In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks ...
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When Chloe (Kristen Dalton) and Michael Carpenter rent out the cottage behind their house to charming romance novelist, Robert Mars (David Arquette) their American dream soon turns into a suburban nightmare.
Mum and Dad, and their 'adopted' children, Birdie & Elbie, work at the airport. The family live off whatever they scavenge from cargo holds, offices and hotels - including a steady stream ... See full summary »
In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose.Written by
The man with the dog who speaks to David when he goes to the village telephone Is Doug Bradley, better known as 'Pin-Head' In the Hellraiser film franchise. See more »
When David drives to the nearby village to make the phone call he parks his car facing the opposite direction he is to return. After the call and after his encounter with the village folks he returns to his car and drives off without reversing his car. The car was automatically reversed. See more »
You might say that "The Cottage" has opened to less than stellar reviews in the UK. Frankly, this is a slight understatement. The truth of the matter is that "The Cottage" has opened to stinkingly bad reviews in the UK. Just terrible write ups.
Part of the issue the UK critics seem to have with "The Cottage" is that Director Paul Andrew Williams decided to follow up his low budget, gritty, violent and critically lauded thriller "London To Brighton", with a pretty generic horror film. I don't mind that so much. In fact I kind of admire it. As a film fan I see all kinds of films. I would imagine that any film Director started off at some point as a film fan and, as such, would like to have a crack at making all kinds of films. If "The Cottage" had been a masterpiece then it wouldn't have mattered, would it? Just another Director working in a different genre.
Sadly, "The Cottage" is not a masterpiece. Far from it. Slapstick horror is very difficult to pull off, and "The Cottage" does not come close, but it is not the total flop you might think it would be from reading the reviews. I think the problem with "The Cottage" is that it cannot decide what it wants to be. Knockabout kidnapping comedy or knockabout horror comedy? It is a bit of both, but not enough of either. Sad to say it, but all of the best bits are all in the trailer.
Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith are fine as the bickering, mismatched brothers and kidnappers: Andy Serkis permanently grumpy and frustrated, Reece Shearsmith, jumpy, under the thumb and a sufferer of Mottephobia. (You can look it up.) Boobilicious, lads mag favourite Jennifer Ellison as the tough as nails kidnap victim was a bit disappointing. I was expecting a lot more from her and didn't get it. Not nearly an energetic enough performance.
I went to see "The Cottage" with my Brother. I got a one word review from him. Sh*t. Maybe that says it all?
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