Borat: America national sport is called baseballs. It very similar to our sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field, and then have a party.
Ali G: Is the brain's memory any good?
Dr. C. Everett Koop: The brain's memory is perfect.
Ali G: Then how come I can't remember me pin number?
Dr. C. Everett Koop: Well...
Ali G: I think it's got like a "4" in it...
Dr. C. Everett Koop: I can give you a quick answer and say you're stupid.
Ali G: Well, that obviously ain't the real reason.
Dr. C. Everett Koop: Well, it's the beginning of truth.
[at baseball game]
Borat: Did you pay some money to the boss to make sure your side win?
Baseball fan: That is not done in baseball.
Borat: But maybe fifty dollar...
Baseball fan: No, no, no.
Borat: You want I pay him fifty dollar...?
Baseball fan: No, no, no, no, no.
Borat: I have forty thousand tampon, no applicator. You want I give to the umpire?
Baseball fan: I don't think so.
Borat: You think he will mind that there is no applicator?
[discussing Jesus Christ]
Ali G: What day is he meant to have been born on?
Catholic Priest: We celebrate his birth on the Twenty-Fifth of December.
Ali G: Ain't that a coincidence that he was born on Christmas Day?
Catholic Priest: No...