"Life on Mars" Episode #1.1 (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)


John Simm: Sam Tyler


  • Sam Tyler : I had an accident and I woke up 33 years in the past. Now, that either makes me... a time-traveller or... a lunatic, or I'm lying in a hospital bed in 2006 and none of this is real.

  • Sam Tyler : I need a drink.

    Gene : That's the first sensible thing you've said since you got here.

  • [to a suspect about a diary entry] 

    Sam Tyler : From the diary, quote: "I killed her. She's been killed. I'm a killer, an ace killer." That particular entry is not awash with ambiguity.

  • Sam Tyler : I need you to connect me to a Virgin number. A Virgin mobile...

    Operator : Don't you start that sexy business with me, young man, I can trace this call.

  • Sam Tyler : Which part of my subconscious do you hail from?

  • Gene : They reckon you've got concussion - I couldn't give a tart's furry cup if half your brains are falling out. Don't *ever* waltz into my kingdom acting king of the jungle.

    Sam Tyler : Who the hell are you?

    Gene : Gene Hunt. Your DCI. And it's 1973. Almost dinner time. I'm 'aving hoops.

  • [Annie complies with Sam's request to hit him by punching him in the kidneys] 

    Sam Tyler : Ow! Shit!

    WPC Annie Cartwright : I'm sorry, sir.

    Gene : Aye aye, good girl, prostate probe and no jelly!

  • Gene : Right, we pulled a bird in, Dora Keane, she was the last person to see the victim alive.

    Sam Tyler : Is she a suspect?

    Gene : Nope, just a pain in the arse.

    Sam Tyler : Okay, alright, brief me in full. What do I need to know?

    Gene : She's a pain in the arse.

    Sam Tyler : What, so you've handed her into lost property?

    Chris Skelton : Well, we could use the canteen, but she's a right mouthy bird, this one.

    Sam Tyler : Hang on, you're going to do the interview in there?

    Gene : Thick walls.

  • Sam Tyler : Large whiskey, please.

    Nelson : [Speaking in a Jamaican accent]  Drink ain't gonna fix things. What am I saying? I run a pub. Of course it will fix things!

    Sam Tyler : I'm lost, Nelson, I'm really lost.

    Nelson : [Speaking in an east London accent]  You ain't lost, pal. You're where you are, and you have to make the best of it. It's all you can do.

    [Sam looks surprised] 

    Nelson : Keep to yourself, eh? Folks just seem happier with the other Nelson.

  • Nelson : What can I get you, man, raise your spirits?

    Sam Tyler : Diet Coke, please.

    [blank look on the landlord's face] 

    Sam Tyler : Just kidding, a pint of bitter.

  • Sam Tyler : When was the last time you saw Suzi?

    Dora Keens : In me dreams.

    Sam Tyler : How did she seem that night, did she, did she... mention... meeting anyone?

    Dora Keens : She was horny.

    Sam Tyler : Did she get into an argument with a... stranger?

    Dora Keens : I know the answer... It's blowin' in the wind.


  • [last lines] 

    Sam Tyler : What should I do, Annie?

    WPC Annie Cartwright : Stay.

  • [Sam and Gene going door to door] 

    Sam Tyler : We're looking for this woman, Dora Keynes. Approximately five foot two, curly brown hair, hazel eyes, fake topaz necklace.

    [At the next door, Gene snatches the photo from Sam before he can start] 

    Gene Hunt : We're looking for a short skinny bird, wears a big coat, lots of gob.

  • Sam Tyler : I need a drink.

    Gene Hunt : That's the first sensible thing you've said since you got here.

  • Sam Tyler : I don't know who the hell you lot think you are, but *this* is my office. Here. This is a door right here. And my *desk*... Where's my desk? Where's my DESK! Chair! PC Terminal!

    Ray Carling : Who? You want a constable up here?

  • Sam Tyler : Now the victim wasn't gagged. Why didn't he gag her, Annie?

    WPC Annie Cartwright : Because he needed to, er, he needed to see her mouth, her lips. We have to see the things that we value.

    Sam Tyler : Now put yourselves in the mind of this man. You're lonely. Every night you dream of this girl, and she's got big eyes and red ruby lips. So you go out and you find that girl, and you bring her home. But you don't gag her, 'cause you want to see those ruby lips, but you just can't bring yourself to kiss 'em.

    WPC Annie Cartwright : You'd get embarrassed, angry, you'd start to blame the girl. It's her fault. She's taunting him by just being there.

    Sam Tyler : And then one day you just snap. Strangle her, using bootlace, and the cycle starts all over again with a different girl. And this time, you're positive that you're going to be brave enough to kiss her.

    WPC Annie Cartwright : Only you won't be.

  • Gene Hunt : Hey reckon you've got concussion - but personally, I couldn't give a tart's furry cup if half your brains are falling out. Don't ever waltz into my kingdom playing king of the jungle.

    Sam Tyler : Who the hell are you?

    Gene Hunt : I'm Gene Hunt. Your DCI. And it's 1973. Nearly dinner time. I'm 'avin hoops

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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