Bree considers selling her business to save her marriage; Lynette is threatened by Lucy; Gabrielle and Carlos cross boundaries; Karl enrols his son in Susan's class; Edie finally learns about Dave's connection to Mike.
- "Desperate Housewives" - "A Spark to Pierce the Dark" - March 22, 2009
Dave is on a pay phone with the ranger station falsely reporting some illegal hunters.
Mary Alice tells us that Dave has been planning the murder for years and it was a simple plan. As she speaks the scenario we see it play out: take Mike and Katherine to a remote cabin; pretend to be asleep the next morning as they go out for a hike; grab his gun and hunt and kill Katherine, breaking Mike's heart like Dave's heart was broken. The false report was part of the plan, to dupe the police. But then the Mt. Pleasant Gazette finally faxed the article about Mike to Edie.
Mary Alice tells us that life is full of unpleasant shocks as we see Juanita shock her little sister, Porter shock himself on the toaster, and McCluskey short out her vacuum cleaner.
Susan gets her shock when she runs into Karl at the school. Turns out that he's enrolled his son Evan. Karl zings her like always. She lays down the law telling him not to mention their history to anyone who works at the school.
Lucy is presiding over a planning meeting for a big account Carlos' company is trying to land. At one point Lynette moves a figurine on a table near her to put something down. Lucy snaps at her not to touch her very expensive things. Lucy, who's turned into a real hard ass in one week, is telling everyone that they're going to have to work nights to land this account. Lynette tries to get off Friday to coach her daughter's basketball team. Lucy tells her no way. As the meeting breaks up, Lynette appeals to Carlos about putting the breaks on Lucy and her hard-driving ways. He says he hired her to crack a whip and that's what she's doing. She asks him to do something to get her to ease up a bit so she can see her kids. He says he's in the same predicament and he'll see what he can do. Then he reminds her at work he's not her neighbor but her boss. Then she asks if Tom and Lynette are still coming over for cocktails on Saturday. Lynette says yes, she plans to drink and complain about her boss.
At Orson's psychology appointment Bree is mad that they haven't gotten to the bottom of Orson's kleptomania. Orson says they have and admits that he steals to hurt her. He says that since her business success she's slowly turning him into a eunuch. She asks the doctor to leave. He offers to stay and help. She sends him out for aspirin. She tells Orson she doesn't deserve this since she's been nothing but supportive since he got out of jail and gave him a job. He wanted to be a partner. She doesn't understand why he's taking this rage out on her since she's his loving wife. But, he's not her husband he says. He says he thought he wouldn't mind being Mr. Bree Van De Kamp but every day he feels smaller and if it doesn't change Orson Hodge is going to disappear.
Carlos comes home to put the girls to bed and tells Gaby he has to go back to work. She's sad he has to leave. He says the two zeroes on the end of his paycheck come with these hours. She tries to get him to do her on the table but he doesn't have time.
Edie's at her fax machine in her kitchen calling McCluskey to see if she has fax paper. She has one message stored but, oops no paper. McCluskey doesn't so Edie says she'll head to the store tomorrow and get some and also pick up a few things for her too.
Susan overlooks her kids' drawings, handing out gold stars to various kids. Karl's son Evan has drawn a man stabbing someone with a sword complete with a large pool of blood. She says the assignment was to draw something that makes him happy. He says the drawing is funny and does make him happy.
Gaby is bummed everyone is working so she comes over to gossip with Tom. He's got no good gossip. She says they'll start with bitching. She complains about Carlos never being home and being too tired to have sex with her. (Tom can't believe a drought for them is two weeks.) He says guys always want to do it, and that she has to get past the tired adult and get to the horny teenager inside. She likes this advice.
Susan has had Karl called down to the headmaster's office about Evan's alarming drawing. The headmaster steps out and Karl yells at Susan. He says it's really about her hating him and that she's still punishing him for mistakes in their marriage. She calls it a load of crap. The headmaster returns and is aghast at the level of their anger especially from his new employee towards a parent of a student. After throwing paint in Karl's face, she comes clean and tells the headmaster that they used to be married.
Bree is on the phone with a man, Dinsmore, whose company had expressed interest in buying her company. She had previously turned them down but is now ready to make a deal. Orson watches happily and takes her hand.
McCluskey has come over to pick up her groceries from Edie. McCluskey asks after Dave and Edie says he's camping. McCluskey makes a crack about it being a nice Boy Scout trip. Edie says she knows McCluskey thinks he's a creepy psycho but that he's had a sad life and she explains about his dead wife and daughter. McCluskey says she lost a kid and says it does things to you. She's extremely chagrined about how she's treated Dave. She invites Edie over a drink. The fax paper sits on the counter.
Bree waits in her office for her business meeting about the sale and looks over her magazine covers and awards longingly. Andrew enters to announce the dealmaker has arrived.
She serves him tea in the test kitchen and Orson explains why Bree is retiring, to spend time with the family, to become Mrs. Orson Hodge. He's near gleeful talking about how glad he is. Andrew looks sad for his mom. When they realize they've left the contracts up in the office, Orson offers to bring Dinsmore up to see it before the demolition. He's always wanted a game room. Andrew confronts Bree about letting Orson sell her business. Bree explains about Orson's feelings. Andrew says to buy him golf clubs or put him on lithium, not sell her company. Bree says she actually believes in the old-fashioned values she's written about and that sometimes wives have to make sacrifices for their husband. If she didn't do that, she says she would be a hypocrite. Andrew says he gets that but wonders why, if Orson loves her, he wants her to stop doing what makes her happy. Bree has no answer for that.
Lynette brings Lucy a figurine as a peace offering. Lucy nastily accuses Lynette of complaining to Carlos. Lynette admits she did but says she thought Carlos blew off her off. Lucy doesn't think that's much of a defense. Lucy tells her to consider Friday a work night and if Lynette is as bad at coaching as office politics Penny's team isn't missing anything.
Oson and Dinsmore come back with contracts. Bree asks Dinsmore to step outside for a moment. She tells Orson she just wants one more year to run her company. He says she made a promise and needs to stick to it and it's for his recovery. She talks about how it gave her joy, pride, and a sense of accomplishment and does he really want her to give that up. He says yes. Orson ushers Dinsmore back in and Bree says she's not selling, she's doing a second cookbook. Orson says he might start stealing again. Bree tells him to steal what he must but it won't be her company.
At the cabin, Mike sleeps on the couch after a long day of fishing. Katherine says to Dave he must be resting up for the big hike tomorrow. Dave says he won't make it on account of a bum knee, but that they should do it since it's romantic. She praises his upbeat attitude and his ability to naturally find the silver lining. He says it's not natural, he had to teach himself to be that way. His secret? Realizing that no one else was going to make him happy and that he had to do it himself. She asks if he is happy. He says he's getting there. He tells her to get some sleep.
It is late and Carlos is on the phone with Lucy wondering why she agreed to an early morning meeting while they're already overextended. Gaby tries to entice Carlos into bed in some sweet and sexy lingerie. Carlos tries to resist and says he thought they were waiting until the weekend. She says that's not her problem. He says it is and when Big Carlos is tired so is little Carlos. She tries to force the issue. He flips her and says he wants to spice it up and ties her to the headboard. She's liking this until he walks down to the couch to get some sleep.
Students are handing in paintings to Susan and she is praising them all. Until Evan. But then he hands her a pretty house. Of course it turns out it's not his but some little girl who asked him to turn it in. The one under it is his and it's a man stabbing a woman in the neck.
Edie finally goes to put the paper in the fax machine.
Mike and Katherine depart for the hike as Dave pretends to sleep as planned. He throws off the covers the moment they leave.
Edie putters as the fax comes through.
Dave runs through the woods with the gun.
Edie sees the story about Mike.
Dave has Katherine in his sights. His phone rings causing Dave to start. His gun goes off and just misses Katherine. He got a text, it reads: "I know everything come home now, Edie."
Dave pretends to come running to Mike and Katherine since he "heard" a gunshot. Katherine just wants to go home. They head back to pack up and head out.
Gaby opens up a box of beautiful shoes. The note from Carlos is an apology for the previous night. She tells the girls to get their clothes on since they're going to see daddy.
Susan has called Karl over to her house to look at the second drawing. Karl is upset and says he understands the drawing. The woman is Evan's mom, his wife. Susan wonders why Evan would draw a photo like that. Karl admits she left him six weeks ago. She said she was overwhelmed, loved Evan, but wasn't ready to be a mother. Karl says he's now alone, raising Evan, and it's obvious he's not doing a very good job. Karl says Susan must be loving this. She asks why. Since he did the same thing to her. She says, "oh yeah." He says he understands why she reacts the way she does when she bumps into him. He never really got the pain until now. She says she used to hope that he knew what this felt like and now that he does, she's so sorry. She puts her hand on his.
Gaby and the girls arrive and Gaby dumps them off at Lynette's office. She goes to Carlos mad that he tried to buy her off. He says she's the one who pushed him to take the job and now she's unhappy. She says she knows and she's sorry but that they're repeating old mistakes: him working too hard for the money, neglecting her, having no time for the kids, and getting unhappy. He says he's made a commitment and can't bail. She says that's the part that really scares her.
Juanita spies Lucy's figurine and wants to hold one. Lynette at first thinks it's a bad idea but then realizes it will drive Lucy insane and since it's the boss's kids she won't be able to do anything. Cut to the girls playing with the figurines, Lucy entering and screaming at them. She sees the Latina maid outside her office and automatically thinks the girls belong to her and starts patronizingly yelling at her about this company not being a daycare. Carlos and Gaby see this and wonder what's up. Lucy enraged says that some people, the maid, don't realize the difference between work and home. Carlos says he's actually some people since they're his kids. Lucy apologizes brusquely and tries to walk away. Carlos says she shouldn't talk to people like that. She says the stress of the deal is getting to her. He says the stress is getting to everyone. She says this is the price of success, a little evilness. He says he wants success but also a company that treats people right. If he doesn't want to be the best she's probably not his girl, says Lucy. Carlos says he was thinking the same thing. Lynette gleefully watches and then leans into Lucy's office and tells her not to forget her little animals.
Orson is making his bed on the couch. Bree wants him to come upstairs. He says too bad. She says she wants him to be happy. He says he does too and turns out the light. She heads upstairs. After she's gone he gets up.
Katherine, Mike, and Dave return as Orson walks out of his house. Orson spies an open window in a dark house.
Dave enters his house and discovers Edie with a glass of wine and the fax of the newspaper article. She says she now realizes why he wanted so badly to live on Wisteria Lane. Dave wants a chance to explain. Edie asks him to explain why he married her. He says because he loves her. Edie says he needed a cover story to get close to Mike. He calls that ridiculous. She agrees, it's insane. She wonders what he's going to do now, hurt Mike? She wonders what he's been waiting for? He tries to get her to go to bed. She calls him a freak and asks if he moved them there to hurt Mike. He admits that Mike destroyed his whole life and was never punished so he has to do something. She cries and wonders why he had to do this since they could've been happy. She grabs the phone and idiotically announces that she's going to call Mike and warn him. Dave grabs the phone and begins to choke her. He stops and she falls to the floor. She flees the house.
Inside the empty house Orson- wearing a ski mask- grabs a figurine. The owner of the house whacks him with a baseball bat and he runs.
Edie is driving frantically, in tears, trying to dial her cell phone, Orson has staggered into the street. She sees him right before she hits him and swerves into a utility pole. She survives this as well but when she hit the pole she dislodged an electrical wire so when she gets out of the car, stepping into a pool of water, she is electrocuted, just as Mary Alice returns to tells us that life is full of unpleasant shocks. But after Edie falls to the ground, the last image we see is her hand twitching.
To Be Continued...