Funny Farm (1988)
Sheriff Ledbetter: Remember, Mrs. Farmer. Whenever you buy a house, whatever's in the ground belongs to you - whether it's gold or oil... or Claude Musselman.
Elizabeth Farmer: I'm convinced that our marriage has been one of mutual betrayals. I know it! YOU know it! Even Yellow Dog knows it!
Andy Farmer: I know it and you know it. Yellow Dog doesn't even know what town he's in.
Crocker: [reacting to Andy's anger about them, the movers, being late] You slept on the floor huh? We slept outside with the bugs and the wild animals. A bridge nearly killed us. Nobody knows where the hell Redbud is. And we haven't eaten since yesterday morning. So stay the hell out of our way and keep your mouth *shut*!
Elizabeth Farmer: What's going on, Andy...? You're sinking into a pit of self-pity, defeatism, and alcohol... and you're enjoying it!
Andy Farmer: We came to Redbud filled with hopes and dreams of a better life. And basically, we've seen those hopes and dreams crushed and battered before our very eyes.
Andy Farmer: [Andy and Elizabeth are showing Redbud to prospective buyers Bud and Betsy after hiring the town to "act normal"] This is going to cost us a fortune!
Elizabeth Farmer: The fifty-dollar bonus was YOUR idea.
Andy Farmer: [smiling] Little slice of heaven, isn't it, Bud?
Andy Farmer: You don't know a thing about writing. You're a Goddamn schoolteacher.
Andy Farmer: As a novelist, I turned out to be a pretty good sportswriter.
Newspaper Editor: Andy, all my life I've dreamed of packing up and leaving the city and the newspaper business behind.
Reporter: What stopped you, Jack?
Newspaper Editor: And moving to some quiet little town in the country and putting down on paper the novel I know I have inside me.
Reporter: That's not a novel, Jack, its heartburn.
Crocker: [Driver of the moving van] You still got that map?
Crocker: Don't lose it. It might be the piece of evidence that gets me off a murder charge.
Mickey: Who you gonna kill?
Crocker: The S.O.B. who drew that map.
Elizabeth Farmer: When they say hardwood floors, what they really mean is hard, wood floors.