Chances Are (1989)
Robert Downey Jr.: Alex
[Miranda sneaks into Alex's bedroom and into his bed wearing only lingerie, crawling under the sheets with him]
Alex Finch : [Alex thinking it's Corinne, invitingly responds] Hi, darling.
Miranda Jeffries : [Miranda whispers] Shh! Mom's next door.
Alex Finch : [Alex sits up turning on the bedroom light] What are you doing here?
Miranda Jeffries : What does it look like I'm doing?
Alex Finch : Miranda!
[Alex covers his naked chest with the blanket sheet]
Miranda Jeffries : What?
Alex Finch : [Alex sounding like a father says] It's way past your bedtime. Go to your room!
Alex Finch : Philip.
Philip Train : Yeah.
Alex Finch : There's something I have to tell you.
Philip Train : Now?
Alex Finch : I'm in love with Miranda.
Philip Train : I know.
[both men smile, as Alex looks to Miranda walking up the aisle in her bridesmaid dress, and Philip looks to Corinne walking up the aisle in her wedding dress]
Second Minister : [the wedding Officiant begins to speak] Dearly beloved, we have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless...
[the woman in the bookstore asks Alex who he was before]
Woman in the bookstore : Who were you?
Alex Finch : Oh, me? I was no one special.
Woman in the bookstore : Oh, we're all special!
Alex Finch : I mean, I wasn't Cleopatra or Hannibal or someone great or famous.
Woman in the bookstore : [the woman chuckles] I know you weren't Cleopatra. I was.
[Alex Finch gets on the library computer to correct the problem of Miranda's unpaid books]
Alex Finch : This is bad.
Miranda Jeffries : How bad?
Alex Finch : Worse than I thought.
Miranda Jeffries : How worse?
Alex Finch : A lot. According to this, these books weren't legally checked out.
Miranda Jeffries : [Miranda nervously replies] Yeah. So?
Alex Finch : [Alex aggressively replies back] Yeah! So it means that I can't charge you for them! You beat the system.
[Miranda realizes Alex corrected the problem of her unpaid books by doing her a kindness, Miranda blushes as Alex smiles]
[Alex drives home Philip to Corinne's house]
Philip Train : [Philip looks around the mess throughout Alex's front seat] What are you doing for dinner?
Alex Finch : Dinner? Uh...
Philip Train : [Alex opens his glove compartment revealing a couple oranges and a newspaper] You're coming with me. My friends live just down the street.
[Alex comes out of the bathroom, remembering that he was Louie in a previous life]
Alex Finch : Philip, it's great to see you again.
Philip Train : [Alex wraps a tight hug around Philip] It's great to see you.
Alex Finch : [Alex and Philip turn to see both Miranda and Corinne staring them down, as Alex gets terrified again to have to run back into the bathroom] Excuse me.
[Alex runs back into the bathroom slamming the door shut]
[Alex and Miranda sit on the guest room bed beside each other]
Alex Finch : Have you had a happy life?
Miranda Jeffries : [Miranda chuckles] Yeah, I guess so.
Alex Finch : Is there anything you've wanted that you haven't had?
Miranda Jeffries : My father.
Alex Finch : He was a pretty great guy, huh?
Miranda Jeffries : That's what they tell me.
Alex Finch : God, you sure have grown up nicely.
Miranda Jeffries : I'm glad you approve.
Alex Finch : [Miranda leans forward to kiss Alex on the lips, as Alex holds her off] Good night.
[Alex tries to tell Corinne that he's Louie]
Alex Finch : I'm not going to beat around the bush. You won't believe me, but there's something you should know.
Corinne Jeffries : All right.
Alex Finch : [Alex holds back from telling Corinne the truth, yelling] Our rain forests are being destroyed at a rate of 50 acres a minute!
[Alex meets the woman in the bookstore after some books fall]
Woman in the bookstore : This your first time as a human?
Alex Finch : What?
Woman in the bookstore : [the woman takes a guess as to what Alex was in a previous life] I'm getting a strong German Shepherd vibration.
Alex Finch : Uh. I used to be a lawyer.
Woman in the bookstore : [the woman frowns] Oh. Close.
[Alex and Corinne have a pillow fight as she denies to believe he's the real Louie]
Alex Finch : I know everything about you, Corinne. I know that you love peanut butter, and rhubarb, and cats with yellow eyes.
Corinne Jeffries : You're a psychic. You're one of Shirley McClaine's kooks! A spook-bender.
Alex Finch : You love Johnny Manthis.
Corinne Jeffries : [Corinne hits Alex with the pillow] Get out of here!
Alex Finch : You hate flat feet.
Corinne Jeffries : [Corinne hits Alex with the pillow again] Before I scream so loud that everybody in the neighborhood shows up. I'll have you arrested for impersonating a person.
Alex Finch : And I know you did the Watusi before Lucy Baines, remember? Remember this?
[Alex kisses Corinne's mouth which gets her mouth to scream while closed, as she moans, the two fall-kissing in her and Louie's bed]
[Corinne and Alex talk about Miranda while out on a date]
Alex Finch : What was Miranda like at 10?
Corinne Jeffries : At 10? Precocious. Opinionated. Fiercely independent. She got braces then, which she removed with pliers after wearing them for about an hour.
Corinne Jeffries : [Alex chuckles] I remember Philip telling her, 'All great beauties must suffer and sacrifice'