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Morley Mudd: A very embarrassed astronomy professor at Caltech admits that he miscalculated. Instead of four trillion years from now, the Sun will burn out a week from Tuesday.

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Connie Casavez: You housewives - pay attention to our next report; it may save your marriage. We'll be broadcasting a five-part series on homemakers who are seduced by fast-talking delivery men with 16-inch pizzas.

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Eddie Murphy: I guess you don't think - when you're stealin' a bike, you just think, "Get that bike and leave." You don't work on the chain, and go, "You know, maybe one day I might be on The Tonight Show!"

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Eddie Murphy: A lot of actors say, like, they don't mind when critics give them bad reviews. I want to punch the critic in the eye after they say somethin'.

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