Baby on Board (2009) Poster

(2009)

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2/10
Big Disppointment
ungerbug15 June 2009
I was anticipating this film because of the great cast and the internet preview. This film had the potential to be good...and funny and I tried to really tried to get into it. However, it made me so uncomfortable, I could barely watch it in its entirety. It just kept getting more and more obnoxious and offensive. The jokes were over the top disgusting. It left me feeling like my intelligence and dignity had been compromised. I didn't mind the overused slapstick, but combined with the sick sexual humor I was left wondering "WHY?" Where was the talent? What do they teach in film school these days? In all fairness, I think that Heather Graham did the best she could. She deserves better material. We all do!!
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2/10
Possibly the most horrible Heather Graham film yet
tan_pandit6 June 2009
I am a fan of Heather Graham, but this movie .... It is even worse than the universally panned "Say it Isn't So", which, apart from the great Sally Fields was bad even for a straight-to-DVD film. How come HG can't choose a good film ? Fart 'jokes', puke gross-out 'gags' and the like should indicate a bad script. She can be a really great actress when she wishes; does she not wish ? The premise is HG's character ( "character" ) has to market a new perfume designed for pregnant women. The usual tales of unfaithful husbands, pregnancies, and work mishaps ensue for our heroine, the 'best friend', and the inevitable gay friend. Oh dear. I would call it juvenile, but even juveniles would not find anything to take home. I give this a 2 since it has Heather Graham in it. Otherwise it would be in negative numbers.
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1/10
there is a reason you never saw this movie in a theater near you
femprof17 May 2009
GOD AWFUL. This movies is the the kind of crap actors make when they are first starting out, not when they are established. I have NO IDEA how big name actors ended up in the trite mishmash of misogynistic stereotypes. Laura Flynn Boyle looks like a poster child for cosmetic interventions gone awry. The other actors are decent in their roles since they are fairly good in most anything, but the dialog is contrived, the plot reminiscent of fraternity flicks, and the overall affect is just plain embarrassing for all involved. All I can figure is that some body made a deal with the devil or the script changed considerably after the stars signed on. No distributor was willing to take it on, so Baby on Board had only limited release. No doubt based on its star power, DVD showings will be better, but this film is not even worth your basic veg out in front of the TV trial.
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1/10
i
vic_lila5 September 2009
This is the first movie in my life that I could not watch to the end. All the actors must have been horrified when they saw the thing finished, if they could bring themselves to watch it. I know it has been said that no body sets out to make a bad movie, but if they did...this would be it. The dialogue does not sound like any living people I've ever listened too. The crudeness of the sexual jokes were on a level so creepy that we needed to have the living room fumigated and blessed after taking the DVD out of the house. Heather Graham works so hard with this disgusting script that she deserves some kind of award but mostly she needs therapy to answer the question,"what were you thinking?" Just awful, don't even try to see this movie.
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1/10
Just rubbish, plain and simple, been done 50 times already
nanohead26 July 2009
I just don't know what studio people are thinking when agree to make something like this. The general storyline has been done 100 times.. you know, philandering men, women who are insecure, dysfunctional relationships, an upstart in the office waiting for her big break, lots of cursing and bad sex jokes, seductive goldigger wives, divorce court drama, etc.

But this film was even worse than it sounds. I can usually watch almost anything, even total c grade junk. But this looked like even the players were in pain trying to say their lines. Lara Flynn Boyle looked more botoxed out than Joan Rivers, the men in it are all snakes and liars, everyone is cheating on everyone, and not one line is funny. The fart jokes are even horrible (which is pretty hard to screw those up) All in all, this was another horrible waste of perfectly good celluloid. Not sure what Heather Graham was thinking here either, as she has now added to her list of atrocious films.
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2/10
Little to no redeeming value
telecomladyj19 August 2009
I just watched this on Nflix, and now I know why I had never heard of this movie before. The atrocities against celluloid started with the opening credits/graphics, and never got any better. I can appreciate low brow humor when it's actually funny, and this just wasn't. I don't mean in an "I don't get it" kind of way, or "eww that's just gross!". I can appreciate gross, obscene, bathroom humor, whatever- when it's done by someone who knows how. All I can say is: Heather, Jerry, John-- why? why??? Never have so many of my favorite actors so completely crushed my hopes for a decent film. If you are in a Clockwork Orange-type situation and someone ties you down, forcing you to watch it, beg for mercy and have them forward to the outtakes. That at least won't make you retch so badly.
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4/10
Perplexing Message
julia-savitch29 June 2009
Warning: Spoilers
What I really didn't understand about this movie is how come Curtis - the divorce lawyer - is portrayed as a "positive" figure. Look at the people he has been representing: - a shameless cheater who denies the fact of his cheating and refuses to follow the pre-naptual agreement with his wife (and Curtis attacks his wife without a slightest disturbance of conscience); - a bitch who wants to rob her elderly husband and also sexually harasses Curtis; - finally, a complete scoundrel whose case no other lawyer agrees to take on moral grounds (cheats on wife with an "imported" Russian girl, to whom he is lying that he is going to marry her)

And the fact that at the end Curtis acts against his client and discloses the client's private information to his wife does not help at all. Either refuse to take a case or, if already taken, deal with it ethically. Breaking the professional ethics code makes Curtis into an even bigger scum.

I was waiting for a "change of heart" or something like that to happen to Curtis at the end, whereby he would commit to not protecting complete scoundrels and criminals any more, but nope, not a sign of it...

Interesting message this is sending to the viewers in terms of morality and ethics...
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1/10
Silly & Stupid
merylmatt18 July 2009
Warning: Spoilers
My wife and I watched it, neither one of us laughed at all. Jerry O'Connell plays husband to Heather Graham and is your Hollywood version of a well intended, bumbling husband. Somehow, he is supposed to be a great divorce attorney when he doesn't have a mean bone in his body. Pretty faces for guys and girls in this movie, unnecessary f-bombs poor script writing that no one, no matter how talented, could save this disaster.

************************POSSIBLE SPOILER**************************** He and Heather are going to have a baby, and mistakes, miscommunication ensue. The comedy that is supposed to ensue afterwords does not. Both take advice (poor) from best friends in the middle of their own crisis. Complete and total suspension of disbelief is needed to get through this clunker. An insult to real world relationships everywhere.
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2/10
Unbelievably Bad....Don't waste your time and your money
widlasl3 October 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The Director Brian Herzlinger and the Writers Michael Hamilton-Wright (written by) Russell Scalise (screenplay) should not be allowed to do another film. At least not together.

With the great collection of actors assembled here, there was every expectation that the movie would have been better; much better. I like all of the actors and have seen them play extremely well in other films, yet in this one they all seem to be so, so lost; that had I had never seen these folks before, I would have believed that they were all high school kids doing a bad high school play. (And I have seen much better high school plays)

I watched it in pain hoping that at some point the talent and the timing and the writing would kick in -- never happened !!!! What a waste of talent and my time. I really wanted to see this group work. What missed potential.

Apparently the film was taken out of director Brian Herzlinger's hands and re-edited by the producers. So was it their doing or was it so bad that they couldn't save it?

*** This comment contain spoilers *** (Would that even be possible?)

Director, Brian Herzlinger, is a nude massage parlour patron in one scene. (That speaks for itself)

Russell Scalise, the writer/producer appears as a valet that Heather Graham covers in vomit. (Was this a form of self punishment?)

Don't waste your time and your money.
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1/10
Embarrassingly bad...
alassnsane13 October 2010
I can say without reservation, that, considering the talent of the cast and the standard one would expect, this has to be one of the worst movies I have seen in recent (or even in distant) history.

Imagine if a 15yo or an immature frat boy were handed a terrific cast and the script and direction of what was once your standard baby related comedy and you'll have Baby on Board pretty well pegged.

Gaaa...over and over again I found myself asking just "Why?" or cringing at the lines spewing forth from one of my favorite's (John Corbett) lips...and John? What were you thinking?..sheesh, feel like I need a shower now.

Simply godawful.
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7/10
Not an epic but good fun
JenEvans118 June 2009
OK, so after reading the other comments I was expecting the film to be dire. But it was, in fact, quite funny. I laughed out loud in some places and I'm sorry if you folks don't find the fact that pregnant women fart or that old guys have dangly balls funny but I'm not too high brow myself and I actually liked this film a lot. It held my attention, and I was in fact still smiling as the credits rolled.

I'd happily recommend it to anyone who wants a bit of fun without the nastiness and drama that lots of films (even comedies) feel obliged to dole out.

So why not give it a chance?
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10/10
Very funny, highly recommended (if you like this genre)
jeffreedomlc2 February 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Great movie! Okay, so I have been coming to IMDb for years to read movie reviews, and this is the first time I have felt compelled to register and write a review. That is because I feel the ratings and reviews for this movie are way off target. I watched this movie with my wife, who happens to be pregnant, and we laughed out loud. After reading the reviews, we expected this movie to suck. However, we could find very little wrong with it. I think the negative ratings here are based on people going to see the wrong movie. I am not going to watch Saw III and then come here and give it two stars because it is too gory and has a weak plot (which I can only assume that it does). That is just not the type of movie I enjoy. I wouldn't complain that I didn't like the "message." What kind of message did you get from the movie Airplane? The characters in Baby on Board are not role models. I had to explain to my wife what a fleshlight is. How many times have you seen a fleshlight in a movie? If a fleshlight offends you, don't watch this movie. If not, I highly recommend Baby on Board!
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8/10
A powerful message to pre and married couples
lippylip2611 August 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Before I review the movie I just want to add a foreword to this movie There are many movies with hidden messages This is one of them The movie might be crude rude and have nudity in it but the message behind it is so so important to couples who are planning to get married or are married Assumption is the Mother of ALL misunderstandings which leads to divorce Never assume ANYTHING COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE Never say YOU KNOW WHAT DID without explaining what you saw Things are sometimes not what they seem As I said If you can get past the crudeness crass behavior and nudity the message this movie conveys is so so important

Now to the review The story is very simple A newly married couple are trying to kick start their careers Very understandably They decide on holding back on having a baby until they are more established She gets a prime assignment that she can't afford to mess up on He is a newly established lawyer She suddenly discovers that she is pregnant It is a total shock to her as they were taking precautions She walks back to their home in a daze protesting to everyone on the way I'm NOT PREGNANT In that state she walks past a restaurant only to see a woman straddling her husband on his lap This heightens her despondency and blinds her even more to evaluating what she is seeing He was trying to push the woman off his lap because he felt uncomforstble

When he gets home he is confronted by a very depressed and fuming wife When he asks her whats wrong Her response is very abrupt and to the point YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID He is very confused and frustrated because he has absolutely no idea what she is talking about When he taxes her again he gets the same YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID and no more They become very estranged from each other and the situation is farther confused by his one friend who raises the suspicion that SHE was having an affair behind his back because he was using condoms to prevent pregnancy and her mother who also stirs things up Both he and she refuse to move out and that sets the scene for some comical yet sad moments His friend is a bit of a philander and tries to set him up with a girl but even though his upset and confused as to her behavour he still loves his wife and refuses to break his marriage up For Nine months the two of them are at loggerheads with each other At a time when she needs all the support and comfort because of the pregnancy which really makes the situation very sad It's only nine months later as she's about to have the baby that the whole situation is resolved Nine wasted months of stupidity caused by non communication and assumption While this movie is not one for the best movies around due to the crass language nudity and crudeness the message it imparts makes it a movie that SHOULD be watched Just for the message it conveys Don't assume anything Comunicate Talk

This is just one of the movies that have hidden positive messages in them Don't just watch a movie just for the sake of watching a movie and try to pick out all the mistakes made Watch it to find those hidden messages and view them in a positive light on how best to improve yourself

Some movies with hidden positive messages are Mary Poppins A Cinderella Story Legally Blonde 1 and 3 Maid in Manhattan It's a Wonderful Life Just to name a few
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8/10
Communication is important to avoid heartbreak. Jumping to conclusions is sad
lippylip2619 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
While this is not the very best of movies and most people are panning this movie as been immature (there are some scenes that are very crass below the belt juvenile and offensive there is a very strong message in this movie that many people are missing Spoiler ahead You have a happily couple The wife wants to establish her career first before settling down to have a baby Hubby wants one A faulty condom and baby's on board Tie a philandering friend into the equation and advice from friends who only make things worse and you unfortunately land up with a disaster waiting to happen A indiscretion through no fault of the husband and seen by his wife lands up in a 9 month nightmare for both because she takes it for granted that what she saw was his doing and does not let him explain the true situation Result near divorce. A breakup of a marriage Heartbreak It is important. In a relationship to keep communication paths open and not just jump to conclusions
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7/10
Very Enjoyable
BlackCrowSA11 December 2011
I really enjoyed this movie, started out looking like a story that's been played over and over again, and wondered off into humorous outlook of the true tragedy of how easily relationships fall apart, and generally how careers, friends and life have a funny way of becoming real obstacles for true happiness. It still borders on the typical chick flick, but it is a feel good movie with allot of drama and comedy, and great to watch with a partner.

I would say watch this movie for a different perspective on married life, the importance of communication in a relationship, and for a good laugh at the comedy of errors that unfold.
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3/10
Why so many Asian stereotypes?
stephanieyuhas4 January 2014
I wasn't expecting an epic masterpiece - just a fun popcorn film ala "Knocked Up". But I couldn't help but get distracted by how many Asian stereotypes are in this film, from the offensive portrayal of the caretaker at the "Korean handjob house" to the slutty Asian prostitute to the CEO of the Japanese company with the freaking SAMURAI SWORD! I've worked with tons of Japanese business men - I assure you, they do not come dressed ready for battle. I didn't mind the fart/ball/juvenile humor at all, but I just found the writing choice of the Asian characters a bit strange. This movie is going to play like an uncomfortable old timey movie where people are in black face - NOT FUNNY. Not relevant. Not appropriate.
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