House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Walton Goggins: Steve Naish
Lt. George Wydell : [holds a photo of Denise] Have you seen this girl in the past 24 hours?
Captain Spaulding : Yeah, cute kid. Ain't my type though. You know, I like 'em with a little more meat on 'em. Ha ha. The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'.
Deputy Steve Naish : Come on, clownie, just answer the damn questions. We ain't interested in your love life.
Lt. George Wydell : Cut the crap, Spaulding, and get with the facts.
Lt. George Wydell : What did you see? Who was she with? Where was she going?
Captain Spaulding : I don't know. Yeah, that girl was in here last night. She was with three other stupid kids. They was nosing around... asking a bunch of stupid questions.
Deputy Steve Naish : Questions about what?
Captain Spaulding : I don't know. This and that. Mostly a bunch of tired Dr. Satan bullshit.
Captain Spaulding : Look, they caught a gander at the display in the back and they figured they'd run out and solve the great big Deadwood mystery about Dr. Satan.
Lt. George Wydell : And how'd they get that idea?
Captain Spaulding : I wrote 'em a map... out to the old farm road that runs past the Hanging Tree. I figured, what the hell? Can't do no harm. Besides, it's good for my tourist trade. Ha, ha!
Deputy Steve Naish : You can shit ten bricks for all I care.
Deputy Steve Naish : What else happened?
Captain Spaulding : [getting angry and agitated] Nothin'. You ask me, those stupid ass kids probably got turned around ass backwards and got themselves lost.
Lt. George Wydell : Is that all? Now, I want you to think really hard.
[Spaulding scratches his head with his forefinger, mocking "thinking hard"]
Captain Spaulding : Well, I don't ridley know. You see, they wasn't in here long enough for me to get up close and personal with 'em like I do with most of the other assholes that come wondering in here!
Deputy Steve Naish : [about Mr. Willis] You sure this fella's supossed to ride with us in this car?
Lt. George Wydell : Mmmm-hmm.
Deputy Steve Naish : [shakes head] This just don't seem right to me.
Lt. George Wydell : Well listen, it ain't up to us. Chief said to pick him up and take him with us. The guy's an ex-cop and figures he can be a help some.
Deputy Steve Naish : I just hope he don't get in my way's all I'm sayin' all right?
Deputy Steve Naish : Chief, if you ask me I'd say these kids got a cold six and are out getting shitfaced right now
Lt. George Wydell : Boy, I sure hope you're right. My guts are telling me different.
Deputy Steve Naish : Your Spidey senses tinglin?
Lt. George Wydell : [nodding head] Mmm-hmm... yeah.
[realizing what Nash said]
Lt. George Wydell : WHAT?
Deputy Steve Naish : You know Georgie... Like in the Marvel comics...
Lt. George Wydell : [getting irritated] How old do you think I am, boy? I know Spiderman! Just get to your point!
Deputy Steve Naish : You know like when he was fighting people like that damn... what the hell was his name?
Deputy Steve Naish : Aww shit. I cant remember.
Lt. George Wydell : I myself always favored for the Hulk.
Deputy Steve Naish : The Hulk was dumb as shit!
Lt. George Wydell : Ahh fuck! Damn!
Deputy Steve Naish : What?
Lt. George Wydell : [sarcastic] Nothing.