Peter McMillian: I'll tell you what. Here's my card and if you ever do have a problem or you just feel like talking, give me a call, okay?
Bree: I know you think I'm kidding myself, but I'm not. I'm nothing like you people. I just don't have a compulsive personality.
Eugene Beale: Libby's a pole dancer in a strip club.
Gabrielle: Oh! Wow, that, that sounds like interesting work.
Libby: You'd think so, but it gets old quickly. My big dream is to become a choreographer.
Libby: Yeah. I made up this one move. It's called the serpent's tongue, and all the girls at the club are doing it now. It's so cool. If I had a pole I could show you.
Carlos: Well, we'll have to go down to the club and check that out. We'll make a night of it.
Susan: I need you to ditch Edie tomorrow night and have dinner with Dr. Ron and me.
Karl: Now why would I do that?
Susan: Well, for starters, because you banged your secretary and you owe me for the rest of your life.
Karl: I'll bring the wine.
Bree: Well, I'm still appalled that you're helping my son with this ridiculous emancipation scheme, but you are a guest in my house and guests get sandwiches.
Andrew Van De Kamp: You know, if you'd let me go to his office, you wouldn't have to pretend to be nice to him.
Bree: Andrew, there may be a judge out there stupid enough to emancipate you, but until you find him, I retain all my parental rights. One of which is to ground your sorry behind until kingdom come. Mr. Bormanis, nice to see you again, and, um, please don't get crumbs on my carpet.
Bree: Tonight was a very unusual situation. I wish you could've known me when Rex was alive and my kids were young and everything was the way it was supposed to be. I think you really would've liked me so much.
Peter McMillian: I like you just fine.
Bree: Really? Because I don't.
Gabrielle: First of all, I am gonna show her one of our tax returns. Once she sees how much money we have, I have a hunch we are gonna look a whole lot whiter.
Carlos: Oh, my god. Are you trying to say that you don't want Deanna's baby because she's plain?
Gabrielle: No, plain I can handle. Carlos, since that woman has walked into our house, the clocks have stopped working.
Carlos: No one can predict what a child is gonna look like. For all you know, her kid could end up winning beauty contests.
Gabrielle: With her D.N.A., the only thing that kid's gonna be winning is best in show.
Carlos: That was our lawyer. Libby rejected us as parents.
Gabrielle: What? That's discrimination. It's illegal. We could have her arrested.
Carlos: It's her baby. She can do whatever the hell she wants to with it. Damn it.
Gabrielle: No! No, you don't just toss people aside because of the color of their skin.
Carlos: We tossed those birth mothers aside because of their appearance.
Gabrielle: Well, that's different.
Gabrielle: Because I've read the constitution and it does not protect ugly people.