You've Got Mail (1998)
Dave Chappelle: Kevin Jackson
Kevin : [At Cafe Lalo, spying on "Shopgirl"] You know what? She looks... I mean, she almost has the same coloring as... that Kathleen Kelly person.
Joe Fox : Kathleen Kelly with the little bookstore?
Kevin : Well, why not? You said you thought she was attractive.
Joe Fox : Absolutely, yes, why not. Who cares about Kathleen Kelly?
Kevin : Well... if you don't like Kathleen Kelly, I can tell you right now... you ain't gonna like this girl.
Joe Fox : Why not?
Kevin : Because it *is* Kathleen Kelly.
Kevin : I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
Joe Fox : [a clip on the news] I sell cheap books, I do. So sue me.
T.V. Reporter : [a clip on the news] And that, in a nutshell, is the Fox Books philosophy.
Joe Fox : Hey!
Kevin : That's what you said?
Joe Fox : Well... yeah, that's not *all* I said. I said - aww, I can't believe those bastards! I said we were great. I said you could sit and read for hours and no one will bother you. I said we have a hundred and fifty thousand titles. I showed them the New York section. I said we were a goddamn piazza! A place in the city where people can mingle and mix and be.
Kevin : Piazza?
Joe Fox : I was eloquent. Shit!
Kevin : Piazza...
Joe Fox : [on the new Fox Books superstore] Hey, you know what? We should announce ourselves to the neighborhood. Just let them know, here we come.
Kevin : Oh, no, this is the Upper West Side, man. We might as well tell 'em we're opening up a crack house. They're gonna hate us. Soon as they hear, they're gonna be lining up...
Kevin : - that's out to destroy...
Joe Fox : - everything they hold dear.
Kevin : Yeah.
Joe Fox : Do you know what? We are going to seduce them. We're going to seduce them with our square footage, and our discounts, and our deep armchairs, and...
Joe Fox : That's right. They're going hate us at the beginning, but...
Joe Fox : Do you know why?
Kevin : Why?
Joe Fox : Because we're going to sell them cheap books and legal addictive stimulants. In the meantime, we'll just put up a big sign: "Coming soon: a FoxBooks superstore and the end of civilization as you know it."
Kevin : The electrical contractor called. His truck hit a deer last night, so he's not going to be here until tomorrow. And the upstairs shelves are delayed because the shipment of pine we ordered has beetles.
Joe Fox : Very good. *Very* good.
Kevin : And we got a fifty-thousand dollar ticket for construction workers peeing off the roof.
Joe Fox : Great, that is great!