Owen Wilson: Ned Plimpton
Ned Plimpton : I've never seen so many electric jellyfish in all my life!
Steve Zissou : I hope you're not gonna bust our chops on this on, Bill.
Bill Ubell : Why would I do that?
Steve Zissou : Because you're a bond company stooge.
Bill Ubell : [scoffs] I'm also a human being.
Steve Zissou : All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?
[he holds out his hand flat. Bill and Ned put theirs on top of his]
Ned Plimpton : I'm gonna fight you, Steve.
[Steve hits Ned in the face]
Steve Zissou : You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
Ned Plimpton : You fight your way, and I'll fight mine.
Steve Zissou : Oh, listen, Ned. Don't you try to...
[Ned hits Steve in the face]
Steve Zissou : I think your Team Zissou ring might've caught me on the lip.
Ned Plimpton : You don't know me, you don't want to know me... I'm just a character in your stupid film.
Klaus Daimler : So, you really think you're a Zissou.
Ned Plimpton : I don't know.
Klaus Daimler : Well, you traveled a long way for "I don't know," sonny.
Ned Plimpton : That's true. But it's important to me.
Klaus Daimler : Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things that are important to some people around here, sonny.
Ned Plimpton : Klaus, don't call me "sonny."
Klaus Daimler : And one more thing: It's the Steve Zissou show, not the Ned show.
[Klaus slaps Ned in the face]
Klaus Daimler : You hear me?
Ned Plimpton : Yes, I do.
[Klaus starts walking away]
Ned Plimpton : Klaus?
Klaus Daimler : Ja?
Ned Plimpton : If you ever touch me again, I will kick your goddamn teeth out. Is *that* understood?
Klaus Daimler : Not if I don't see you first, sonny.
[on a speaker-phone]
Oseary Drakoulias : I spoke with Larry Amin, and it's a pass.
Steve Zissou : In other words, you fucked us!
Oseary Drakoulias : Let's not cast stones at one another, my dear.
Oseary Drakoulias : Do you hear me, damn it? Do you?
Steve Zissou : No, I don't! I told you how to play it!
Oseary Drakoulias : Oh, bloody hell! You listen here, mate!
Ned Plimpton : Can I interrupt for a second?
Oseary Drakoulias : Who the blazes is that?
Ned Plimpton : It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
Oseary Drakoulias : What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?
Steve Zissou : Would you like to join my crew?
Ned Plimpton : Would I like to...
Steve Zissou : I want you, on Team Zissou.
Ned Plimpton : I don't think I can do that.
Steve Zissou : Why not?
Ned Plimpton : Well, it's not my field, I don't have the background for it.
Steve Zissou : No one here does. Klaus used to be a bus driver, Wolodarsky was a high school substitute teacher. We're a pack of strays, don't you get it?
Ned Plimpton : Steve I'm not even that strong a swimmer,
Ned Plimpton : the answer's yes.
Steve Zissou : Well it's got to be. I'll order you a red cap and a speedo.
Steve Zissou : Cut.