Hawkeye is bored and tired, the best time to pen another missive to his father. He describes Klinger's sheer white wedding gown, which does little to hide his white boxer shorts but is better than Hawkeye's naked dining fiasco. There is more fun to be had over Hotlips' recent tiff with Frank; he got drunk on gin and confided that his own brother used to call him Ferret Face. Radar is now a real, honest to goodness mail order graduate. But, Captain Casey, the new boy genius of their surgical team, is not really a doctor; Hawkeye's failure to throw the book at him causes Casey to reassess his career choices: and an R.C. priest named Schwartz is born. Henry conducts the doctors playing and Hotlips singing "My Blue Heaven" but no one is listening. Hotlips is really selling it, but it is hard to get the Army behind any color but olive drab,
Did You Know?
Frank got his nickname "Ferret Face", not from Hawkeye, but from his brother as a child. He confesses this to Hawkeye after getting drunk on gin from the Swamp's still. See more
When walking into the mess tent "naked," not only can you see Hawkeye wearing boxers, but they change. When he first goes in, they are army green. When Trapper comes in, they are white. See more
Major Franklin Marion Burns
Can't you ever be serious?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
I tried it once, but everybody laughed.
References King Kong
(I've Got a Gal in) Kalamazoo
Music by Harry Warren
Lyrics by Mack Gordon
Sung by Larry Linville See more