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Full House
ExplorerDS678922 October 2018
Warning: Spoilers
As you may have noticed, Louie Anderson comes from a very big family. Eleven kids total, yet we only see about five of the other siblings, and the show only really focuses on two of them: Louie and Tommy, and the rest are pretty much worthless. Now, I'm not talking about Louie Anderson's real life siblings, I'm sure they're very good people. I'm talking about the ones depicted on this series. Well, anyway, growing up in a household like that, you'd think it would be pretty tough for Louie to find a space to call his own. He couldn't use his room, because Tommy would always come in and burp the Pledge of Allegiance to him. Fortunately, he found solace in the crawl space under the stairs. Yeah, this was a mighty big household, but on the bright side, it couldn't get any bigger... right? Well, one fateful night, Ora gets a call from the doctor, and informs Andy that she has a "bun in the oven" and "expecting a bundle", however he isn't too quick on the uptake. Just tell him you're knocked up. That's right! The Andersons are having another baby! Yeah, for serious. They're 100% positive. So, after Andy faints and regains consciousness, he and Ora discuss Anderson Offspring #12, and when Andy sarcastically suggests they get rid of one of their existing kids, Louie overhears and is afraid it might be him, though he suggests to Tommy that it might possibly be his 5-year-old self chucked out into the cold, but the boy isn't worried, as it's always the oldest who leaves, so in this case, it would be down to Louie or Laura, and Tommy suggests their parents like Laura better. The hell they do, what has she ever done for them? Louie has done more for his whole family than any of those other useless loafers. Again, I'm not trashing Louie's real life siblings. Anyway, determined to not allow himself to be kicked to the wayside, Louie decides to really try and earn his keep.

When that failed, Louie decided to find out where the baby was coming from so he could send it back. After hearing the blunt truth from Jeannie, Louie denies it and looks elsewhere. According to Grunewald, it's a giant stork that brings the child. According to Toddler, it's chosen out of a cabbage patch. According to Andy, it's like invading France, storming the beach of Normandy with troops in an amphibious loader, and the one who survives the ambush, that's the one that becomes the baby. So, Louie combines all those ludicrous ideas into one, and it gets him sent to the principal's office. Wow, imagine what would've happened if Louie had told where babies REALLY came from, he'd probably get expelled. Principal Halloran calls Andy down to the school to tell him about the situation, and even try to push her book about where babies come from. That's right, if you recall, this principal always seems to have written a book for any situation Louie seems to find himself in. Anyway, at home, Ora decides to try the old "egg exercise" with Louie and Tommy. You know the one: you're given an egg and you have to treat it like it's a baby. Louie saw right through the ruse; he knew this was a test, and whoever failed, had to go. This quickly pits he and Tommy into swift competition on who would be the greatest egg father. While that was going on, Andy was working up the courage to ask Mr. Applegate for a raise. First, he practices on Louie, but when he becomes too aggressive, he's fired. However, Ora demonstrates a much calmer, more pleasant demeanor, which secures the raise. So all Andy has to do is not be himself, and he will receive that which he seeks. After that, Louie witnesses Tommy brushing his egg's teeth, when all of a sudden, he drops it! R.I.P. Andy Ora Egg-Anderson, we hardly knew ye. Suddenly, Louie had an unexpected attack of conscience and switches his egg with Tommy, claiming the broken egg was his own. Then, he retreats to the crawlspace, knowing he'd get the boot for sure, until Ora comes to see him, and FINALLY, Louie does what he should have done long ago: talk with her about his feelings on the new baby. She told him all his worries about getting kicked out were pure malarkey, and that he would definitely stay put. That's a relief, because with him gone, Life With Tommy would make for a rather obnoxious show. Or maybe they would've called it Life With Andy, and we'd hear a new exaggerated war story ever week. Nope, Life With LOUIE is here to stay... for 1 more year, anyway. Well, the next day, Ora gets a call from Dr. Day Usex Machina (not his real name, but an appropriate one, because...) he tells her there was a mix-up, so the Andersons aren't having a baby after all. Well, Andy's troops didn't make it past the ambush this time, but he was confident that one day, his soldier might make it... however, it might be a good idea if Andy's soldier wore a helmet, if you know what I mean.

Very good episode, with a very good message and can be helpful to young children whose parents are expecting a bundle, who all have mixed feelings about it. As you know, the characters in this show (Louie's family, at least) are all based off real people, so that could be why they decided not to give Louie another brother or sister, as Tommy was his only younger sibling. But you can imagine what it would've been like if they had one, right? Louie stuck with babysitting duties, probably losing the kid at the park, and... well, other stuff. Funny moments, like Louie playing Andy's boss, and heartfelt moments like Louie's mom telling him he could never be replaced. Good time all around, so I definitely recommend An Anderson (Dirty) Dozen. Typical sitcom fare, sure (y'know, "I'm having a baby" then "oh, I'm not having a baby after all"), but it works very well here. And, once again, I meant no offense to Louie Anderson's family. He kicks ass and his family does too.
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