All Dogs Go to Heaven II (1996)
Charlie: By the way, Carface, what did you trade Red for your collar?
Carface: He wanted the bottom of my shoes, or something. Hehehe. I don't even wear shoes. Ah, stupid cat.
Red: [from the hole which he went back to Hell through] Stupid dog! It was your soul!
[Demons rise up from the hole and pull Carface into the hole as the others look down]
Carface: Let me go! Red! This is not good! Red, no! Not the flames!
Itchy: What do you know? And I thought all dogs go to Heaven.
Charlie: It's hard to explain, Itch. This place is supposed to have everything but it doesn't. It's too... it's too...
Charlie: it's too heavenly here/It's too graceful and paradise-like/Much too narrow and much too nice like/Endlessly sunny and clear/It's too heavenly here/It's too blissfull to bear/Calm and quiet and much too mellow/
[Knocks over a tray of halos which all go around Itchy]
Charlie: /All my brain cells have turned to jello/Every day feels like a year/
[Someone pushes the halos off Itchy and drops both of them]
Charlie: It's too heavenly here.
[Grabs a harp on the way down]
Charlie: I need some action/I need some juice/
[Fires Itchy with the harp like a bow and arrow]
Charlie: A crazy kind of feeling of playing fast and loose/Some razzle dazzle and a little stress and strife/I gotta get some life in my life/But it's too heavenly here/There's no way you can be a sinner/Roll the dice/Everyone's a winner/It's so legit and sincere/It's too heavenly here/What good's a hustler/Without scam/I'm wasted talent/That's all that I am/This operator/Is at the wrong adress/Cause there's nothing to finagle/And no one to fineeeeeeeese
Angel Choir: [while bathing them] It's so heavenly here/Pure and perfect/Sublime and shining/Every cloud has a silver lining/Everyone's full of good cheer/It's so heavenly here.
Charlie: [singing again] They're all so saintly, I just can't relate/There's gotta be an exit/Through that pearly gate/
[Throws his halo just missing Itchy]
Charlie: Behold the canine who's been cut down in his prime/
[the halo comes back over his head]
Charlie: I may have done the crime/ But I can't do the time/Cause it's too heavenly here/All Hallelujas and Hosannas/It can drive anyone bananas/I'm going out of my head/This joint is deader than dead/I'll give you eight to three/It's too heavenly...
Angel Choir: Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Charlie: To heaaaaaveeeeenly heeeeeeeere.
Sasha: Fine! Don't listen to me. Listen to your guardian angel.
Charlie: David, Cannery Square sounds like a great plan to me.
[the Labrador gives Sasha a first-place ribbon and a bone for winning the talent contest]
Sasha: You advertised a meal for the winner!
Labrador: If it's a meal ya want honey, I'm off at ten.
Sasha: Honey, I'd rather eat out of the garbage.
Labrador: [almost to himself] That's what I had in mind.
Charlie: Why don't you ask him yourself?
Sasha: Now that would be a miracle.
Charlie: One miracle coming up.
[disappears by taking off the collar and reappears in front of Sasha and kisses her, his miracle goes into her]
Sasha: Ugh! Of all the arrogant, presumptuous, egotistical mutts I've ever met!
David: Ahh! Now you talk.
[Sasha puts her paw over her mouth]
David: You must be an angel.
Itchy: [Just arrived in heaven] I can't believe it! I...
Itchy: I'm not itchy.
Charlie: That's funny. You look like him.
Itchy: [laughing] No, I mean for the first time in my life, I don't have to scratch!
Charlie: Of course not, Itch. This is heaven. Fleas go to the other place.
Carface: [on the payphone] Boss, uh...
Red: Something happened. What's wrong?
Carface: You'll have the item today, just like we agreed. It's as good as in your hands. Nothing can go wrong!
Red: You contemptible canine!
Carface: Don't call me canine!
Carface: Do you know the meaning of patience?
Red: [the phone receiver burns in Carface's hand] Silence! As long as dogs are involved, ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG!
Carface: [hangs up] I'll take that as a no. Sheesh, what a hothead!
[the sound of change is heard]
Carface: [checks] Ah, keep the quarter.
[Carface puts his halo on and leaves as the receiver burns and smokes up without notice]
Charlie: [singing] Everybody's a winner. It's so legit and sincere. It's too heavenly here.
Claire: [after David reconciles with his dad and stepmom] I've been worried sick about you.
David: You were worried about me?
Claire: [smiles] Of course. Having this baby doesn't mean I don't love you.
David: [hugs her] I know that now... mom.
Claire: Honey, we're a family.
Thom: That's right - just a bigger one.
David: [as they walk in the house] Dad? Mom? Speaking of bigger families, do you think we have room for a pet or two?
Charlie: [after the root beer falls through his mouth] What?
Itchy: [sees that his and Charlie's reflections are not there] Charlie, look! We ain't - oh! We're ghosts!
Charlie: Annabelle! OF ALL THE ROTTEN TRICKS!
Charlie: [after arriving to Earth from Heaven] Hey-lo! Double chili cheeseburger with onions and pickles!
Red: [after revealing true form to Charlie and Itchy] Guess the cat's out of the bag. Aye?
Charlie: We're talking the mean streets of Frisco here, Ace, not Mount Happy-Go-Lucky.
Red: [singing] It feels so good to be bad! So delicious to be a despicable cad. It's just so thrilling and so fulfilling to give somebody the worst time they've ever had!
Charlie: So, is there a Mr. Sasha?
Sasha: Nope and I'm not taking applications.
Charlie: Okay. Okay but, if you were; what uh... what qualities would you be looking for?
Sasha: Oh, I don't know.
Charlie: Ah, of course you do.
Sasha: Hmmm. Well... loyalty, strength, breeding...
Charlie: I'd be good at that.
Sasha: ...humility... compassion
[Charlie accidently hits his head]
Sasha: and of course, style.
Red: You dogs have enjoyed a state of grace for far too long, wouldn't you agree Carface?
Carface: Er, yeah, whatever you say Boss.
Red: All these cells, filled with dogs... can you see it?
Carface: Oh yeah, er sure.
Red: And me playing Gabriel's Horn! Can you hear it?
Carface: Oh sure, just put your lips together and blow?
Red: And then, the grand finale!
Carface: That's er, that's not coming in so clear actual.
Red: Oh it will, and all thanks to Charlie Barkin!
Red: Make sure he doesn't disappoint me!
Carface: You got it Boss!
Red: [singing] It's so so stirring, I feel like purring!
Carface: It's deeply pleasing to be the reason...
Red: Three cheers for treachery! It feel so good to be bad!