Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
Kieran Culkin: Wallace Wells
Crash : This song is called "I Am So Sad. I Am So Very Very Sad." It goes like this.
Crash : [the song last only a couple of seconds] Thank you.
Wallace Wells : [yelling out] It's not a race, guys!
Crash : [annoyed] Ok this next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die."
Wallace Wells : Sweet!
Wallace Wells : I love this song!
Wallace Wells : [to Scott] Everything does suck.
Wallace Wells : Or does it?
[picks up the phone]
Wallace Wells : Hello? Oh, hey Knives. What's that? You're outside?
[Scott stands up quickly]
Knives Chau : [Knives knocks on the front door]
[Wallis opens the door]
Knives Chau : Is Scott here?
Wallace Wells : Uh, you know what?
[Scott dives through a window behind Wallis]
Wallace Wells : He just left.
Knives Chau : Really?
Wallace Wells : Yeah.
[Scott reaches through the window and grabs his jacket]
Wallace Wells : Sorry.
[Scott runs away behind Knives]
Wallace Wells : I want to have his adopted babies.
Wallace Wells : You doing okay there?
Scott Pilgrim : Yeah, good, good, good. She changed her hair.
Wallace Wells : So, it looks nice blue!
Scott Pilgrim : Yeah I know, but she did it without making a big deal out of it or anything... She's fickle, impulsive, spontaneous... God what am I going to do?
Scott Pilgrim : Oh God!
Wallace Wells : What is it, Scott?
Scott Pilgrim : I had this totally weird dream...
Other Scott : Oh God!
Wallace Wells : What is it, Other Scott?
Other Scott : Can we skip the dream time? Color me not interested.
Scott Pilgrim : But there was this girl...
Wallace Wells : Girl...
Other Scott : Is this an envy-related dream again?
Wallace Wells : You don't use the "e" word in this house.
Wallace Wells : Scott, you know I love you. But I need my own bed tonight. It's for sex.
Scott Pilgrim : Right.
Wallace Wells : I may need it for the rest of the week too... and the year.
Scott Pilgrim : Right, I get it.
Wallace Wells : Hey, maybe you can move in with Ramona.
Scott Pilgrim : [pause as Scott shakes his head] She's with Gideon now.
Wallace Wells : Ah, that sucks, but you know it's probably just because he's better than you.
Wallace Wells : Look, I didn't write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's ghost.
Wallace Wells : Kick her in the balls!
Wallace Wells : What a perfect asshole.
Wallace Wells : Okay, presumeably, you may have just seen a dude's junk, and I'm very sorry for that... so is he.
[phone rings; Some Guy picks it up offscreen]
Some Guy : [whispering] It's for Scott.
Wallace Wells : [takes the phone from Some Guy and passes it to Scott] It's for you, big guy.
Scott Pilgrim : [takes the phone] Hello?
Gideon Gordon Graves : Hey, pal! I just wanna say I feel terrible about earlier. I don't want any hard feelings, so I figured, why not be the bigger man, and just give you a call.
Scott Pilgrim : Is Ramona with you?
Gideon Gordon Graves : I dunno...
[to a brainwashed Ramona]
Gideon Gordon Graves : Are you with me?
Ramona V. Flowers : [deadpan] Yeah.
[Scott screams in agony on phone]
Gideon Gordon Graves : Geez, buddy, it's gonna be all right!
Scott Pilgrim : No, I just spilled hot cocoa on my crotch!
Gideon Gordon Graves : Mm-hmm... Listen, as you know, I'm opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto, and the Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight, and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren't there. They just did a soundtrack, and the acoustics here are *amazing*!
Scott Pilgrim : [looking intense] Yeah, maybe I'll see you there.
Gideon Gordon Graves : I hope so amigo. I don't want any more bad blood between exes. What do you say?
Scott Pilgrim : Mm-hmm
Gideon Gordon Graves : OK, laytaz'!
Wallace Wells : What a perfect asshole.
[Scott notices that Wallace was listening in on another phone]
Wallace Wells : Forget what I said earlier.
[hangs up phone]
Wallace Wells : Finish him.
[Scott dramatically gears up, and runs off to the Chaos Theatre for the "final level" as Wallace and Some Guy watch from inside]