Theodore: [upon Dave asking where Aunt Jackie is] She's practicing her pole dancing.
Theodore: You mean, you don't stay with us at school?
Toby: No, no, no, no, no, I've done my time. Thank you very much.
Theodore: Simon, does this make my butt look smaller?
Simon: Theodore, your butt looks fine. Those guys are just jerks.
Brittany: Hey Ian! In the words of The Donald, "You're fired!"
Alvin: Come on, Alvin! Remember your 5 D's: dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge!
Eleanor: Ian says that I need to work on being taller.
Theodore: Well, I think you look great just the way you are.
Theodore: [Introducing himself to girls] Hi, I'm Theodore. Hi, I'm Theodore. Hi, I'm Theodore.
Simon: [Covering Theodore's mouth and muffling words] Yes, he's Theodore, in case you missed it, and I'm Simon.
Dave: Well, I guess since you answered the phone you haven't burned down the house yet.
Alvin: Si, don't make me have to kiss you because I'll do it! I don't care! Here come the lips! Makeout train is leaving the station! Toot toot!
Ian: What part of "singing female chipmunks" don't these people understand?
Alvin: Whoops! Well, it looks like it's time to play my second favorite game: hide the broken TV from Dave. You wanna play?
Alvin: Who's Aunt Jackie?
Theodore: The one who sends us those metal buckets of yummy popcorn for Christmas.
Alvin: Oh, Popcorn Jackie.
Toby: What was school like for me? Uh, in a word: awesome. But, you know, that's 'cause I was like extremely popular.
Simon: Is that why you still live with your grandma?
Alvin: And refer to yourself as "The Tobester?"
Theodore: And go
[imitating video game]
Theodore: pyu pyu pyu all day?
Theodore: We're the chipmunks!
Dr. Rubin: Yes, that would explain the fur and the bushy tails. Follow me, gentlemen.
Alvin: Dave, just think how much you'd miss us if there were six of us.
Dave: Alvin, what did you say?
Alvin: Well, the chipettes needed a place to crash, right? So I said that you said they could stay with us as long as they needed to.
Dave: Alvin, you need to share the spotlight. It's not all about you.
Alvin: Sorry, Dave. I can't hear you over the thousands of fans screaming my name.
Alvin: [as Robert DeNiro] You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? I'm the only one here, so you must be talking to me.
Alvin: I'm not going anywhere without Da-...
Alvin: ... -aydream believer and a homecoming queen.
Doctor: I hope for your sake he stays asleep for the entire flight.
Simon: Maybe we should give him another shot just to be sure.
Alvin: There's something wrong with the clock! It won't shut up! I can't sleep!
Toby: That's the point. It's an alarm clock. It helps you wake up early in the morning.
Alvin: Why would anyone want to wake up early?
Toby: [singing] Ever since I met you, I wanted to be your guy...
Toby: But as you probably noticed, I'm pathologically shy,
Toby: And standing on this stage right now I think I'd rather die,
Toby: So I'm just going to start by saying "... hi..."
Alvin: Boy! I suddenly got really, really tired.
Alvin: [laughs] Night, Dave!
Dr. Rubin: [about her chipmunk tattoo] It was my birthday and I was like "oh the chipmunks!" So, what do you say? will you represent our school?
Alvin: Honestly, suspension still sounds pretty good to me.
Simon: Au contraire, mon frere. I'm just going to elegantly show you how its done.
Alvin: [entering classroom for the first time] Ah, I love the smell of zitcream in the morning!
Alvin: [as Hannibal Lecter] I'm going crack you like an acorn and eat you for dinner with some fava beans and a nice chianti!
Footballer: Did he say something about my father?
Ryan: Somebody's going to have to knock those guys down to size.
Xander: That should be pretty easy. I mean, they're only eight inches tall.
Alvin: Oh, I didn't realize I pocket-dialed 1-800-LOWLIFE.
Alvin: [fighting over a blanket with Simon] You might as well be rooting out truffles in the French countryside because you are in fact hogging!
Ian: I had fifteen cars. That's like five more cars than anybody really needs.
Alvin: Hello, Humane Society? Yes, I need help! A man is after us! He wants to take us to a terrible place... school!
Alvin: Do you know what Dave would say if he were here right now?
Alvin: Not bad, but I think it needs to come more from the belly.