Heavyweights (1995) Poster


Shaun Weiss: Josh Burnbalm



  • Roy : Josh, How ya doing man? I just saw the new nurse and she is... very attractive.

    Josh : This pleases me.

  • Josh : The candy belongs to... Seymour Butts.

    Tony Perkis : Seymour Butts? Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts, hmm? Who's Seymour Butts?

    Josh : Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony!

  • Gerry : Don't tell anyone, but I uh... snuck in some Oreos. Just in case.

    Josh : That was very sneaky of you, Gerry. Chipmunks! Download! Now!

    [Gerry looks around as the campers pile candy in hiding places] 

  • Roy : Josh. Somebody gonna die today.

    Josh : Call 911.

  • Roy : Funny Josh. But really man, what happened? Talk to us.

    Josh : [half-unaware]  Josh was bad.

    Roy : Oh man. Oh jeez.

    Josh : [half-unaware]  Josh now good.

    Gerry : Good? Wha... what do you mean?

    Josh : Must be...

    [finally showing his normal awareness] 

    Josh : good to see my big ass again!

  • Tony Perkis : You picked the wrong man to mess with.

    Josh : [sarcastically]  Oh, I didn't know I was messing with a man!

  • Tony Perkis : Kiss the ground, joker-boy!

    Josh : Hey, would you get your foot off my back?

    Tony Perkis : Shut up!

  • Josh : [on the "Camp Hope", aka "Camp Hell" movie which everyone at the camp and all the kid's parents are there watching] 

    Josh : Forty push-ups?

    Tony Perkis : No! Sixty! Down! Now! Eighty! One hundred!

    Maury Garner : He's strict.

  • Tim : [sees the kids have locked Tony up]  Oh good God!

    Pat Finley : This is insane!

    Julie : This is great!

    Gerry : So, what was you guys' plan?

    Pat Finley : What do you guys think you're doing?

    Gerry : Taking over the camp.

    Tim : Guys, you can't kidnap the owner of a camp! They give people the *chair* for things like this.

    Gerry : It was self defense, you have to believe us.

    Julie : I believe you.

    Roy : Pat, you know what? He snapped!

    Josh : He was going to make us climb a thousand foot mountain!

    [all the campers start talking at once about Tony's insane antics] 

  • Lars : Hello, I am your new friend and counselor. Please insists about wearing your Perkins System uniforms. Your families will be billed automatically. Now, lets play a fun game that helps us learn each others names.

    Josh : [mocking Lars' accent]  We already know each others names.

    Lars : Silence!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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