Paul F. Tompkins: Open Mic Host
Open Mic Host : Since the beginning of time 'twas written in the stones that one day a band would come. Well that band has come and now they are here to cum again in your ear pussies.
Open Mic Host : [comforting Tenacious D] You guys, having some satanic guitar pick isn't gonna make your rock any better... because Satan's not in a guitar pick, he's inside all of us. In here
[taps their chests]
Open Mic Host : in your hearts. He's what makes us not want to go to work, or exercise, or tell the truth. He's what makes us want to party and have sex with each other all night long. He's that little voice in your mind that says "Fuck you" to the people you hate. Now you can stay out here and fight on the ground and cry like babies, or you can go in there like friends and rock. So, what's it gonna be?
KG : [determined] Let's go in there and show'em what Tenacious D is all about.
JB : Yeah. I already got a guitar pick anyways.
[holds up KG's pick]