Matt Albie : Are you people using the confidential information that Danny failed a drug test to force him into taking over Studio 60 to deflect attention from what happened on the air tonight?
Jack Rudolph : [long pause] ... He failed a drug test?
Jordan McDeere : Yeah, actually Matt, I was the only one who knew about that. Shoulda trusted me a little, Danny.
Matt Albie : [to Danny] Sorry about that, that one was all me.
Danny Tripp : Yeah.
Matt Albie : [to everyone] Ironically, I'm the one who's high as a paper kite right now, but legitimately. I had back surgery Tuesday. L5 S1, if that means anything to you. Stop talking now? Yeah, you bet.
Jack Rudolph : There's gonna be a press conference at noon on Monday announcing that you two are running "Studio 60". I know I can count on you to answer questions in a way that doesn't embarass the National Broadcasting System. Will that be hard for you?
Matt Albie : I wouldn't think it'd be hard for anybody, cause if you pointed a camera at two people masturbating it'd be among the least embarassing things on the National Broadcasting System. I'll tell Blair to start working on the deal.
Jordan McDeere : I've already got a dual masturbation show in active development, so...
Jordan McDeere : Well, there are gonna be some horny psycho-religious cults tonight.