. Kidnapped perhaps.
Queen Sophie Anne: I don't care. Move the blood.
Eric Northman: He's the only vampire that knows about our arrangement. My side of it at least.
Queen Sophie Anne: Then I don't understand why we're even talking about him. Let him rot.
Terry Bellefleur: Are we still on?
Arlene Fowler: I don't know, Terry. I need to focus on my kids!
[funning from the room]
Terry Bellefleur: ...Peculiar.
Jessica Hamby: [to Sookie as she comes through the door] You might wanna start lettin' me know when you're gonna be swingin' by. Have you considered...
Sookie Stackhouse: Has Bill called you?
Jessica Hamby: No, and I told you I would call you if he did.
Sookie Stackhouse: Not that kinda call. I was just with Pam and she got all shivery. Than she told me Eric had just called her and she had to go.
Jessica Hamby: She was shiverin'?
Sookie Stackhouse: Have you felt anything like that?
Jessica Hamby: Last night. It came over me like a wave and it made me feel sick too! Just like that time I drank Kahlua.
Sookie Stackhouse: This isn't about under-age drinkin', Jessica! Bill is missing and without your help he might never come back.
Olivia: [very dazed as she wakes up] Who are you?
Bill Compton: That doesn't matter... what's your name?
Bill Compton: That's a lovely name. Now listen, Olivia. I was never here tonight. You will not remember what I've done to you.
Olivia: What did you do to me?
Bill Compton: [smiling] Good girl. Now before I go, can you tell me where I am?
Olivia: In my house.
Bill Compton: And what parish do you live in?
Olivia: I live in Copiah county.
Bill Compton: [alarmed] Mississippi?
Bill Compton: [handing her money] I want you to have this. It's from Stanley. He came to see you.
Olivia: He did?
Bill Compton: He wanted you to have it to show you he appreciates everything you have ever done for him.
Olivia: He's such a good boy, my Stanley.
Bill Compton: I have to go now. Good bye, Olivia.
Sookie Stackhouse: [looking through the wrecked car] There's a body in here, but it's not Bill's! Give me a hand!
Jessica Hamby: [races down the hill and pulls out the body] Ewww!
Sookie Stackhouse: Is there a wallet or phone that might tell us who this fucker is?
Jessica Hamby: [quick search] No wallet, no phone.
Sookie Stackhouse: Why aren't you takin' this seriously, Kenya? My boyfriend has been kidnapped.
Deputy Kenya Jones: It's Deputy Jones and I'd appreciate you addressing me as such. How how long were you in the bathroom?
Sookie Stackhouse: No more than a minute or two.
Deputy Kenya Jones: Was it one minute or two?
Sookie Stackhouse: What difference does it make when every second you spend questioning me, these bastards are getting further away!
Deputy Kenya Jones: What if there were no bastards? What if, while you were in the bathroom for a minute or two, your vampire friend realized he didn't want to be humiliated any more and took off?
Sookie Stackhouse: Well than, how do you explain the turned over table inside? Because to me that looks like evidence of a struggle.
Deputy Kenya Jones: To me, it looks like a man lost his temper... and with good reason.
Terry Bellefleur: Hey, 'cuz... I know what you're going through. That first kill is gotta a way of making you feel that's all you are. But you've got to know that you are a man this is still capable of goodness and of heartbreaking generosity of spirit. And if you cling to that with every thing you've got, you gonna be alright. I promise.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [thinks for a minute and relaxes] Thank you for that.
Sookie Stackhouse: Bill's been kidnapped.
Jessica Hamby: What? I thought y'all were just going to dinner.
Sookie Stackhouse: We were. But than he proposed and than...
Jessica Hamby: Oh my god. Wait, Sookie...
Sookie Stackhouse: I-I didn't say yes.
Jessica Hamby: You rejected him?
Sookie Stackhouse: It's not like that. It's just... if he does come home, for what ever reason, call me and let me know even if he commands you not to.
Eric Northman: [about Bill missing] The Queen is the last person I need finding out about this.
Pam: You're not the only one whose fate hangs in the balance here.
Eric Northman: And what do you think the Queen will do if I tell her I've lost the one vampire who could link her to the dealing of vampire blood?
Pam: What do you think she'll do if she finds out from someone else? Call the Queen.
Eric Northman: There are times when I seek your counsel, Pam. Now is not one of those times.
Magister: Trouble abounds in your fair state.
Eric Northman: Tell me.
Magister: It would seem your idyllic little home is competing to become the V capital of the world.
Queen Sophie Anne: Can you believe it? I am so embarrassed. Naturally I told the Magister that you were the only vampire in my kingdom that I could trust with this.
Eric Northman: Anything I can do to be of service.
Magister: Our blood is sacred. Wasting it on any thing but procreation is blasphemy.
Queen Sophie Anne: Madness.
Eric Northman: Desecration.
Magister: Have you noticed an uptake is users in your neck of the woods? Maybe even here in your club?
Eric Northman: I haven't. No.
Magister: See that surpises me. Because every other sheriff to whom I have spoken to has. The amounts are so great in fact, we can only assume a vampire is responsible.
Queen Sophie Anne: An act of self loathing so shameful that who ever is responsible should fall on his own stake.
Eric Northman: Respectfully, Magister, I'm not sure I follow your logic.
Magister: If your average run-of-the-mill drainers were behind this, it would stand to reason that said drainers would need vampires to drain; which means there would be missing vampires and plenty of them... How many vampires have gone missing in your area?
Eric Northman: None, magister.
Magister: So now, do you follow my logic.
Eric Northman: I do, and I will look into the matter.
Magister: Good, and I will expect results.
Queen Sophie Anne: When we do find the vampire responsible, how will you punish him?
Eric Northman: Or her?
Queen Sophie Anne: And will it be in public?
Magister: Of course when one who is proven guilty of such a crime must be made an example of. That kind of moral anarchy can not be allowed.
Queen Sophie Anne: Isn't moral anarchy kind of the point? I can't think of anything more depressing that living by the law forever.
Eric Northman: Your Highness, forgive me but I don't feel the same sense of relief you do.
Queen Sophie Anne: You don't think he believed us.
Eric Northman: Not entirely. No.
Queen Sophie Anne: Than I suggest you sell everything you have as soon as possible.
Queen Sophie Anne: The pigs at the IRS are breathing down my neck and I need money now. Sell the blood at half price if you have to. I don't care what it takes. Just move the product and cover our tracks.
Eric Northman: With all due respect, your highness, I fear you're not considering all the angles.
Lafayette Reynolds: I'm gonna take Tara to Sookie's. Bud, if you want to talk to her, you can meet us over there. And we're gonna steal this tequila over here, but I doubt that'd surprise any of y'all.
Sookie Stackhouse: Where were you tonight around 11 o'clock?
Eric Northman: Here, with Yvetta.
Sookie Stackhouse: Doing this?... For the last six hours?
Eric Northman: You seem surprised. Is Bill's stamina not up to snuff?