Chances Are (1989)
[Miranda sneaks into Alex's bedroom and into his bed wearing only lingerie, crawling under the sheets with him]
Alex Finch: [Alex thinking it's Corinne, invitingly responds] Hi, darling.
Miranda Jeffries: [Miranda whispers] Shh! Mom's next door.
Alex Finch: [Alex sits up turning on the bedroom light] What are you doing here?
Miranda Jeffries: What does it look like I'm doing?
Alex Finch: Miranda!
[Alex covers his naked chest with the blanket sheet]
Miranda Jeffries: What?
Alex Finch: [Alex sounding like a father says] It's way past your bedtime. Go to your room!
[Corinne tells her psychiatrist Dr. Bailey, about feeling attractive after meeting Alex]
Corinne Jeffries: Oh, Dr. Bailey, I don't know if it's just his body I'm attracted to or his soul. Or if it's just me.
Corinne Jeffries: [Corinne lays back in the long chair] Mmm. I'm feeling... Generally... Attractive. The truth is, I'm so ripe, I'm about to fall off the vine.
[Miranda demands an explanation from her mother Corinne, on why Alex has to leave]
Corinne Jeffries: He's... Weird.
Miranda Jeffries: Mom... Weirdness is not a criminal offense. If it were, you'd be serving a life sentence.
[Philip tells Corinne and Alex the things he believes in to be real]
Philip Train: Now, look, I'm just a dumb newspaper man. I believe Monday follows Sunday. I believe that summer follows spring. I believe in God and glasnost. I believe in things you can touch.
[Corinne tells Philip that her and Louie are having a baby]
Corinne Jeffries: Philip.
Philip Train: Hmm?
Corinne Jeffries: We're having a baby.
Philip Train: [Philip pauses, whispering to Corinne in front of Louie] How are we going to break the news to Louie?
Corinne Jeffries: [the three laugh together and hug each other] Philip!
Alex Finch: Philip.
Philip Train: Yeah.
Alex Finch: There's something I have to tell you.
Philip Train: Now?
Alex Finch: I'm in love with Miranda.
Philip Train: I know.
[both men smile, as Alex looks to Miranda walking up the aisle in her bridesmaid dress, and Philip looks to Corinne walking up the aisle in her wedding dress]
Second Minister: [the wedding Officiant begins to speak] Dearly beloved, we have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless...
[the Limbodrome Staff angel tries to explain to the nervous Louie why he feels funny]
Louie Jeffries: You know, I've been feeling very strange.
Limbodrome Staff: [the angel happily chuckles] What do you expect? Your body's cream sauce all over Wisconsin Avenue.
Limbodrome Staff: [the angel happily laughs] Here it is. End of the line. Thank you very much, and please wait.
[Philip accuses Alex of only using Corinne and tells her]
Corinne Jeffries: Corinne, he's got you figured out. All he wants is your money.
Corinne Jeffries: You're wrong. He wants my body.
[Philip stares down Alex]
[Corrine talks about the psychiatric term to her condition over her late husband]
Corinne Jeffries: My psychiatrist says I suffer from the halo effect, the tendency of widows to idealize their dead husbands. He says it keeps me from falling in love again. He has a point, but I can't imagine I'll ever stop loving Louie.
[Corinne tells her psychiatrist Dr. Bailey, about meeting Alex]
Corinne Jeffries: Dr. Bailey. I came here to tell you... That I'm interested in someone. A man. Well, he's almost a man.
Dr. Bailey: What do you mean?
Corinne Jeffries: He's 22 years old. But it's not like I'm rushing into anything, I've known him for 26 years.
Dr. Bailey: Corinne.
Dr. Bailey: It's a little complicated.
[as Dr. Bailey notices Corinne is wearing opposite colored shoes, when Corinne tries to cover one shoe with the other]
[Philip finally tells Corinne that he's in love with her]
Philip Train: I'm finding out once and for all what it feels like to hold the woman I love. I've always loved and will always love 'till the day I die.
Philip Train: [Philip kisses Corinne on the lips] I love you, Corinne.
Corinne Jeffries: Why didn't you ever tell me?
Philip Train: How could I?
Corinne Jeffries: All these years...
Philip Train: Louie was always there with us, every moment. In your heart. In my heart. In the air.
Corinne Jeffries: But I don't feel him here now.
[the woman in the bookstore asks Alex who he was before]
Woman in the bookstore: Who were you?
Alex Finch: Oh, me? I was no one special.
Woman in the bookstore: Oh, we're all special!
Alex Finch: I mean, I wasn't Cleopatra or Hannibal or someone great or famous.
Woman in the bookstore: [the woman chuckles] I know you weren't Cleopatra. I was.
[Alex and Philip get in a fight on the floor about not believing Alex is Louie]
Alex Finch: [Alex defensively yells] I'm Louie!
Philip Train: Yeah, and I'm Cleopatra!
Alex Finch: [Philip wrestles Alex down] You are not!
Alex Finch: You fight like her though!
[Corrine's boss tells her that she needs to win-over the liking of Mavis Talmadge]
Archibald Blair: No one in Washington is as rich as Mavis. She's her own corporation. Her own, uh, land mass.
Philip Train: [Philip the best friend and best man, tells Louie the groom, he's in love with Corinne the soon-to-be married bride] Louie. There's something I have to tell you.
Louie Jeffries: [as Corinne walks up the aisle in her wedding dress] Now?
Philip Train: I'm in love with Corinne.
Louie Jeffries: [Louie smiles not taking his eyes off Corinne] I know.
[Louie walks into the backyard of his home, seeing Corinne plant the new tree seedling with Philip]
Corinne Jeffries: Philip, I think we'll call the tree George.
[Louie talks to the Limbdrome Staff Member Omar, who asks if he wants to be a boy or a girl]
Omar: Boy or a girl?
Louie Jeffries: What's that?
Omar: You want to be reborn a boy or a girl?
Louie Jeffries: No, I don't want to be reborn at all. I want to go home right now, just as I am.
Omar: Well, that's impossible. You're between bodies right now. Look, you're a soul, a spirit. The only way to get back is to be reborn. Any problem with that?
Louie Jeffries: [sarcastically agrees] I guess not.
[Miranda has an argument with the librarian, Mrs. Handy, as Alex Finch comes in and takes over for her]
Miranda Jeffries: God, is she always that awful?
Alex Finch: [Alex makes a disgusted look to her crude remark] Mom? No.
Miranda Jeffries: Uh. I'm sorry.
[Alex Finch gets on the library computer to correct the problem of Miranda's unpaid books]
Alex Finch: This is bad.
Miranda Jeffries: How bad?
Alex Finch: Worse than I thought.
Miranda Jeffries: How worse?
Alex Finch: A lot. According to this, these books weren't legally checked out.
Miranda Jeffries: [Miranda nervously replies] Yeah. So?
Alex Finch: [Alex aggressively replies back] Yeah! So it means that I can't charge you for them! You beat the system.
[Miranda realizes Alex corrected the problem of her unpaid books by doing her a kindness, Miranda blushes as Alex smiles]
[Corinne tells her psychiatrist, Dr. Bailey, how she's been feeling about Louie]
Dr. Bailey: How have you been feeling?
Corinne Jeffries: Fantastic. It was Louie's birthday on Saturday. I baked him a cake with little cherries on it.
Dr. Bailey: I thought we agreed that you were going to stop cooking for him.
Corinne Jeffries: It was his birthday. It makes me happy to feed him. The Egyptians fed their dead.
Dr. Bailey: Not after 23 years.
[Alex drives home Philip to Corinne's house]
Philip Train: [Philip looks around the mess throughout Alex's front seat] What are you doing for dinner?
Alex Finch: Dinner? Uh...
Philip Train: [Alex opens his glove compartment revealing a couple oranges and a newspaper] You're coming with me. My friends live just down the street.
[Alex comes out of the bathroom, remembering that he was Louie in a previous life]
Alex Finch: Philip, it's great to see you again.
Philip Train: [Alex wraps a tight hug around Philip] It's great to see you.
Alex Finch: [Alex and Philip turn to see both Miranda and Corinne staring them down, as Alex gets terrified again to have to run back into the bathroom] Excuse me.
[Alex runs back into the bathroom slamming the door shut]
[Alex and Miranda sit on the guest room bed beside each other]
Alex Finch: Have you had a happy life?
Miranda Jeffries: [Miranda chuckles] Yeah, I guess so.
Alex Finch: Is there anything you've wanted that you haven't had?
Miranda Jeffries: My father.
Alex Finch: He was a pretty great guy, huh?
Miranda Jeffries: That's what they tell me.
Alex Finch: God, you sure have grown up nicely.
Miranda Jeffries: I'm glad you approve.
Alex Finch: [Miranda leans forward to kiss Alex on the lips, as Alex holds her off] Good night.
[Alex tries to tell Corinne that he's Louie]
Alex Finch: I'm not going to beat around the bush. You won't believe me, but there's something you should know.
Corinne Jeffries: All right.
Alex Finch: [Alex holds back from telling Corinne the truth, yelling] Our rain forests are being destroyed at a rate of 50 acres a minute!
[Alex meets the woman in the bookstore after some books fall]
Woman in the bookstore: This your first time as a human?
Alex Finch: What?
Woman in the bookstore: [the woman takes a guess as to what Alex was in a previous life] I'm getting a strong German Shepherd vibration.
Alex Finch: Uh. I used to be a lawyer.
Woman in the bookstore: [the woman frowns] Oh. Close.
[the woman in the bookstore explains to Alex about our past lives]
Woman in the bookstore: We're all connected. It's all connected under the skin. You never know who's lurking in what body. Your wife could be your Grandmother. You meet some guy who gets on your nerves, probably your Mother-in-Law. We keep meeting the souls we're attached to. For better or worse, life after life. Sometimes I wonder why I worry about past lives at all. I'm having so much trouble with this one. When you remember your past lives, it's like, your emotions get spread like a dangling nerve all over the map. It makes it very hard to live.
[Corinne asks Philip if he believes someone like Louie could come back to life]
Philip Train: Corinne... I can understand how a person's desires might lead her to believe that. It would be a dream come true. But the last guy to come back, that I know about, was Jesus Christ. You'll see Louie someday.
Corinne Jeffries: I know, in Heaven.
[Corinne kisses Philip on the cheek]
[Miranda gets Alex to dance with her at the museum party]
Alex Finch: [Miranda begins dancing rather close] Where did you learn to dance like that?
Miranda Jeffries: I inherited it from my father.
[Alex nervously grunts continuing to dance]
[Alex and Corinne have a pillow fight as she denies to believe he's the real Louie]
Alex Finch: I know everything about you, Corinne. I know that you love peanut butter, and rhubarb, and cats with yellow eyes.
Corinne Jeffries: You're a psychic. You're one of Shirley McClaine's kooks! A spook-bender.
Alex Finch: You love Johnny Manthis.
Corinne Jeffries: [Corinne hits Alex with the pillow] Get out of here!
Alex Finch: You hate flat feet.
Corinne Jeffries: [Corinne hits Alex with the pillow again] Before I scream so loud that everybody in the neighborhood shows up. I'll have you arrested for impersonating a person.
Alex Finch: And I know you did the Watusi before Lucy Baines, remember? Remember this?
[Alex kisses Corinne's mouth which gets her mouth to scream while closed, as she moans, the two fall-kissing in her and Louie's bed]
[Corinne and Alex talk about Miranda while out on a date]
Alex Finch: What was Miranda like at 10?
Corinne Jeffries: At 10? Precocious. Opinionated. Fiercely independent. She got braces then, which she removed with pliers after wearing them for about an hour.
Corinne Jeffries: [Alex chuckles] I remember Philip telling her, 'All great beauties must suffer and sacrifice'
[Alex asks Corinne to have more babies with him]
Alex Finch: [Alex holds Corinne in his hands] I want to have at least... Two more.
Corinne Jeffries: Babies?
Alex Finch: [Alex nods] It's not too late is it?
Corinne Jeffries: No.
Alex Finch: [Alex frowns and smiles] Can we start tonight?
[Corinne sneaks into Alex's bedroom and into his bed wearing only lingerie, crawling under the sheets, not knowing it's Philip she starts to kiss]
Corinne Jeffries: Oh, Louie!
Philip Train: Louie?
Corinne Jeffries: [Corinne sits up turning on the bedroom light] Philip?
Corinne Jeffries: [Corinne covers her chest with the blanket sheet] What are you doing here?
Philip Train: I'm not sure.
Corinne Jeffries: Whatever just happened between us was...
Philip Train: A miracle.
Corinne Jeffries: We almost... We could've...
Philip Train: We still can.
[the real Alex compliments Corinne on getting married to Philip]
Alex Finch: I just want to say congratulations. You and Philip make a great pair.
Corinne Jeffries: [Corinne takes Alex by the shoulder] Thanks Alex. You know. You're the first boyfriend of Miranda's I ever really liked.