Martine offers Terry a lead on a foolproof bank hit on London's Baker Street. She targets a roomful of safe deposit boxes worth millions in cash and jewelry. But Terry and his crew don't realize the boxes also contain a treasure trove of dirty secrets - secrets that will thrust them into a deadly web of corruption and illicit scandal.
Stephen Campbell Moore
Homeless and on the run from a military court martial, a damaged ex-special forces soldier navigating London's criminal underworld seizes an opportunity to assume another man's identity -- transforming into an avenging angel in the process.
Disgraced ex-England captain (Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan) is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. Whilst in jail, he doesn't recieve any favours because of his celebrity status in the outside world. He is out numbered and many prisoners constantly barrage him with insults for letting down his country in a crucial World Cup game. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. These prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards. The prisoners are lead by Danny and the whole of the prison, guards aside, are behind them. Game on......Written by
Monk is described as having killed over 20 people, which would make him one of the UK's most prolific serial killers. At the start of the movie, Longmarsh prison is described as a Category B prison. Monk would almost certainly be deemed a high risk Category A restricted status prisoner, and would be imprisoned somewhere like HMP Belmarsh. See more »
[Danny drives a second free kick into Ratchett's crotch]
Ooh! Right in his Carentan onions.
No nooky for Mr. Ratchett.
No nooky for Mrs. Ratchett neither.
See more »
In the US version some phrases and terms were changed to make the film more understandable for American audiences. For example, when Doc is talking to Danny about why he is in jail, the original dialogue "his little nipper and his bird" are looped with "his little baby and his girl". Additionally in the US version, Nitro has a softer, Liverpool accent, whereas in the original version, he has a Newcastle accent. See more »
Not that funny or interesting but distracting enough nonsense to appeal to slightly drunk male football fans
Danny Meehan is a former football star and former captain of England at the top level. However when a drunken binge leads to an assault on some police officers, Danny finds himself in prison where the welcome is less than, well, welcoming. Struggling to fit in and threatened by guards and prisoners alike, Danny accepts the offer from the gambling warden to stage a football match between the prisoners and the officers. However with few willing to stand up with Danny (and against the screws), things look like they will be near impossible.
One of a couple of remakes of The Longest Yard, this film goes for a straight remake but with a UK setting. Despite it occasionally having a serious edge to it, this is mostly a film about laddish jokes, banter and sports. It could have had interesting subtexts about corruption, the impact of sport on society or the corrupting nature of power/authority but instead it just goes for the lowest denominator every chance it gets. In this way it marks out its territory and its target audience and never really aspires to much beyond this. It is a shame really because it is clearly trying serious things but they just come off as clunky and not developed properly. The effect of this is that it regularly knocks the wind out of the fun aspect that only occasionally gets up a good head of steam.
The cast do the best they can regardless and, in fairness, they do OK. Jones is pretty convincing in most scenes and only struggles when he is called upon to convey emotion or carry the serious stuff. Blackwood is good value in a silly role. Statham nicely sends up his martial arts personae well. The rest of the cast are so-so and fit in with the general so-so level the film is working on but you do have to wonder why Sally Phillips bothered to show up for such a pointless character.
Overall a basic sports comedy. It isn't very funny, doesn't have much of interest and it isn't much cop. At the time I was shattered and just looking for something brainless to fill a bit of down time on that level it worked for me, but only just.
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