Family Law (1999–2002)
Randi: Sure you got your self screwed here, didn't you Linn?
Lynn: Yes, well.
Randi: I'm not gonna take up much of your time. You're meeting with a lot of terrific attorneys. Any one will represent you vary aggressively. And depending on how smart your husband was, they might even get you some decent money. That's not who I am, and that's not what I want for you. When your husband does get around to makin' a settlement offer, I want him to do it on his bare knees, bleeding from having crawled over here from his new, swanky office suite. I want to see him right here with his pants down around his ankles and whip marks on his bare back where he's been lit'rally flogging himself for his stupidity and arrogance. And when we turn him down -- I wanna see him burst into tears, lick your shoes, and beg for mercy. And only then will I even consider letting you take money from this poor excuse for a human being! (pause) How will I accomplish this outcome? (standing, smiling) Well, besides being a damn good attorney, I have only two qualifications -- I hate men, and I play very dirty.
Randi: It's an annoying fact of life, but husbands can often see their wives' flaws much more easily than we can see our own. My former husband could certainly see right through me and he'd help me see it to. Usually by striking me with a baseball bat. Then one day, he swung and missed and I stabbed him to death. So, looking at it now, I suppose he didn't know me quite as well as he thought. For example, he didn't know I had that sharp knife. But, here I am talking about myself when we should be listening to your husband's insightful criticisms.(without missing a beat and smiling) We can go back on the record now.