Peter Stormare: Gaear Grimsrud
Gaear Grimsrud : You're a smooth smoothie, you know?
Gaear Grimsrud : Where is pancakes house?
Carl Showalter : What?
Gaear Grimsrud : We stop at pancakes house.
Carl Showalter : What... are you nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. Gotta go to a place I can get a shot and a beer, steak, maybe, not more fuckin' pancakes, c'mon.
[Gaear just stares at Carl]
Carl Showalter : Oh, come on, man! Okay, here's an idea: we can stop outside of Brainerd. I know a place there we can get laid. Whaddya think?
Gaear Grimsrud : I'm fucking hungry now, you know!
Carl Showalter : Yeah yeah Jesus, I'm sayin' we can... stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?
[Gaear glares briefly]
Carl Showalter : [entering cabin, with shot-up face] You should see the other guy.
Carl Showalter : [he sees Jean Lundegaard's dead body] What the fuck happened to her?
Gaear Grimsrud : [watching TV and eating TV dinner] Uh, she started shrieking, y'know. She wouldn't stop...
Carl Showalter : Geesus. Well, it doesn't matter. I got the money. All of it. All eighty grand.
Carl Showalter : [he puts a couple stacks of bills down on table] That's forty for you, forty for me.
[Grimsrud pokes at the stacks of bills with his fork]
Carl Showalter : [puts a set of keys next to the money] That's it, then. You can have my truck. Here's the keys. I'm takin' the Ciera.
Gaear Grimsrud : We split that.
Carl Showalter : [pause] How the fuck do you split a fuckin' car, ya dummy? With a fuckin' chainsaw?
Gaear Grimsrud : One of us pays the other for half.
Carl Showalter : Hold on! No fuckin' way! You fuckin' notice this? I got fuckin' shot! I got fuckin' shot in the face! I went and got the fuckin' money. I got shot fuckin' picking it up! I've been up for thirty-six fuckin' hours! I'm taking' that fuckin' car! That fucker's mine, you fuckin' asshole!
[as usual, no response from Grimsrud]
Carl Showalter : You know, I've been listening to your fuckin' bullshit all week! Are we square?
[no response from Grimsrud who continues staring at the TV]
Carl Showalter : [flashing his gun] Are WE square?
Carl Showalter : Yeah, ya fuckin' mute. And if you see your friend Shep Proudfoot, tell him I'm gonna nail his fuckin' ass!
[he exits angrily toward the Ciera; after a few seconds, Grimsrud follows him out the door with an axe in hand]
Carl Showalter : [Showalter turns and sees Grimsrud striding toward him, axe raised] Oh no! Aaaaaah!
[Grimsrud brings the axe down toward Carl's neck]
Gaear Grimsrud : I need unguent.
Jerry Lundegaard : You see, my wife's dad is real well off.
Carl Showalter : So, why don't you just ask him for the money?
Gaear Grimsrud : Or your fucking wife, you know.
Carl Showalter : Or your fuckin' wife, Jerry?
Jerry Lundegaard : Well, it's all part of... look, the thing is they don't know that I'm in trouble. My wife and father-in-law don't know I need money. And if they did... I still won't get it. Okay? These are personal matters.
Carl Showalter : Personal matters? Okay, you're tasking us to perform this mission, but you won't tell us what... oh, fuck it. Let's have a look at the Ciera.
Gaear Grimsrud : [after being bit on the hand by Jean Lundegaard] Unguent... I need unguent.