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"That '70s Show" That '70s Pilot (TV Episode 1998) Poster

(TV Series)

(1998)

Quotes

Showing all 15 items

[to Hyde]

Fez: I might not say this right because I am new to English, but she has tremendous breasts, yes?

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Reginald "Red" Forman: [to Eric] If I find one beer can in that car, it's over.

Kitty Forman: And no donuts either.

[Red looks at Kitty puzzled]

Kitty Forman: Ants.

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Bob Pinciotti: Red, a Toyota?

Reginald "Red" Forman: Yeah, it's mine. I tell you the last time I was that close to a Japanese machine, it was shooting at me.

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[Eric says they can go to Canada]

Donna Pinciotti: I think Canada closes at 9:30.

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Michael Kelso: That's Fez. He's a foreign exchange student.

Jackie Burkhart: Who did we exchange for him?

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Donna Pinciotti: [as the boys look over a men's-magazine centerfold] Hunh. I see that every day.

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Steven Hyde: [The first circle] Is Red still thinking of giving you the car maybe ?

Michael Kelso: Even if we do get it, we're gonna need serious gas money because the Cruiser's a boat

Eric Forman: I know the cruiser's a boat, this whole gas shortage bites

Fez: Who's getting a boat?

Steven Hyde: There's no such thing as gas shortage man, its all fake, the oil companies control everything like I heard about this guy who invented a car that runs on water man, its got a fiber glass, air cooled engine and it runs on water!

Fez: So it is a boat?

Steven Hyde: No its a car only you put water in the tank instead of gas

Michael Kelso: [laughing] I haven't heard of this car, hey Jackie's good for gas money

Eric Forman: You are such a whore

Fez: When does the boat get here whore?

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[first scene of the series: May 17, 1976. 8:47 p.m. The gang is at the Formans' basement]

Steven Hyde: Eric, it is time.

Eric Forman: Why don't you do it?

Steven Hyde: It's your house.

Michael Kelso: Your house!

Steven Hyde: [points upward] Listen to them up there. The party has reached critical mass. In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities.

Eric Forman: If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me!

Steven Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Michael Kelso: Don't worry about it! Just remain calm, keep moving...

Donna Pinciotti: And above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair.

Eric Forman: What's wrong with your dad's hair?

Donna Pinciotti: Just don't look at it.

Steven Hyde: [grabs Eric's face] And Eric: cold. Definitely cold.

[Eric nods. Hyde pats him on the shoulder. Eric begins to run up the stairs. He pauses, looks back down, and continues]

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Steven Hyde: [The first circle] Is Red still thinking of giving you the car man ?

Michael Kelso: Even if we do get it, we're gonna need serious gas money because the Cruiser's a boat

Eric Forman: I know the cruiser's a boat, this whole gas shortage bites

Fez: Who's getting a boat?

Steven Hyde: There's no such thing as gas shortage man, its all set up by the government, everything's controlled by the oil companies like I heard about this guy who invented a car that runs on water man, its fiber glass, air cooled and it runs on water!

Fez: So it is a boat?

Steven Hyde: No its a car but instead of gas you put water in the tank

Michael Kelso: [laughing] I haven't heard of this car, hey Jackie's good for gas money

Eric Forman: You are such a whore

Fez: When does the boat get here whore?

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Donna Pinciotti: Eric, relax. We've lived next door to each other forever. You could've had me when I was four.

Eric Forman: Really? And there I was all day long on the hippity hop.

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Eric Forman: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.

Steven Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

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Donna Pinciotti: Oh, have I told you how incredibly attractive you are Eric?

Eric Forman: No.

Michael Kelso: You told me he was cute.

Donna Pinciotti: No I didn't.

Michael Kelso: I remember, because you said not to say anything in front of Eric.

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[the battery of Eric's car is dead]

Randy: So, what, you want a battery? 'Cause I can get you a battery.

Eric Forman: Are they cheap, or possibly free?

Randy: Thirty-two bucks, minimum.

Michael Kelso: All right, I'll tell you what. We'll trade you our battery plus five bucks for one of your batteries.

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Jackie Burkhart: Michael! Don't tell our private conversations to other people Michael. We have to have our own private conversations!

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Kitty Forman: [to Eric] A car is not a bedroom on wheels.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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