Mr. Lawrence: Plankton, Fish #7, Attendant #2, Lloyd
Patrick Star : SpongeBob, what happened?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Plankton cheated.
Sheldon J. Plankton : Cheated?
[Now to Neptune]
Sheldon J. Plankton : Hold on there, baldy.
[Now to SpongeBob]
Sheldon J. Plankton : Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Because you cheated?
Sheldon J. Plankton : No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid.
Sheldon J. Plankton : A stupid kid!
SpongeBob SquarePants : I guess you're right, Plankton.
SpongeBob SquarePants : I am just a kid.
Sheldon J. Plankton : Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kill.
SpongeBob SquarePants : And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are.
Sheldon J. Plankton : That's right. Okay, Neptune...
SpongeBob SquarePants : And no amount of mermaid magic...
[Turns to Mindy]
SpongeBob SquarePants : ... or managerial promotion...
[Turns to the frozen Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob SquarePants : ... or some other third thing... can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.
Sheldon J. Plankton : That's great. Now, get back against the wall.
SpongeBob SquarePants : [over microphone] But that's okay!
Sheldon J. Plankton : What? What's going on?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Because I did what everyone said a kid COULDN'T do! I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown BACK!
Sheldon J. Plankton : All right, we get the point.
SpongeBob SquarePants : So, yeah, I'm a kid!
[the lights go down, dry ice smoke surrounds SpongeBob, and a spotlight falls on him]
SpongeBob SquarePants : And I'm also a goofball! And a wing nut! And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!
Sheldon J. Plankton : [coughs from the smoke] What's going on here?
SpongeBob SquarePants : But most of all, I'm...
Sheldon J. Plankton : Okay, settle down. Take it easy!
SpongeBob SquarePants : I'm... I'M...
Sheldon J. Plankton : WHAT THE SCALLOP?
SpongeBob SquarePants : [bursts into song] I'M A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK!
Crowd : [Regarding King Neptune] BALD! BALD BALD! BALD! BALD!
Fish : MY EYES!
Plankton : Oh Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs' success. The formula for the Krabby Patty... Ohhh... Then people would line up to eat at MY restaurant! Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet... from A to Y!
Karen the Computer : A to Y?
Plankton : Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
Karen the Computer : What about Z?
Plankton : Z?
Karen the Computer : Z... The letter after Y...
Plankton : [searching thorugh the file cabinet] W, X, Y... Z. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said.
Karen the Computer : Oh, boy.
Plankton : [sees the plan] Oh. Ohhh... It's evil. It's diabolical. It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail!
Plankton : I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. All hail Plank - !
[Spongebob accidentally steps on him]
Attendant #1 : You two dipsticks wouldn't last ten seconds over the county line!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that.
[they drive over the line; a thief stops them]
Thief : Out of the car, fellas.
[thief drives off with Patty Wagon]
SpongeBob SquarePants : How many seconds was that?
Attendant #2 : Twelve.
[start laughing hysterically at attendants before walking away over county line]
Squidward Tentacles : So you're selling Krabby Patties, eh Plankton?
Plankton : That's right, Squidward, and there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one?
Squidward Tentacles : No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.
Plankton : And what's that supposed to mean?
Squidward Tentacles : It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him and you could finally get your stubby paws on the Krabby Patty formula. It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck and I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune!
Plankton : We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips.
[Plankton laughs and he presses a button on Karen]
Karen the Computer : Now activating helmet brain-control devices.
Squidward Tentacles : Huh?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
King Neptune : You don't understand. The crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And, uh, between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, Your Majesty, I'm sure it's not that noticea...
[Sees Neptune's bald head]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Bald! Bald! Bald!
Crowd : BALD! BALD BALD! BALD! BALD!
Fish : MY EYES!
King Neptune : All right, all right!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.
Plankton : Oh, don't worry about me. My parade will be quite dry, under my... umbrella!
[pulls on a chain]
[a Chum Bucket bucket helmet drops on Neptune]
Mindy : Daddy, no!
Plankton : Daddy, yes!
[pushes button on remote]
King Neptune : [Bucket activates] All hail Plankton.
Plankton : Plan Z. I love ya!
Plankton : Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby.
Plankton : [as he's being arrested] Come on, can't you take a joke? Wasn't that funny? With the monuments and the buildings? Wasn't that hilarious? I will destroy all of you!
Plankton : His chops are too righteous. The helmets can't handle this level of rock n' roll! Karen, do something!
[Karen is being surfboard across the the Krusty Krab]
Plankton : [angrily] All right, that's the last straw!
Plankton : Neptune, I command you to...
[SpongeBob free Neptune from Plankton's mind control]
Mindy : [gives the crown to her father] Here you go, daddy.
Plankton : I'd... better get outta here.
Plankton : Plan Z is working perfectly. Nothing can stop me now.
Karen the Computer : Nothing except SpongeBob and his pink friend. My sensors indicate that they're on their way to find the crown. If they make it back, Neptune might discover some fingerprints. Tiny fingerprints. Stubby, tiny fingerprints.
Plankton : Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. He's a vicious, cold-blooded predator!
Sheldon J. Plankton : [as the brain controlled fish capture Squidward, Plankton shouts] Hahahaha! Who can stop me now? Hahaha! Who?
Sheldon J. Plankton : [cracking a whip] No resting! This monument celebrating my glory isn't going to build itself! Move faster!
Plankton : [after placing a fake call to Mr. Krabs and hearing King Neptune scream over the phone] Plan Z. I love Plan Z!