My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
Andrea Martin: Aunt Voula
Aunt Voula : [to Ian's parents] Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin.
Aunt Voula : Ian, I'm Aunt Voula. Let me touch your hair. Oh, oh oh.
Toula Portokalos : Umm Aunt Voula.
Aunt Voula : Ok Ok. Why don't you come to my house and I cook for you
Toula Portokalos : That may be a problem.
Aunt Voula : Why it a problem? Don't you tell him I'm the best cook in the family?
Toula Portokalos : Oh, I did.
Ian Miller : Twice!
Toula Portokalos : Ian is a vegetarian. He doesn't eat meat.
Aunt Voula : He don't eat no meat?
Toula Portokalos : No, he doesn't eat meat.
Aunt Voula : WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DON'T EAT NO MEAT?
[the room goes silent]
Aunt Voula : Oh that's ok, That's ok, I make lamb!
Maria Portokalos : We must let Kosta think this was his idea.
Aunt Voula : All right, I know.
Maria Portokalos : That he came up with it.
Aunt Voula : All right.
Toula Portokalos : Ma, he's gonna figure it out.
Maria Portokalos : Don't you worry.
Aunt Voula : Okay, I know what to do you.
Maria Portokalos : You don't know what to do. You talk, talk, talk, all the time!
Aunt Voula : Do you want my help?
Maria Portokalos : Yes, I want your help!
Aunt Voula : Tell me what to say. But don't tell me what to say.
Maria Portokalos : Perfect!
Aunt Voula : Nikki, how come you no come to curler my hairs this morning?
Nikki : Ma! I had to drop Dimos at work. And now, I gotta go open the travel agency, because, you know, some jag-off and his big-ass girlfriend are too busy.
Angelo : Ma! Tell her I open up the dry cleaners every day, and I think it's about time she did something for a change.
Nikki : Excuse me? Do you know who's at the dry cleaner this morning? My husband is at the dry cleaner!
Angelo : You're always at the beauty parlor, with your nails and your hair and everything.
Nikki : Don't you talk about my hair! You are so lazy! You and your big-ass girlfriend do nothing!
Angelo : Did somebody sit on your hair? I mean, it looks a little flat there.
Nikki : Angelo... bite me!
Aunt Voula : Disgusting! Be a lady!
Aunt Voula : [Watching Ian dance at the reception] Oh, Taki... he looks Greek.
Gus Portokalos : Anyways, I tell her I will send her to Greece to find somebody.
Uncle Taki : She not too old. In Greece you don't tell anybody how old she is!
Aunt Voula : Ah, there you go!
Gus Portokalos : She don't want to go!
Gus Portokalos : No! It's like, it's like she don't want to get married!
[He crosses himself]
Aunt Voula : [after Taki suggests that Toula is okay] What ok? She no Ok! Athena is married with three children!