Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) Poster

Joel David Moore: Owen



  • Casino Worker : [a casino worker and a security guard wheels out a huge treasue chest]  Here are your winnings, Mr. La Fleur. Congratuations.

    Peter La Fleur : Right on time. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys.

    White Goodman : [curious with anger]  Winnings? What winnings? What winnings? What is that?

    Peter La Fleur : Oh, gosh! I totally forgot to tell you, White. I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night and I put on us to win. We were going at fifty to one. Anyone? Top of your head. What's 50 times $100,000?

    Owen : $50,000?

    Kate Veatch : $5 million! Peter, are you kidding me?

    Peter La Fleur : [opens the treasure chest, revealing stacks of cash]  Surprise!

  • Dwight : We're still missing the teenage love puppy and Steve the Pirate.

    Owen : Who's Steve the Pirate?

    Dwight : The only guy on our team that dresses like a pirate!

    Owen : Wait, there's a guy on our team who dresses like a pirate?

  • Owen : [after Patches O'Houlihan has been killed]  Look on the bright side, at least we've still got Peter!

    Dwight : Yeah, but Globo Gym's got guys named Laser, and Blazer, and Tazer, and all kinds of "azer's"! Without Patches, we're going to get our taints handed to us, that's what!

    Justin : [Whispers to Gordon]  What's a taint?

    Gordon : I don't know, but it sounds *bad*!

  • Fran : You are the one that stares at me. Why is this?

    Owen : [even though Fran is a tough, scary, Slavic woman]  Because you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

  • Owen : [after Patches got smashed with sign]  Well... it's probably the way he wanted to go...

    Dwight : ...What?

  • Owen : I'm gonna catch up with you guys later. I'm gonna have a bathroom... go to the drink... in the bathroom.

    Dwight : Whatever you do, wash your hands.

  • Justin : How many teams are in this qualifier?

    Gordon : Uh, two.

    Justin : So all we have to do is beat this team and we're in the Vegas Open, right?

    Gordon : Yeah!

    Owen : That seems pretty simple.

    Dwight : Who's the other team?

    Gordon : Uh, I have it right here, just a second... Troop 417.

    Steve the Pirate : Christ! We're playin' Boy Scouts!

    Peter La Fleur : Not quite!

    [Troop 417 are tough-looking Girl Scouts; one spits on the ground] 

    Steve the Pirate : BOLLOCKS!

  • Peter La Fleur : There's someone out there for everybody.

    Owen : You think?

    Peter La Fleur : Absolutely. In some cases, there's two somebodies for one person. I like to call that "the jackpot".

  • [before the championship game] 

    Peter La Fleur : Okay guys, let's play smart. Wait for your two-on-ones, cover closely for your pickups. What's our team motto?

    Owen : Aim low?

    Peter La Fleur : That's right. All I'm asking is that you give it your best for Patches. I say we go out there, we let it all hang loose, try to have some fun. I mean, it's only dodgeball, right?

    [Everyone laughs] 

    Peter La Fleur : Put 'em in.

    [Hands in] 

    Peter La Fleur : One, two, three...

    Peter La Fleur , Owen , Justin , Kate Veatch , Dwight , Gordon : JOE'S!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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