Michael Clayton (2007)
George Clooney: Michael Clayton
Michael Clayton : I'm not the guy you kill. I'm the guy you buy! Are you so fucking blind that you don't even see what I am? I sold out Arthur for 80 grand. I'm your easiest problem and you're gonna kill me?
Michael Clayton : Do I look like I'm negotiating?
Arthur Edens : Michael, I have great affection for you and you live a very rich and interesting life, but you're a bag man not an attorney. If your intention was to have me committed you should have kept me in Wisconsin where the arrest report, the videotape, eyewitness reports of my inappropriate behavior would have had jurisdictional relevance. I have no criminal record in the state of New York, and the single determining criterion for involuntary commitment is danger. Is the defendant a danger to himself or to others. You think you got the horses for that? Well good luck and God bless, but I'll tell you this: the last place you want to see me is in court.
Michael Clayton : I'm not the enemy.
Arthur Edens : Then who are you?
Michael Clayton : You're so fucked. Here let me get a picture while I'm at it.
Michael Clayton : Mr. Greer, you left the scene of an accident on a slow week night, six miles from a state police barracks. Believe me. If there's a line, you're right up front.
Mr. Greer : I can get a lawyer any time I want. I don't need you for that. We're not sitting here for forty five minutes for a god damned referral.
Michael Clayton : I don't know what Walter promised you but...
Mr. Greer : A miracle worker. That's Walter on the phone twenty minutes ago. Direct quote, okay, "Hang tight, I'm sending you a miracle worker."
Michael Clayton : Well he misspoke.
Mr. Greer : About what? That you're the firms fixer? Or that you're any good at it?
[explodes in anger]
Mr. Greer : The guy was RUNNING. In the STREET! You take that, you add the fog, you add the light, you add the... the angle. What the fuck is he doing running in the middle of the street at midnight? You answer me that, huh?
[Mrs. Greer throws a glass across the room, there's a long pause]
Mr. Greer : What if someone had stolen the car? Huh? Happens all the time.
Michael Clayton : Cops like hit and runs. They work them hard and they clear them fast. Right now there's a DCI unit pulling paint chips off a guard rail. Tomorrow they're going to be looking for the owner of a custom painted hand rubbed Jaguar XJ12. If the guy you hit, if he got a look at the plates? It won't even take that long.
[the phone rings]
Michael Clayton : There's no play here. There's no angle. There's no champagne room. I'm not a miracle worker, I'm a janitor. The math on this is simple. The smaller the mess the easier it is for me to clean up.
Mr. Greer : [points to the phone] That's the police isn't it?
Michael Clayton : No. They don't call.
Karen Crowder : You don't want the money?
Michael Clayton : Keep the money. You'll need it.
Don Jefferies : Is this fellow bothering you?
Michael Clayton : Am I bothering you?
Don Jefferies : Karen, I've got a board waiting in there. What the hell's going on? Who are you?
Michael Clayton : I'm Shiva, the God of death.
Michael Clayton : What can I tell you? Don't piss off a motivated stripper.
Michael Clayton : You're my meal ticket, Marty. If you leave, it's just me and Barry in a room and I'm trying to explain what the hell it is I do around here.
Henry Clayton : What?
Michael Clayton : Your uncle Timmy, and I mean this, on his best day, is never as tough as you. I'm not talking about crying or drugs or anything like that. I'm talking about in his heart. In his heart. Do you understand me? And all this charming bullshit. This Big Tim, Uncle Boss bullshit... and I know you love him and I know why... but when you see him like that you don't have to worry... because that's not how it's going to be for you. You're not going to be one of these people who goes through life wondering why shit keeps falling out of the sky around them. I know that. I know it. OK?
Michael Clayton : I see it every time I look at you. I see it right now. I don't know where you got it from, but you got it. OK?
Michael Clayton : [phone rings] Hold on...
Michael Clayton : What if Arthur was onto something?
Marty Bach : What do you mean? Onto what?
Michael Clayton : U North. What if he wasn't crazy, what if he was right?
Marty Bach : Right about what? We're on the wrong side?
Michael Clayton : Wrong side, wrong way. Anything. All of it.
Marty Bach : This is news? This case reeked from day one. Fifteen years in I gotta tell you how we pay the rent?
Michael Clayton : But what would they do, what would they do if he went public?
Marty Bach : What would they do? Are you fucking soft? They're doing it! We don't straighten this settlement out in the next twenty four hours, they're gonna withhold nine million dollars in fees. Then they're gonna pull out the video of Arthur doing his flashdance in Milwaukee, they're gonna sue us for legal malpractice. Except there won't be anything for them to win, because by then the merger with London will be dead and we'll be selling off the goddamn furniture!
[hands Michael an envelope]
Marty Bach : That's eighty. We're calling it a bonus. You've got a three year contract, that's your current numbers, that's assuming this all works out.
Arthur Edens : I look up and Marty's standing in my office with a bottle of champagne - he tells me we just hit thirty thousand billable hours on U-North and he wants to celebrate. An hour later, I'm in a whorehouse in Chelsea and two Lithuanian redheads are taking turns sucking on my cock. I'm laying there, I'm trying not to come, I'm trying to make it last, right? So I start doing the math - thirty thousand hours, what is that? Twenty-four times thirty - seven hundred twenty hours in a month, eight thousand seven hundred and sixty hours per year...
Michael Clayton : Arthur...
Arthur Edens : Wait! Because it's YEARS! It's lives! And the numbers are making me dizzy, and now I'm not just trying not to come, I'm trying not to THINK! But I can't stop. Is that me? Am I just some freak organism that's been put here to eat and sleep and spend my days defending this one horrific chain of carcinogenic molecules? Is this my place?
Michael Clayton : You promised me, Arthur.
Arthur Edens : Is that it, Michael? Is that my grail? Two Lithuanian mouths on my cock? Is that the correct choice to the multiple choice of me?
Barry Grissom : Look. I agreed to this, OK? But there's rules now. You want the contract, you're signing a confidentiality agreement; it's gonna be bulletproof, and it's gonna be retroactive. Because Marty's too nice to say it, but with everything you know about this place and the clients here and the people who work here, it makes it a little weird when you come in and ask for 80 grand.
Michael Clayton : If I was gonna shake anybody down, Barry, I'd come directly to you, and it wouldn't be for 80 grand.
Michael Clayton : Is this him, or is this you?
Barry Grissom : Hey, if I'm wrong, I apologize.
Michael Clayton : You're wrong. You're way the fuck wrong!
Barry Grissom : So there you go.
Michael Clayton : Uncle Timmy- and I mean this- on his best day, he was never as tough as you. And I'm not talking about crying or the drugs. I'm talking about in his heart. You understand me?
Henry Clayton : Okay.
Michael Clayton : Big Tim... Uncle Boss... all his charming bullshit. And I know you love him. And I know why. But when you see him like this, you don't have to be afraid, because it's not how it's gonna be for you. You're not gonna be one of those people who goes through life wondering why shit keeps falling out of the sky around them. You have some real steel in you, Henry. Inside. I see it every time I look at you. I see it right now.
[tries to smile]
Michael Clayton : I don't know where the hell you got it from, but you got it.
Player #2 : You don't remember me, huh? We played a couple of times at that lamp place. On Bowery. That guy's showroom. All the lamps and shit?
Michael Clayton : Galaxy
Player #2 : That's it. You had that restaurant you opened, right? On Franklin? 'Cause my old partner bid that job, the plumbing. You don't remember me?
Michael Clayton : I remember.
Player #2 : I lost a lot of weight since then.
Michael Clayton : You bought some hair.
Player #2 : Yeah, with your money.