Kicking & Screaming (2005)
Mike Ditka: Mike Ditka
Phil Weston : You're my assistant. You're supposed to back me up and go get me juiceboxes whenever I want. Now go get me a juicebox!
Mike Ditka : DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?
Phil Weston : I'm talkin' to the juicebox guy!
Mike Ditka : You're crazy!
Phil Weston : I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty!
Mike Ditka : OH, YOU GO TO HELL!
Phil Weston : No, you go to hell, and while you're there, why don't you grab me a juicebox!
Mike Ditka : Coffee is the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions.
Mike Ditka : [team is doing push-ups] If you guys were the Bears, I'd fine you $10,000 apiece.
Mike Ditka : [to the Tigers team] Now this is gonna be the hardest, most difficult thing you ever attempted in your entire life. But you know what, when it's over...
Phil Weston : Don't get emotional...
Mike Ditka : When it's over...
Phil Weston : When it's over...
Mike Ditka : You guys are gonna be champions! My God, you're going to be champions!
Phil Weston : Champions!
Mike Ditka : Now let's get out there and kick some butt!
Phil Weston : On three, 'let's have fun'.
The Tigers : [all chant] One, two, three, Let's have fun!
Mike Ditka : [to Phil, mocking] 'Let's have fun,' what's THAT?
Mike Ditka : Way to go, Bing Bong!
Phil Weston : [to Barbara] My dad, he's a coach. He knows the game, he's confident, he's smart, witty, dynamic, vicious, brutal, vindictive, a monster! And he will win by intimidation and forceful tactics if need be. I'm not like that. I don't know anyone like that. Do you?
[quick cut to Ditka house]
Mike Ditka : So Paul, what's on your mind?
Phil Weston : Actually, it's Phil.
Mike Ditka : It's not Paul?
Phil Weston : No.
Mike Ditka : What's the difference? Spit it out.
[lights a cigar]
Diana Ditka : Mike?
Mike Ditka : Here, hold this.
[gives cigar to Phil]
Diana Ditka : Oh no! We do not allow smoking in the house!
Phil Weston : I'm sorry, Mrs. Ditka.
Diana Ditka : You should be.
Mike Ditka : [Phil hands back cigar] I'll get rid of it, honey!
Phil Weston : Looks who's here! I'll give you a hint - Hall of Fame, Chicago Bears...
Mark Avery : Sammy Sosa?
Mike Ditka : C'mon!
Phil Weston : Football... coached the 1986...
Mike Ditka : '85.
Phil Weston : Right, '85 Bears to Superbowl victory... it's Mike Ditka!
Mark Avery : Do you know Sammy Sosa?
Mike Ditka : Hey, zip it, kid!
The Tigers : [winning team, shouting] Two, four, six, eight! Who do we appreciate?
Mike Ditka : Shut up, ya little rats!
Phil Weston : They're just showing their appreciation.
Mike Ditka : I don't care about appreciation, I just want to win a soccer game.
[throws down his clipboard and walks off]
Phil Weston : [picks it up] Can I have this?
Phil Weston : Sure.
Phil Weston : Alllllright!
Mike Ditka : New game plan - pass the ball to the EYEtalians!
Ann Hogan : Coach Ditka? Hi. Our son, Byong Sun, he's very shy, and we were wondering
[hands him a pad to autograph]
Mike Ditka : Sure, 'be happy to.
Ann Hogan : Thank you so much. It's Byong Sun
Ann Hogan : B-Y...
Mike Ditka : [autographing] I think I got it.
[hands it back to them]
Mike Ditka : Bye bye.
Mike Ditka : [to Phil, awkwardly] Just... a wonderful couple.
Ann Hogan : [looking at the autograph] What...
Donna Jones : "Bing Bong"?
Mike Ditka : Every good thing starts with a Brat!
Mike Ditka : I eat quitters for breakfast and spit out their bones.