Empire Records (1995) Poster

Anthony LaPaglia: Joe Reaves



  • [Joe is talking to the police about Warren] 

    Joe : [to Warren]  How old are you?

    Warren : Old enough to kick your butt through your skull and splatter your brains on the wall.

    Joe : [to the cops on the phone]  Yeah, he's a juvenile.

  • Jane : What are you doing later?

    Joe : I don't know. I'm either going to jail or hell I can't decide.

  • Joe : I want you to take these


    Joe : , hold 'em against your chest, stand against the wall, and they're gonna take a photograph of you.

    Warren : Why don't you go shove 'em up your ass?

    Lucas : ...Because it would hurt a lot, Warren.

  • A.J. : Joe, I need to ask your advice. Now I know you know a lot about love and women and all that sort of thing...

    Joe : Oh yeah, my wife left me for another woman and my girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint. Does this qualify me?

    A.J. : Oh yeah, definitely.

  • Joe : Deb, what are you doing?

    Debra : I just wanted to have a little chat with Warren.

    Warren : Oh yeah? Well have a little chat with my gun.

    Debra : [into the barrel of Warren's gun]  What do you want Warren?


    Debra : Well you can't kill me 'cause I'm already dead. And I talked to God, and she says, "Yo, wassup?" and she wants you to lose the gun.

    Warren : What? You are psycho. You're a psycho.

  • Lucas : Mitchell's the man Joe.

    Joe : And the man calls all the shots.

    Lucas : Damn the man.

    Joe : Let me explain it to you. Mitchell's the man. I'm the idiot. You're the screw-up. And we're all losers. Welcome to music town.

  • Lucas : Joe, I think it's gonna be okay.

    Joe : What makes you think that?

    Lucas : Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.

  • Joe : [after Lucas enters]  Lucas!

    Lucas : Joe!

    Joe : Where's the money?

    Lucas : Joe, the money is gone.

    Joe : Yeah, I know it's gone... but where's it gone to?

    Lucas : Atlantic City.

    Joe : Atlantic City?... Is it coming back from Atlantic City?

    Lucas : [nervous laugh]  Oh, I don't think so, Joe.

    Joe : What's it doing in Atlantic City, Lucas?

    Lucas : ...Recirculating.

    Joe : Recirculating?

    Lucas : Yeah.

    [Joe knocks the donation cup that Lucas was carrying out of his hands and grabs his arm] 

    Joe : Lucas, listen to me. I told Mitchell Beck that you forgot to deposit the money. I told Mitchell that the money was still here.

    Lucas : Joe, that's not true. It's in Atlantic City... I swear.

    Joe : Shut up, sit down, and don't you move.

    Lucas : [sitting down]  It could be in other cities by now...

    Joe : Oh, shut up! Under no circumstances do I want you to leave that couch... unless it's to get me $9000, and then you bring it here to me, okay?

    Lucas : Okay. You know, I think things are gonna be all right now, Joe.

    Joe : Oh? And what makes you think that.

    Lucas : Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.


    Lucas : Mmhmm!

    Joe : ...What a moron.

  • Joe : Could you please not sing, Mark.

    Mark : You know what Joe? One of these days, I'm gonna show you little people.

    Joe : Yeah, well on that day I'm gonna jump outta my wheelchair and do a dance.

    Mark : How 'bout today, huh? Rex Manning day.

  • Joe : Gina, you'd better go home.

    Gina : Am I fired?

    Joe : Have I fired anyone today? No. Why would I start with you?

  • Corey : Joe, you're the best boss in the world. Can I bring Rex his lunch?

    Joe : Berko's taking him his lunch.

    Corey : Um Joe, you know that Berko's gonna insult him to his face I don't think that's such a good idea.

    Joe : I don't care if Berko sticks an M-80 up his butt and lights it. In fact, I hope he sticks one up mine, it might be an improvement.

    Corey : Joe, I have to bring Rex his lunch.

    Joe : Berko is.

    Corey : Joe, I need to bring him his lunch.

    Joe : Berko is.

    Corey : [screams]  I'M BRINGING REX HIS LUNCH!


    Joe : ...alright.

  • [after Joe beats Lucas up in his office] 

    Joe : Here.

    [hands Lucas a washcloth] 

    Joe : You deserved that, you know that.

    Lucas : Yeah, I know it.

  • A.J. : ...you know, I got to tell her that I, uh, well, you know, that I uh...

    Joe : love her.

    A.J. : Yeah, now how do I do that?

    Joe : You say I love you. What do you want, written instructions?

  • Mitch : Why do I get the feeling that I'm being royally screwed?

    Joe : Because you are, Mitch.

  • A.J. : Hey Joe, I wanna tell Corey how I feel about her, and I thought you'd be the perfect guy for the job...

    Joe : Oh, yeah. My wife left me for a woman and my girlfriend forced me to leave on gunpoint. Does this qualify me?

    A.J. : Yeah, absolutely.

  • Joe : Where's Rex?

    Debra : Got a better question for you, Joe. Where's Gina?

    [Joe hears Gina in the xerox room with Rex] 

    A.J. : I'll look upstairs.

    Debra : I'll check the bathroom.

    Berko : I'll check the storage room.

    Lucas : I'll check the sofa.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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