Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough (2008 Video Game)
Strong Bad: First the burnination of Strong Badia... now I've got HomeSpam! Trogdor, you messed with the wrong player character this time! I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I have no other choice... I must... kill... *Trogdor*! Uhh... Anybody know how to kill a dragon?
Strong Bad: [to Stinkoman] Cool, cool robot boots!
Stinkoman: I know, I know, I know! They make me jump at real high! Plus, all the girls think I'm a boy! But I think they all need to grow up! And I can kick!
Strong Bad: [annoyed] Okay! Man, shut up!
Stinkoman: *You* shut up! You're dumb! And your head is wide like the river! You have the river head!
[He laughs as he stomps his robot-boot-clad feet]
Strong Bad: [seeing Homestar in a pop-up window] Homestar? Where are you?
Homestar Runner: I'm in your interface. Pretty cool, huh?
Strong Bad: [irritated] Well, get out! I've got enough to worry about without you gettin' all up in my HUD like some kinda pop-up spam!
Homestar Runner: Yeah, that's a problem. I think I'm stuck in this video game unless you can find a way to get me out. By the way, did you know that Total Load can enlarge your vectroid region by 27 percent? Click here to find out how!
[Strong Bad discovers that Trogdor has burninated Strong Badia]
Strong Bad: [in disbelief] *Trogdor*? NOOOOO! Bad Trogdor! Heel!
[Trogdor breathes fire toward Strong Bad, but misses, then runs off]
Strong Bad: [anguished] My poor kingdom! You were never supposed to burninate *my* countryside! I thought we were BFFs!
[to the camera]
Strong Bad: That's Burninating Friends Forever.
Strong Bad: [to Strong Sad] Hey, what happened to Trogdor? I expected him to be pummeling and/or burninating you by now.
Strong Sad: I told him my plant Charlemagne was a defenseless peasant baby and threw it out the window! When he went after it, I locked the door behind him! That thing is out of control! You've got to get a new logic board and stop him!
Strong Bad: Stop him? No, no, it's pronounced "Cheer him on"!
Strong Bad: [about the logic board to stop Trogdor] What's this "logic board" you're babbling about?
Strong Sad: When you broke the machine...
Strong Bad: We never established who broke what!
Strong Sad: ...you must've damaged the 8-Bit Containment field. You'll have to call Videlectrix for a replacement. It's the only way for Trogdor to get safely back into the game!
Strong Bad: Why would I want to get him BACK in the game? Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to have my own dragon?
Strong Sad: If Trogdor gets free, the videogame world and the real world will merge! Imagine hearing the repetitive, monophonic music of 8-bit games wherever you are, every second, for the rest of your life!
Strong Bad: Yeah, I know! That sounds awesome!
[Strong Sad then mimics 8-bit video game music and annoys Strong Bad]
Strong Bad: All right, I'll fix the machine.
[a roar comes from inside the "Trogdor!" arcade cabinet]
Strong Sad: It sounds like the fan's broken. You'll have to get it serviced.
Strong Bad: Serviced? Where am I supposed to get fan service around here?
[the cabinet grows wings, legs, and a beefy arm then chases Strong Sad]
Strong Bad: That may be... the coolest thing... that has ever happened.
Strong Bad: The Cheat, you know you gotta ask permission before you can play with or be around the Fun Machine. Especially when it's to put crap like *this* in there. Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder? That's the promo shovelware I got for sending in the proofs of purchase from all that Jela-Ton I won in the Race to the End of the Race! Those things are *never* any good! Say it with me, The Cheat...
[Marzipan, who has an exaggerated expression of rage, kidnapped Bubs and took him atop his own concession stand]
Strong Bad: [observing the ordeal] What was THAT all about?
Bubs: All kinds of weird goings on, Strong Bad! There was that big flickerin' and flashin' in the sky, and then Marzipan went plumb loco balonco!
[Marzipan throws several crates]
Bubs: See what I mean?
[Homestar appears in the pop-up window]
Homestar Runner: Oh, is Marzipan having one of her "episodes" again? You just gotta pretend you're listening to her. Let me handle this.
[he teleports over to the enraged Marzipan and speaks in a half-hearted voice]
Homestar Runner: Yes, Marzipan. You're right of course. Good point.
[Marzipan throws crates at Homestar but misses]
Homestar Runner: Missed me! You call that a throw? Give 'er the old one-two!
[Marzipan throws yet another crate, which lands on a bush on the ground]
Strong Bad: Hey, that was my favorite bush! I wonder what's behind there...
Strong Bad: [arriving in Peasantry] Check this place out! I'm in a video game! Oh, man, does that mean I can bash stuff with my head to find coins?
[he bashes his head on a nearby tree, only to hurt himself]
Strong Bad: Ow! Guess not.
[Strong Bad's house is haunted by pixelated ghosts]
The Cheat: [terrified The Cheat noises]
Strong Bad: The Cheat, did you unleash vengeful spirits into the house again?
Strong Bad: Hey, it's Rather Dashing, star of "Peasant's Quest"! Looking blocky and pixely as ever, Rath. Say, I always wanted to ask: what's up with the short pants?
Rather Dashing: These things are incredibly comfortable! I'd like to see you "get rock" or "throw baby" while wearing long pants.
Strong Bad: Fair enough.
[Strong Sad is in Peasantry, wearing a princess hat, guarding the entrance to Trogdor's lair; Strong Bad tries to walk past him]
Strong Sad: Hark, who goes there? Leave this place now, lest I, the evil wizard, Sluushfuund, be forced to cast an evil spell on you.
Strong Bad: [amused] Uh-huh, I think they mixed up your order at the costume palace, Prom Queen! They must've made a mistake.
Strong Sad: It's fate! I was sitting in my room alone...
Strong Bad: As always...
Strong Sad: ...when a blinding flash of light knocked me off my feet! I woke up here in the land of Peasantry, obviously dressed as a powerful, evil wizard!
Strong Bad: Why do they call you "Stinkoman"? Seems a little harsh.
Stinkoman: Why do they call *you* Dumb Face?
Strong Bad: [unamused] Um, they don't.
Stinkoman: Is it because your face is dumb and at the same time you have a dumb face?
Strong Bad: [irritated] No one calls me that.
Stinkoman: Maybe they should call you Dumb Butt Face, because your face and your butt are both dumb!
[He laughs as he stomps his robot-boot-clad feet]
Stinkoman: Robots, ah ha!
Strong Bad: Stinkoman it is.
[Strong Bad releases a captured Limozeen bus near Bubs' Concession Stand, where a game-affected Marzipan holds Bubs captive]
Strong Bad: Fly, my hair metal rockers! Be free!
[the bus hovers above the stand]
Larry Palaroncini: [inside the bus; seeing Marzipan] Moderately hot babe-lien off the port bow!
[the bus captures Marzipan with a tractor beam]
Larry Palaroncini: Oh crap! It's that crazy chick from the Battle of the Bands! Ow! Stop throwin' those crates, pretty mama! Ow!
[the bus flies off]
Bubs: [relieved] Thought she'd NEVER leave!
Strong Bad: [giving Strong Mad the trophy] Alrighty, Comrade Shotski. On behalf of the Videlectrix Gaming Association, I present to you this trophy for Superior Halfathery in the Videlectrix Halfathlon.
[Homestar appears in the pop-up window and hums a fanfare]
Strong Mad: [ecstatic] PUT SHOT SHOT PUT TROPHY! SOLZHENITSYN! GLASNOST!
Strong Bad: [impatiently] Yeah, yeah, ich bin ein donut. Are you joining my party or what?
Strong Mad: DA! DA!
[Strong Mad joins Strong Bad's party]
Strong Bad: [taking the TrogSword; ecstatic] AHA! By the power of EGA, extended memory management, raster interrupt 6, Hold and Modify, and the mighty Mode 8, the power of the TrogSword is MINE!
[Homestar pops up in the interface, just as happy]
Homestar Runner: Yay! You got the sword! Now you can slay the dragon!
Strong Bad: More importantly, I'll be able to keep you from popping up and interrupting all my future scheduled make-out sessions!
Homestar Runner: Uh... I've got access to your online calendar in here and I don't see any scheduled make-out sessions. Just pedicures and bubble baths.
Strong Bad: [nervously] Yeah... that's code for "make-out session"! Just get outta here! And quit touching my stuff!
Strong Bad: The fabled TrogSword is MINE!
Strong Bad: [to Stinkoman about the TrogSword] Hey, how do I get up there? I need that sword!
Stinkoman: [stomping his robot-boot-clad feet and laughing] No way. You couldn't handle that sword! I'm gonna get that sword for myself, just as soon as I'm finished toying with *these* guys!
Strong Bad: Come on, man, that's so not cool.
Stinkoman: [laughing and stomping his feet, pointing to Strong Bad] One day, you'll get your baby turn. For babies! Who have a turn!
[Bubs is being attacked by Marzi-kong]
Strong Bad: You gotta help me fix that Trogdor machine, Bubs. I think Strong Sad broke the "logic board" or something.
Bubs: The logic board? Well, that explains everything! You must've broken the 8-Bit Reality Containment Field, causing our universe to combine with the world of videro games!
Strong Bad: That's right, STRONG SAD did that. Can you fix it for me? I mean, him?
Bubs: Oh, I've been fixin' logic boards since before you were in double diapers! I can even make it so you can play those foreign-type imported games! But I won't be able to do jack OR squat until you do something about that crazy crate lady!
[Strong Bad accidentally crashes into the Trogdor arcade cabinet, breaking it and causing it to spark; Strong Sad watches]
Strong Bad: Now look what you did, Dumpa-lumpa! The Trogdor machine is ruined!
Strong Sad: What I did? This thing hasn't worked for months! Besides, YOU broke it! Everybody saw!
Strong Bad: Look, this is no time to be pointing fat, doughy fingers. This is the time for you to figure out how you're gonna fix it.
Strong Bad: Wait here, Junior, I've got a reanimated arcade machine to take care of.
Strong Sad: Just you? You'd have to be some type of idiot to take on Trogdor alone.
Strong Bad: What? You said all I have to do is replace some kind of logic board and everything'd be fine. I just need to remember where I put the key to open the Trogdor machine, then grab a logic board somewhere and pop it in! How hard can that be?
Strong Sad: Plenty! But since you never listen to me and you're probably going to do it anyway, take this case key. It's the only way to open the cabinet.
[he gives Strong Bad a key]
Strong Bad: Wait, you've had MY key that opens the Trogdor cabinet this whole time?
Strong Sad: Well, yes, but I was only holding on to it so you wouldn't lose it, like you did with your baby bwankey and your...
Strong Bad: Shut up! Shut up nine times!