Dave Goelz: The Great Gonzo

Quotes 

  • Miss Piggy : I wish I could be Cinderella.

    [Gonzo suddenly appears, dressed as a fairy] 

    The Great Gonzo : Whoa! Sorry, landings aren't my specialty.

    Miss Piggy : Who are you?

    The Great Gonzo : Why, I am your fairy god... er, thing, and I am here to grant you three wishes.

    [Miss Piggy gasps; to camera] 

    The Great Gonzo : I hope you people are getting the "Pigarella" story structure here.

    Miss Piggy : Oh, Fairy God... er, thing, I want to be Cinderella and be admired for my great beauty.

    The Great Gonzo : Are you serious? Don't you know you're a pig?

    Miss Piggy : [offended]  Hey! Listen, buzzard beak!

    The Great Gonzo : Leave my nose out of this!

    Miss Piggy : Oh, I wish your nose would just blow up!

    [suddenly, Gonzo's long nose explodes] 

    The Great Gonzo : Wow, look what you did!

    Miss Piggy : Oh, I'm so sorry! I wish I haven't had said that!

    [suddenly, Gonzo's nose is back to normal] 

    The Great Gonzo : Aw, gee, I kinda liked my nose like that. Well, you have one more wish left. Why don't you wish my other nose back? I think it gave me class.

    Miss Piggy : Oh, I wish you'd be more serious!

    [suddenly, Gonzo's fairy costume turns into that of a businessman] 

    The Great Gonzo : That was your third wish. Here is your receipt. Goodbye!

    Miss Piggy : [grabbing Gonzo by the neck]  Hold it, beaky-brain! You are going to get me one more wish so I can Cinderella! Comprende?

    The Great Gonzo : [gasping for breath]  I can't give you any more wishes! It's the rule! Besides, you broke my wand.

    Miss Piggy : All right! We'll do this my way, but you are going to help! Come on!

  • Cinderella : Gosh, Gonzo, I wonder where your parents are?

    The Great Gonzo : Never mind them. Let's talk about us. Is this thing with you and the prince serious? I mean, can you see other people? Hey, hey! Did anyone ever tell you you have great nostrils?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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