I Love You to Death (1990)
Rosalie Boca: They look like drug addicts.
Devo Nod: Well, they are drug addicts.
Rosalie Boca: Oh my God! You hired drug addicts?
Devo Nod: Who'd you expect me to hire? The Red Cross?
Nadja: They seem like very polite boys.
Rosalie Boca: I don't like having drug addicts in my house!
Nadja: Oh no, Rosalie. Don't think of them as drug addicts. Think of them as killers.
Lt. Larry Schooner: Jesus!
Devo Nod: What?
Lt. Larry Schooner: What the hell's going on here?
Rosalie Boca: What's wrong?
Sgt. Carlos Wiley: What is it?
Lt. Larry Schooner: He's been shot in the head!
Rosalie Boca: Oh!
Devo Nod: Really.
Joey Boca: What.
Nadja: No wonder he has headache!
Lt. Larry Schooner: Headache? he's got a bullet in him! Carlos, get an ambulance over here right away.
[see's Devo sneaking away]
Lt. Larry Schooner: Devo!
Devo Nod: ...I was gonna get a band-aid... for Joey...
Harlan James: This is only two hun'erd. We was promised five.
Devo Nod: For killing him five, for wounding him two.
Harlan James: You wanted me to shoot him so I shot him.
Nadja: You woke him up! What good is that?
Joey Boca: When somebody shoot you in the head it make you think.
[Discussing hiring a hit man to kill Joey]
Devo Nod: How much can we pay?
Rosalie Boca: As much as we have to.
Nadja: Yeah, you know, not too much. Try for discount.
Marlon: If we keep shooting Joey, don't you think he might get suspicious?
Marlon: If we're gonna waste the dude, we oughta get paid for it. I mean, that's the American way, ain't it?
Nadja: You know, I like you once. Maybe someday I like you again.
Rosalie Boca: [after Devo has shot Joey] Are you alright?
Devo Nod: Am I alright? Am *I* al...? Why are you asking me if I'm alright? He's the one who got shot!
Rosalie Boca: We didn't do it. I swear to God we didn't. We found him outside, on the lawn...
Devo Nod: ...Right outside...
Rosalie Boca: ...He was lying there, someone had shot him, and thrown him on the lawn...
Nadja: Yeah, it was a mess...
Rosalie Boca: ...It was terrible. So we brought him inside and we... we put him in bed... and... yep... It must have been the Mafia.
Lt. Larry Schooner: Mafia?
Devo Nod: The Mafia.
Nadja: Yeah. Joey was Italian.
Rosalie Boca: He *is* Italian.
Devo Nod: He *is* Italian.
Nadja: Last week on TV, I heard about a woman who stabbed her husband twenty-seven times. And you know why? Because he refused to put the top back on the mustard jar. Twenty-seven times! Can you imagine?
Devo Nod: I need to collect myself.
[goes into the closet, closes the door and talks to himself]
Devo Nod: Alright. Its you and I. No way out. Get your shit together. Okay? Okay. Let's go.
[Opens door to a confused Rosalie and Nadja]
Joey Boca: I cheated on my wife.
Priest: You committed adultery?
Joey Boca: Yes
Priest: How many times?
Joey Boca: Uh... 5 times the last 2 weeks... wait, no, that's wrong... it was uh... it was uh, 4 times this week, uh... with 3 women, and uh... 3 times last week with 2 other women... wow... plus one of the women from this week was the same as last week... or maybe 2 of the women was the same... so uh... I guess that uh... makes uh... what, uh... I dunno, 7 times... I mean it was more than uh... 7 times, father, it was, it was more like uh... 10 or 12 times but, you know, it was like on uh... 7 different occasions uh... only with 5 different women uh... uh... but uh... some of the women eh... more than once uh... some of them, quite a few times uh... in fact uh... it's hard to say father, I, I didn't exactly keep count but uh... uh, let let's say a dozen times in the last 2 weeks, uh... give or take a few times...
Devo Nod: Oh no, please, that's *my* job... taking care of the maggots.
Harlan James: [Marlon holds bat up to Joey, ready to hit him] Well, look at that.
Harlan James: A Reggie Jackson signed bat.
Marlon: Whoa, man. Awesome.
Harlan James: How many homers has he hit, like... in lifetime?
Marlon: Whoa man, he's the best.
Harlan James: Wow, man.
Marlon: I don't know...
Marlon: A bunch.
Rosalie Boca: I don't know. Maybe I didn't give him enough.
Nadja: But he ate three whole bowls! What an ox!
Rosalie Boca: Joey is not a normal man. You know how he is. He works ten... maybe 12, or 14 hours a day, seven days a week... and out with a different girl... every night.
Rosalie Boca: That's just it. He eats anything he wants. He never seems to gain any weight. He's not human! He's like an animal. Like we're dealing with a machine!
Lacey: Joey, if you're such a good Catholic, why do you commit adultery?
Joey Boca: I'm a man; I got a lot of hormones in my body.
Devo Nod: Mystic crystal let it shine, spikes just like a porcupine.
Harlan James: ...under one invisible nation...
Marlon: ...to nations under God whose...
Harlan James: ...spacious skies and amber graves of liberty for all...
Marlon: ...deliver us from freedom.
Marlon: Who's this?
Harlan James: The Guy.
Marlon: The Guy?
Harlan James: You know, Joey.
Marlon: Oh, THAT guy.
Devo Nod: [upset tone] So... you guys took a taxi. How could you do that?
Harlan James: What's wrong with that?
Devo Nod: You came here to kill Joey.
Harlan James: So what?
Devo Nod: So, it's generally not a very good idea to take a taxi to the scene of a crime!
Marlon: Hey, man! Be cool, okay? I mean... the dude's only a taxi driver. He's not like, you know, whats-his-name. What's his name?
Devo Nod: Who?
Marlon: Uh... you know... uh...
Harlan James: Yeah... right.
Devo Nod: [frustrated sigh] Never mind. Forget about it. It's done.
[Harlan and Marlon are standing over a sleeping Joey, with Harlan holding the revolver and Marlon holding a baseball bat]
Harlan James: Are you ready?
Marlon: I guess. Are you ready?
Harlan James: I'm ready. How about you, Joey? Are you ready?
[they both laugh]
Harlan James: Let's do this!
Marlon: Harlan, wait!
Harlan James: What?
Marlon: I've never killed anybody before.
Harlan James: Well, I've never killed anybody either. So what? How hard can it get? If he wakes up and sees us right now... all we do is read him his rights... and then kill him!
[they both laugh again]
Joey Boca: Rosalie!
Rosalie Boca: What?
Joey Boca: I feel better now. I had a good crap. That's all I needed.
Reporter: [to Harlan and Marlon] Mr. James, Mr. James. What can you tell us?
Marlon: Get the fuck away from me! Get those fuckin' microphones out of my face!
Harlan James: [to the reporters] Hey, what's going on? Is this about Joey? He dead or what?
Marlon: [to Harlan] Who's Joey?
Harlan James: He's the guy. The "guy".
Marlon: Oh... yeah. The Guy. THAT guy. Fuck!
Reporter: He's still alive. Why? What do you know about it?
Harlan James: Oh... nothing.