Harry: So, I'll take you out and show you my prop van in a bit, but first, coffee. How do you like it?
Linda: Weak and white, like my men.
Mike Francis: Well, I don't think anyone has seen a final quite like that, and I do not in any way mean that in a positive sense.
Tony White: Good evening Jersey!
[minimal applause from audience]
Tony White: Is that it? Bloody hell, you gave the Nazis a warmer welcome than that.
Mike Francis: This man has been the future of magic for nigh on twenty years now!
Mike Francis: [a Veteran Magician has put out a cigarette on his tongue and swallowed it] Yes, very good, thankyou.
Mike Francis: You know, there's no technique to any of that. He just takes the pain. Sick bastard.