Carlton Banks: [to Will about the PSAT] I don't believe it. You couldn't have done better than me. Somewhere there's an Asian Will Smith and he's really ticked.
William 'Will' Smith: Carlton, it was one measly little percentile point, all right? But, I won't hesitate to throw it in your face if you don't leave me alone.
Carlton Banks: Well, everyone still knows I have the superior intellect.
[sprays kitchen window]
William 'Will' Smith: Then, why are you using car wax on the window?
William 'Will' Smith: This a window, this is Windex. Can you say that, IittIe boy?
Philip Banks: There I was in the middle of an arbitration between two of my biggest clients, and I get pulled out because Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid here want to pull a fast one.
Philip Banks: Carlton, you can wear my old Princeton sweater today for good luck.
William 'Will' Smith: Or he could throw in the air and plug up that big hole in the ozone.
Geoffrey: [after Uncle Phil makes him an offer for a small raise] Thank you, sir, and with my newfound wealth, I shall be able to treat myself to a *Happy Meal*!
Carlton: Will, if I were you, I'd be preparing for the PSATs.
Will: Carlton, if I were you, I'd get a red nose and some big shoes and call it a day.
Carlton: Who said, "It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees"?
Will: I'm guessin' that one wasn't Madonna.
Carlton Banks: My life is over. I'll be expelled. They'll send me away. I'll have to get a jheri curl and a tattoo! I'll be subjected to overcrowding, bad food, and daily threats of personal violence.
William 'Will' Smith: They won't send you to prison for cheating on a test.
Carlton Banks: I'm not talking about prison. I'm talking about public school!